OF all the trophies Harry Kane has missed out on, this one will have stung the most.
This was supposed to have been a dead cert. This was nailed-on.
Bayern Munich had won 11 successive Bundesliga titles, so when the England captain signed for the great Bavarian powerhouse last summer, we all said: “Well, at least he’ll finally win something.”
Yet on Sunday evening, there were Bayer Leverkusen — known in Germany as ‘Neverkusen’ because they hadn’t previously won the league thanks to several late implosions — cavorting around, 16 points clear, unbeaten in all competitions and confirmed as champions with five games to spare.
And so the greatest trophy curse in footballing history continues.
Kane is always the runner-up, always the nearly man, always the fall guy, too often a figure of fun for those taking pleasure in the misfortune of others.
Does anyone know the German word for schadenfreude . . . ?
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And this one really is freakish because Leverkusen’s story is almost as extraordinary as Leicester City’s miracle title in 2015-16 — the season when Kane won his first Premier League Golden Boot and Tottenham ended up ‘third in a two-horse race’ behind Arsenal.
Xabi Alonso’s side have no established world-class players and were in the relegation zone when their remarkable manager arrived 18 months ago.
Yet the only player to have left north London last summer to become a Bundesliga winner is Leverkusen’s Granit Xhaka, not Kane.
When Kane spoke to the English media in September, soon after his move to Munich, there was an acceptance that everyone assumed his new club would be crowned champions again this season.
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Kane told us: “With Bayern Munich sometimes we expect them to win because they have won (the Bundesliga) for the last 11 years.
“But in my short period, there is still a lot of pressure to win these trophies.
“We have not won the Cup for a few years and we haven’t won the Champions League for a few years, so there is definitely a lot to gain and a lot of pressure to take.”
Kane wasn’t being arrogant, just realistic. The Bundesliga was a given but the German Cup and certainly the Champions League would be real achievements.
Yet here we are, on the eve of a Champions League quarter-final second leg against Arsenal — of all teams — with the European Cup the only available silverware.
The England captain is seven goals clear in the Bundesliga’s golden boot race. His tally of 32 league goals puts him 21 ahead of Leverkusen’s top scorers, Florian Wirtz and Victor Boniface.
And Kane has genuinely improved Bayern, who are on target to beat last season’s Bundesliga points tally when they pipped Borussia Dortmund to the title.
So Bayern’s failure is not down to Kane. None of his near-misses ever really are.
His individual brilliance is unquestionable. He has scored four hat-tricks in the most prolific debut Bundesliga season in history.
And as well as his sheer volume of goals, he has been scoring some absolute corkers — having won four German ‘Goal of the Month’ awards.
Kane will have a Bundesliga golden boot to go with three Premier League golden boots and one World Cup golden boot.
He is England’s greatest goalscorer and Tottenham’s greatest goalscorer.
The individual accolades have been piling up ever since he was named Millwall’s young player of the year while on loan at The Den in 2012 — the last year Bayern failed to rule Germany.
And as we well know, Kane is no selfish goal-poacher.
He has contributed 12 assists for Bayern and it is his all-round game which has surprised most German observers — if not his boss Thomas Tuchel, who witnessed Kane as the Premier League’s leading assist-maker as well as leading scorer in 2021.
Kane has genuinely improved Bayern, who are on target to beat last season’s Bundesliga points tally when they pipped Borussia Dortmund to the title. So Bayern’s failure is not down to Kane. None of his near-misses ever really are.
Dave Kidd
Kane’s Tottenham were Premier League runners-up to Antonio Conte’s Chelsea in 2017, they lost League Cup finals to Jose Mourinho’s Chelsea in 2015 and Pep Guardiola’s Manchester City in 2021 — just days after Spurs sacked Mourinho.
Then there was the 2019 Champions League final against Jurgen Klopp’s Liverpool and the Euros final in 2021, when England reached their first major final in 55 years but lost to Italy on penalties, having led in the match and the shootout.
The list of agonies is remarkable. It is difficult to find anything comparable in British sport.
Jimmy White lost all six of his world snooker finals but won plenty of other trophies. Colin Montgomerie never won a Major golf tournament but there were Ryder Cups, world No 1 status and other tournament wins.
English football’s greatest non-trophy winners were one-club men who stayed loyal to smaller clubs, like Tom Finney, Johnny Haynes and Matt Le Tissier.
But Tottenham aren’t Preston, Fulham or Southampton. And Bayern Munich certainly aren’t.
So Arsenal will encounter a wounded Kane at the Allianz Arena tomorrow with their tie all square at 2-2.
But even if Bayern prevail, they would be clear underdogs against Manchester City or Real Madrid in the semis.
It’s enough to make you believe in hexes and hoodoos and voodoo.
And you would have to be an exceptionally mean-spirited Arsenal supporter to take any real pleasure from it.
WAT NEXT
OLLIE WATKINS was poor as an England starter in the friendly defeat by Brazil last month, with Ivan Toney more impressive as the No 9 against Belgium three days later.
But seeing Watkins kill off Arsenal with such a sublime finish on Sunday, and considering his 19 goals and ten assists in the Premier League this season, makes it clear the Aston Villa striker must be Harry Kane’s understudy at the Euros.
OH MAN
THE frightening thing about Manchester United’s season is that they should really be lower than seventh in the Premier League.
Even during their current run of one win in seven league matches, United’s results have been better than their performances.
Erik ten Hag’s team deserved to lose each of their last three drawn games against Brentford, Liverpool and Bournemouth.
On goal difference, United are ninth in the league, while only seven teams have scored fewer than their 47 goals.
And if we give any credence to ‘expected points’, then that stat would have them 15th in the table.
If Ten Hag’s men lose Sunday’s FA Cup semi-final to Championship side Coventry, it should not come as a major surprise.
MUR BLIMEY
DAFTEST quote of the week came from Burnley assistant manager Craig Bellamy.
He watched blundering Clarets keeper Arijanet Muric gift Brighton an equaliser and said: “Never look at it as the goalkeeper’s mistake — it’s OUR mistake.”
Yeah and give everyone a medal at the primary school sports day, just for turning up.
EURO BLUES
UNLESS there is an extraordinary comeback from either Liverpool or West Ham in this Thursday’s second legs, there will be no Premier League team in next month’s Europa League final in Dublin.
So there will have been no English winner of that competition for five consecutive seasons and only one English finalist — Manchester United, who lost on penalties to Villarreal in 2021.
This doesn’t tally with the accepted wisdom that the Premier League is the most competitive on Earth, with the greatest strength in depth.
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KLIPP KLOPP
JURGEN KLOPP says his wife wants him to take up dancing when he quits as Liverpool boss next month.
Let’s hope he doesn’t take any tips from misfiring striker Darwin Nunez, who has the worst shot conversion rate in Europe’s big five leagues — and who seems to have two left feet whenever he gets near the dancefloor.