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tony parsons

Men-only Muslim swimming pools are an insult to a United Kingdom built on equality

After 50 years of feminism, why should men and women be segregated because of a minority’s religious beliefs?

THE invitation to have fun in the taxpayer-funded, Olympic–sized swimming pool could hardly sound more welcoming.

“Kids, adults, beginners and pros all welcome,” says the poster for Friday night swimming sessions at the Inspire Sports Village in Luton.

Inspire Sports Village
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Water disgrace . . . females of every age are forbidden to enter the beautiful pool on Friday-nights when the water is for the exclusive use of men and boysCredit: SWNS

But not everyone is welcome in the water.

Because women are not welcome.

And girls are not welcome.

And females of every age are forbidden to enter the beautiful pool — made famous in Tom Daley’s game show, Splash! — during those prime time Friday-night slots when the water is for the exclusive use of men and boys.

The Inspire Sports Village has introduced men-only swimming sessions to put a smile on the face of Luton’s growing Muslim population. And Luton has a large Muslim population.

The most recent census in 2011 showed that a quarter of Luton’s 196,173 population was Muslim, up 25 per cent in ten years.

“There is a large demand for it,” says Abdul-Wadud Ahmed, 31, the gentleman who came up with the idea. “One of the reasons being that swimming is a prophetic activity where Mohammed, peace be upon Him, encourages Muslim men and women to swim.

“The second point is of religious reasons where there is sensitivity around men and women mixing and exposing of each other’s bodies. My phone has been going off the hook with people asking about it and we haven’t had any negative feedback from anyone.”

Perhaps he should talk to a few more people.

Inspire Sports Village
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Making a splash . . . the Inspire Sports Village has introduced men-only swimming sessionsCredit: SWNS

There may be a demand among Luton’s Muslims for men-only swimming but what about everybody else? Does their opinion matter?

There is plenty of evidence that Luton’s non-Muslim population finds the concept of men-only bathing completely and totally alien to everything this country believes in.

“I can’t believe this is allowed to happen,” said a young mother called Mandy. “The pool was built and is run by taxpayers’ money. It’s completely segregating and sends out the wrong message to children.”

When the men are having their segregated dip, women are obliged to use a smaller, inferior swimming pool that is less than half the size of the Olympic pool.

“It (segregation) has never been needed for hundreds of years,” said a father called Mark. “I don’t know why it is needed now.”

Because this country bends over backwards to accommodate its immigrant population.

This open-hearted generosity has now reached the absurd point where our tolerance extends to the intolerance of others.

Say it loud — segregated swimming pools have no place in modern Britain.

After 50 years of feminism and a century since the Suffragettes, it is grotesque that men and women are being segregated in 21st Century Britain because of a minority’s religious beliefs.

Men and women are equal in Britain. Separating the sexes is not simply alien to our society, it is repulsive — importing a medieval mindset of separation and subservience into the heart of a nation that is built on equality.

In our country everyone is free to worship how they wish, believe what they choose to believe and wear what they want — no matter how stupid it may look.

This remains the most tolerant nation on the planet.

But if you want to keep your local swimming pool uncontaminated by females, then why not go and live in a Muslim country?

Passport's stamp of approval

Blast from the past ... bringing back the dark blue British passport would prove that Brexit truly does mean Brexit
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Blast from the past . . . bringing back the dark blue British passport would prove that Brexit truly does mean BrexitCredit: Alamy

THE restoration of the dark blue British passport would prove that Brexit truly does mean Brexit.

It would also go some way to shutting the flapping cake holes of those who peddle the myth that the 17,410,742 people who voted to leave the EU only did so because we were lied to.

If anyone lied it was the Remain side with their dark threats of war, economic collapse and an emergency budget if we voted to leave.

“The redundancies will start immediately,” warned George Osborne.

Who knew George was talking about himself?

So bring back our beautiful blue passport – but let it be more than a symbol of our independence.

The British should enter this country in a line reserved exclusively for the citizens of our country – just as they do in America, Australia and Japan.

That blue passport should mean that we are not simply entering another European country. We are coming home.

- WHAT a gloriously reassuring sight to see Scotland Yard’s Counter Terrorism Specialist Firearms Officers looking tooled up and ready for anything.

As the Duke of Wellington said of his army on the eve of Waterloo, “I don’t know what effect these men have on the enemy, but by God they frighten me.”

 

Harry is Sirius-ly magic

J.K. Rowling
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Golden touch . . . Forbes places Rowling as its third richest author with earnings of £14.2million last yearCredit: Reuters

LIKE a large part of the population, we have had a Harry Potter summer in our house.

Last weekend, as Saturday night became Sunday morning, I was one of the parents accompanying their child to a bookstore so that they could buy Harry Potter and the Cursed Child – the book of the hit play – at the first possible moment.

All this while wearing a Voldemort mask that made me look as though I’d had brain surgery earlier that day, possibly performed by Mary Berry.

And on Thursday I was online at ten in the morning as 250,000 tickets for the play went on sale. At just before midnight, more than 12 hours later, I bought two seats for August 2017.

Such is the phenomenal appeal of JK Rowling.

Forbes places Rowling as its third richest author with earnings of £14.2million last year. What makes her unique is the passion she inspires among her young readers.

In a technology-soaked age, Rowling made an entire generation fall in love with reading.

And for that she deserves every penny she ever earns.

Pokemon... no hope

AS a grizzled veteran of the golden years of sex and drugs and rock ’n’ roll, I was shocked to hear that young millennials would rather play Pokémon Go than go to bed with another human being.
The generation born between 1980 and 2000 has more virgins than any generation since those born in the Twenties.
Youngsters of today would apparently rather hold a shiny new smartphone than a hot, throbbing manhood.
Yet it is not difficult to understand why there is a sex drought among the youth. It is so much easier to have a digital life than a real one.
For all the nostalgia for the debauched years when the world was post-Pill and pre-Aids, life before smartphones were invented was not easy.
Cool guys who looked like Rod Stewart would steal your girlfriend. Bra straps would get stuck in the back seat of your Ford Anglia. Rejection was everywhere. A heaving dance floor could be a place of humiliation. “You go and you stand on your own,” sang Morrissey. “And you leave on your own.”
The digital world is seductive because real life, then and now, is messy. It is so much easier to get what you want from a flickering screen rather than another human being.
If hot and cold running porn had been available when I was a lad, I would probably still be in my bedroom in Billericay. And refusing to come out.

So glad Cameron has gong

David Cameron
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Beach body ready? . . . only an arrogant streak could persuade Dave that his pink, podgy body warrants a pair of £225 Orlebar Brown swimming trunks

IN his final arrogant act, David Cameron rewards his useless cronies and degrades the honours system with a list that, as Lib Dem leader Tim Farron has it, “would embarrass a medieval court”.

Historians will conclude that Cameron’s distinguishing feature was his Old Etonian arrogance, despite having so little to be arrogant about.

Cameron’s arrogance propelled him into office. That arrogance made him believe he could smooth-talk the British people into staying in the European Union.

And that arrogance persuades Dave that his pink, podgy body warrants a pair of £225 Orlebar Brown swimming trunks.

As Cameron does his Moby Dick impression on a Corsican beach, I can’t summon up one iota of warmth, admiration or respect for the man, despite voting for him at two General Elections.

Some say we should scrap the honours system.

Let’s just be grateful that we have scrapped David Cameron.

 

Palmerston and Larry
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Claws for thought . . . Palmerston the Foreign Office cat (black/ white) resumed his scrap with Larry the No10 catCredit: Steve Back

DOG owners will be bewildered by the ferocious fight between Downing Street mousers Larry and Palmerston.

What vicious creatures cats are! If Larry and Palmerston were a pair of dogs, they would have politely sniffed each other’s butts and then left each other in peace.

 

Trump that

DESPITE the support of Clint Eastwood, Mike Tyson and Hulk Hogan, Donald Trump killed his chance of becoming President when he mocked the parents of a Muslim American soldier who was killed fighting in Iraq.
An American family who has a loved one die in uniform is known as a Gold Star family. And they are sacred.

 

Phillip Green
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Dishonourable discharge . . . perhaps it would be better to strip Sir Phillip of his finances instead of his knighthoodCredit: Times Newspapers Ltd

I AM all for stripping that fattest of cats, Sir Philip Green, of his precious knighthood.

But I can’t help feeling that it would hurt the bloated billionaire a lot more to be stripped of some of his precious money.


 

Orlando Bloom and Katy Perry
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Upgrade . . . Katy Perry must be feeling pretty pleased with her new man

FERRIED around the blue waters of the Mediterranean by buck-naked Orlando Bloom, Katy Perry has the smile of a woman who has performed a spectacular boyfriend upgrade.

Russell Brand must be wincing at the size of Orlando’s paddle.

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