JACK Toreno grins as he grabs his stainless steel salad tongs - but making a healthy meal is the last thing on his mind.
He’s actually in the wrestling ring and is about to use the kitchen utensil to pinch and twist his cowering, screaming opponent Samuel 'Defrain' Frain's willy.
Welcome to Dropkixx Academy's Essex-based wrestling showcase.
It's a sport that is heavily scripted, with contestants learning how to safely carry out moves in training.
It's all very slapstick - props include a rainbow trout and a party cake - but it's clear to young fans they are still idols, with kids buying posters and 'backstage passes' to get the stars' autographs.
But competitors insist moves are risky, and there's always a chance of real injury, injuries ranging from broken noses, dislocated shoulders and bloody eye wounds commonplace among the industry.
A popular sport dating back to ancient Greece and Egyptian time, shows like this happen all over the UK, and they've recently grown in popularity.
There are rules - no choking, and low blows are strictly prohibited.
This two-hour show - held in front of a crowd of about 100 at Brentwood Theatre and costing £30 for a family ticket - is broken down into four matches lasting up to 35 minutes, with 16 wrestlers performing.
The event is organised by promotion DropKixx Wrestling, an academy run by 31-year-old Lucas Jackson, who also works in retail, and while WWE big-shots can earn millions - Hulk Hogan is worth a whopping £25million - wrestlers here are generally paid £20 per show.
While tough, macho fighters in the ring, competitors at this level aren't full-time professionals, and many aspire to compete at a higher level.
A lot of them are dads, and by day they earn a living as carers, estate agents and Wilko shop assistants.
Here, The Sun Online reveal what really happens at semi-pro wrestling shows…
Slapped with a rainbow trout and willies grabbed with salad tongs
Wrestlers plan their moves just minutes before the show, and are told who will win by event organisers. The rest is up to them.
During the first fight, wrestlers Sam Frain, 30, Jack Toreno, 26, and Vinny Daniels, 25, whip out an array of bizarre props.
At one point they attack each other with a road sign and an eight foot ladder.
Then, Vinny grabs a slippery dead fish - a rainbow trout - and slaps his competitor across the face, before shoving it down someone else's trousers.
The crowd - predominantly young boys with their mums or teen girls - chant “this is awesome” and shriek in delight.
Defrain grabs a Sainsbury’s chocolate party cake, and gets his face shoved in it, before some salad tongs appear and are used to grab his willy.
At the end however, the MC is forced to apologise to the shocked family audience- where children are as young as four - after Vinny, getting carried away, called his rival a “b***h”.
While this is a family friendly show, ring owner Brett Meadows - himself a full time wrestler - explains there are more extreme events.
He says: “There are over-18 shows for adults to watch. They replace the rope with barbed wire and sometimes cover the floor in thumb tacks.”
Glittery leggings, skintight spandex and £600 outfits
The pay is low - some of the fighters can just get expenses covered - but it’s not cheap to be a wrestler.
The knee pads alone cost around £150 and every wrestler spends hundreds on their kit, and train three to four times a week.
24-year old Vaughan Koleosho, stage name Rohan Blake, is dressed in a purple ringmaster outfit, embellished with gold buttons.
He’s been into wrestling since he was 14 and while he admits he doesn’t get paid a lot, he says:“The wrestling gear itself costs quite a lot, it’s custom made and costs £500, so the whole outfit, about £600 in total.
“It’s a hobby but I’m looking to progress.”
Champagne Charlie, a maverick character created by Joshua Hopwood, 27 - a residential carer - isn't necessarily your stereotypical wrestler, but puts an equal amount of effort into his look.
He wears an Elton-John style outfit with heart shaped glasses and a red suit, and sips on 'champagne' as part of his gimmick as a 'party animal' in the ring.
‘I based my character on Joey Essex'
Aidan Simpson, 21, AKA Taylor Essex, from Chadwell, is an estate agent and dad of three, and one of the most popular wrestlers on the bill tonight- particularly with the women watching with their teenage kids.
He says: “I started off very TOWIE, I tried to be in your face, like Joey Essex. I tried to have a laugh, and be a good guy and bad guy at the same time.”
The black trunks he’s wearing tonight cost £100 a pop, and in his bag he has a pair of tiny metallic purple pants emblazoned with the word ‘Essex’ across the bum.
Tonight he’s also wearing a leather jacket, which he got customised for £80, adding his own silver studs.
He admits his fiancee has to be very understanding.
He says: “I always have to check in after every match to let her know I’m fine. My youngest daughter is six weeks, and I had my first match after her birth when she was three days old.”
‘My mum’s here to cheer me on’
Jack Toreno, from Basildon, Essex, is another huge figure in the ring.
Tonight, his mum and her friends are in the audience, and when he’s not wrestling, he works at bargain store, Wilko.
He says: “My character is like Hades in Hercules - cool, calm and collected, but will fly off the wall."
Like all wrestlers, he takes the sport very seriously, and while it's scripted, he's keen to big up the 'danger' element, claiming: “Every time you land on this mat it’s the equivalent of being hit by a car at 35 miles an hour.”
Thankfully his girlfriend of six months understands his love of the sport.
He says: “She’s a wrestler too. We understand what we’re getting ourselves into.
“She just thought I was a nice guy originally. It wasn’t until she saw me in the ring that she thought I was her cup of tea.”
The mums' favourite
Six-time ‘Chaos Champion’ Sam started boxing 15 years ago. He’s 6ft 3, 250lb and in the ring is known as ‘bad guy’ Defrain, earning up to £70 a show.
He’s also an IT designer, specialising in kitchen and bathroom design.
He says: “The crowd love a good bit of violence. The kids hate me but I’ve been dubbed ‘the mum’s favourite’.
“My girlfriend Alison is alright with it. She gets worried sometimes that I’ll get hurt.”
Later in the ring he's whipped across the back by rival Vinny Daniels with a kendo stick - a type of bamboo cane.
In half time, he removes the top of his singlet to reveal multiple red raw, bleeding slashes across his back.
He explains: “Normally if you get hit with the side of the kendo stick it doesn’t really hurt. [This time] it hurts a lot but the adrenaline and the crowd clapping gets you through it.”
‘I had blood all over my face’
Despite being a predominantly story-driven sport, it’s not the first time a wrestler has been actually injured.
Sam says: “I’ve broken my nose. The guy came down on top of my face with his knee during a show. I had blood all over my face. The crowd were loving it.
“I’ve hurt my leg quite a few times so I’ve got a bit of a limp when I walk now. I’ve also got a scar under my eyebrow where I got hit in the face with a pole.”
Club owner Lucas has dislocated his shoulder during a match while Jack has suffered a nasty gash to his eye after being elbowed in the face. Just the night before this show, his mate broke his hand in two places, requiring surgery.
Money-making gimmicks
A budget raffle takes place at half time with prizes including a bottle of Cava and a box of Heroes, and some of the wrestlers, including dad-of-two Mitch Jackson - known as Mitch Baxter -sell their own merchandise like T-shirts in the interval.
After the show kids pay £3 to get a ‘backstage pass’ which means they can get their idols’ autographs.
And despite the menacing personas, the show ends with one young boy being hoisted up on to Taylor Essex’s shoulders while the wrestlers gather round politely to sing Happy Birthday.
Packing away their wrestling gear and changing back into their jeans and T-shirts, the wrestlers then pack away the ring before heading home to their families, while Jack Toreno has a post-match debrief - with his mum.