The UK’s £52billion Brexit bill is the bitter EU’s version of revenge porn
WHEN the European Union produces a £52billion divorce bill for Brexit, they are not simply asking us to pay – they are commanding that we suffer.
The EU wants the British to bitterly rue the day that we ever voted to leave.
That ludicrous bill — which they can shove right up their Jean-Claude Juncker — proves the EU will not allow us to walk away.
They want us to crawl.
And above all they are saying to the other nations looking longingly at the EU exit door: “You see what happens when you leave? You see how you live to regret it? You understand now what bad things happen?”
Most people in our country, whatever side of the referendum debate they were on, desire a friendly split from the EU.
We are prepared to pay whatever outstanding bills we owe.
We see no need for the end of the relationship to produce furious anger on either side.
Just because a partnership is ending, that does not mean you can’t discuss custody of the dog without raising your voice.
But it is difficult to have a civilized break-up when the other side is determined to boil your bunny.
It is impossible to have an amicable separation when one side wants to cut up the other side’s clothes.
That £52billion bill is the diplomatic equivalent of revenge porn.
The EU wants to punish us.
Talk about an abusive relationship!
Historians of the future will note that Brexit marked the beginning of the end for the EU, so no wonder they are incandescent with rage.
It is difficult to split up when one side doesn’t want the relationship to ever end.
The Prime Minister has done her very best to do the right thing, saying from the start that she is willing to respect the rights of EU citizens living here — as long as exactly the same courtesy is extended to British citizens living in the EU.
That fair and friendly opening gambit was dismissed out of hand by Germany’s Angela Merkel.
And now the House of Lords demands the rights of EU workers in the UK are guaranteed — their Lordships don’t give a toss about British workers in the EU — but how can Theresa May make that guarantee when Merkel and her flunkies will not do the same for British expats in the EU?
The absurd £52billion bill, the refusal to see reason about British expats . . . this divorce is a lot nastier than it needs to be.
Oh, Frau Merkel — can’t we just remember the good times?
• IF Ukip has a future then it needs a new cause not shared by the other political parties.
If it promised to abolish the House of Lords, Ukip could tempt millions away from voting Tory.
High Time for Karen to shut up
IN May it will be ten years since the disappearance of Madeleine McCann from an apartment in Portugal’s Praia da Luz.
We all know the story but none of us can truly know the misery, grief and guilt that parents Gerry and Kate McCann must have endured every single night and day for all that decade.
So when I see selfie slapper Karen Danczuk slagging the McCanns off on Twitter, my jaw drops.
Can’t even the most flinty-hearted ignoramus find the human compassion to leave the McCanns to grieve in private?
“Anyone who says the McCanns are innocent, just remember they left three children under the age of four alone to go out,” raves Karen. “Either way they have guilt!”
I am sure that a boob-baring nobody like Karen does not even show up on the radar of Kate and Gerry McCann.
And I bet that this pap-shaking self-publicist can add absolutely nothing to the unendurable suffering of parents who have lost their daughter.
But haven’t the McCanns suffered more than enough for a moment’s mistake that – if we are honest – any parent could make?
Please, Karen – keep your mouth shut and let your selfies do the talking.
Still need answers on George
AFTER a coroner ruled that George Michael died of natural causes, the tragic star’s body will finally be returned to his family for burial.
But questions remain.
The coroner refused to say if drink or drugs were in George’s body, only that he died from heart and liver disease.
We do not even know the exact time that George died.
And George’s lover, Fadi Fawaz, has still not given a credible explanation as to why he slept in his car in sub-zero temperatures on Christmas Eve before finding George’s body on Christmas Day.
“F*** YOU”, hissed Fadi on Twitter to those who have questioned him.
But all George Michael’s fans want to know is the unvarnished truth about his death.
That is not too much to ask.
The unanswered questions will have to keep for some other time.
Now it is time to say goodbye.
George Michael was loved by the world but nobody loved him more than his father Jack and his sisters, Melanie and Yioda.
They deserve the peace and space to bury the son and brother they knew as their beloved Yog.
JOHN TERRY shared pictures of his swanky skiing holiday on Instagram and burglars promptly broke into his Surrey mansion and ransacked the place.
What were the chances of that happening?
As John has three million followers on Instagram, I would say rather high.
STYLE journalists viciously condemn Barack Obama’s leather jacket and Levi’s ensemble.
I thought Obama looked terrific.
And the perfect replacement for Matt LeBlanc on Top Gear.
Jojo bow has got to gogo
PARENTS are outraged that schools across the country are banning girls from wearing JoJo Bows, the jumbo-sized fashion accessory named after 13-year-old US TV star JoJo Siwa, who started the craze.
“In my eyes it’s silly banning them,” fumed one mum. “Kids are just being kids and they like the latest fashion trends.
“They make out like it’s a gun or something, but come on, they’re only hair clips.”
Heads are being made out to be miserable killjoys for not allowing fashion-crazy girls to come to class looking like an Easter egg.
But Chris Ashley, head at Fairfield Community Primary in Bury, backs the decision to ban the bows.
“We have a massive curriculum now and there is simply no time for added distractions like this,” he said.
I find myself siding with that head.
Because you can bet your life that girls are not wearing JoJo Bows in schools where they are serious about their education.
Are they wearing JoJo Bows in high-achieving state schools or in private schools?
What do you reckon?
The girls who are working hard right now to get a stack of good GCSEs – and I am the proud father of one of them – have not got their minds on ribbons and bows in school time.
A teenage girl can either get a serious education or she can dress up like a human Easter egg.
But she can’t do both.
Hayes on path to recovery
AS David Haye starts his long recovery from Achilles reattachment surgery, boxing fans ponder if his clash with Tony Bellew was the greatest pub fight of all time.
Full credit to Haye for hanging in there so long when he could just about stand up.
And full credit to Bellew for defying all the experts to come up with an upset of Donald Trump-like proportions.
But it was all far too much like a scrap in the car park of The Rat And Trumpet.
Haye came out swinging and missing by a mile.
After running out of puff, Bellew took an age to knock over a man who only had one working leg.
Someone should have called, “Time, gentleman, please!” a lot earlier.
Kylie bounces back
Last month Kylie Minogue celebrated ten years free of breast cancer.
And launching her Specsavers range of glasses in Sydney, Kylie celebrated being shot of cheating ex Joshua Sasse.
Serious illness, flakey boyfriends – nothing can stop the pint-sized, pert-bottomed Aussie beauty from smiling for very long.
And men will always make passes at girls with great glasses.
Paedo's paradise
FACEBOOK can no longer remain loftily indifferent about the child pornography that is displayed on its site.
If a newspaper prints an image, it is held accountable for that image.
The same should be true of tech giants such as Facebook.
The BBC flagged up 100 examples of sickening child abuse on Facebook.
Unforgivably, Facebook failed to remove 82 of them.
That is enabling and promoting the abuse of children.
Facebook is allowing paedophiles to crawl out of the sewer and into the mainstream.
It is time for Facebook to start taking resposibility for the child abuse it displays.
There can’t be one law for newspapers and no law at all for Facebook.
THE last surviving Dambuster, 95-year-old George “Johnny” Johnson is still waiting for his knighthood.
It is a shame Johnny risked his life fighting Nazi Germany and didn’t do something useful.
Like David Cameron’s press releases or Samantha Cameron’s nails.
That knighthood would have been a shoo-in.