Clusterfudge PM Theresa May has the leadership skills of a damp dishcloth and no vision for Brexit
THE word “shambles” is often used in politics but during my 20 years in Westminster I have never seen such a mess - or as The Thick of It’s Malcolm Tucker calls it, a “clusterf***”.
The Tories are so busy plotting against each other they have forgotten there is a country to run.
They have become a circular firing squad. Or a crap remake of Fight Club — except they DO talk about Fight Club. All the time.
Theresa May has the leadership skills of a damp dishcloth, no authority and no political vision.
A strong leader needs a clear mission. You may not agree with it, but you know what they stand for.
“Live each day like it’s your last,” is our Prime Minister’s political strategy, except she’s not dancing in the rain.
She is waiting for the sharks to circle. And soon they will come for her.
Buffoon-in-chief Boris Johnson and Jacob Rees-Mogg — a man so old-fashioned he could have been dug up by Time Team — wait to pounce. And Brexit is a mess. Things are so bad, even Elon Musk is out of ideas. No one will be happy with where we end up.
And because there is no party political or Brexit majority in the Commons, politics is stuck, trapped in what feels like a never-ending Brexistential crisis.
Normally, I’m with “Brenda From Bristol” when it comes to more elections and referendums.
But maybe a People’s Vote on the final deal or another election is the only way to unblock Brexit.
Think of it like a political plunger — unpleasant, nasty but necessary.
You’d think the Opposition would be gleefully capitalising on all this chaos. Think again. Instead of going after the Tories, Labour has decided to traumatise the Jewish community. Again.
Labour has had a horrible problem with anti-Semitism, yet instead of healing the wound, it has poured vinegar on it by choosing not to adopt the full International Holocaust Remembrance Alliance code of conduct.
These guys sound pretty authoritative and the code is good enough for government departments and the Crown Prosecution Service.
Many Jewish groups and leaders, including the Chief Rabbi, are distraught, confused and angry. And you can see why.
This shameful decision led to an angry clash outside the Commons chamber where Jewish MP Margaret Hodge confronted Jeremy Corbyn, allegedly calling him an anti-Semite and a racist.
Hodge lost family in the Holocaust and fought off the BNP in her Barking and Dagenham constituency.
Instead of acknowledging her pain and offering to sit down with her, Team Corbyn are taking disciplinary action against her.
I bet they deal with her far quicker than they did with Ken Livingstone, who couldn’t stop banging on about Hitler.
What dark times for Labour, which once had a proud tradition of fighting racism. They must sort it out.
Then we have the Lib Dems, who have proved useless. They have one policy — stop Brexit.
Yet leader Vince Cable and ex-leader Tim Farron missed crucial votes on Monday. Talk about Dem and Dumber.
To top it all off, the DUP’s Ian Paisley Jnr has been suspended for 30 days — which hasn’t happened since 1949 — for failing to declare lavish holidays to that well-known Northern Irish stakeholder, Sri Lanka.
And to think Theresa May planned to give MPs an extra five days off as a reward for all their hard work.
The country has had enough of these fools’ infighting, incompetence and filling their boots. Especially when we face so many big problems, from NHS funding to housing.
Parliament’s end-of-term report is a big, fat fail. British politics should be taken into special measures.
Cher beauty
THE premiere of Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again was sun-kissed, frothy fun – and no one mentioned the Customs Union. Bliss.
The stars were out in full, including Cher. She is magnificent, but it is a little odd that at 72 she has fewer wrinkles than any other cast member, including 29-year-old Lily James. And the baby.
She told Lorraine Kelly it was down to not drinking, smoking or doing drugs. Yeah, right.
We women may be naive when it comes to the quest for eternal beauty, but we ain’t stupid.
Breakfast clubs not a luxury
WHEN you hear of people getting up in the middle of the night and queuing, you think of the Boxing Day sales or the release of the latest Apple gadget.
You don’t think of childcare.
Yet more than 100 parents queued from 3am – armed with chairs, flasks and biscuits – trying to bag their child a coveted place in the breakfast club at a primary school in Cardiff.
For many working parents, breakfast clubs are a lifeline.
They can drop off the children in a safe environment where they can get a decent breakfast, then make it to work on time themselves.
Though parents have the right to request flexible working hours, many fear the sack if they come in late.
These spaces were limited and dished out on a first-come, first-served basis, which is why the parents took such drastic measures.
This shows how desperate parents are for childcare that matches their working hours.
The scrapping of Labour’s extended school programme and the first real-terms cuts to schools mean all these extras that were provided are no longer affordable.
It’s a necessity for millions of families and they are crying out for more breakfast and after-school clubs.
Bozo Bez forgets the rest
JEFF BEZOS, the boss of Amazon, is a man clearly in his “Prime”.
He’s now the richest man in modern history.
Good for him.
I’m all for celebrating entrepreneurs and hard work – but shouldn’t that apply to his poor workers toiling away in his warehouses?
They would probably give Amazon working conditions zero stars.
I wish our business leaders remembered some of their forefathers, who felt a moral and civic responsibility to look after their employees and took some pride in that.
It makes business sense too. Happy workers are better workers.
So after Bezos pops open the champagne, maybe he could spare a thought for his staff, who told an undercover reporter they pee in bottles because the loos are too far away and they are afraid of being accused of time-wasting.
C’mon, Jeff – that’s really taking the p**s.
I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream
ONE school in Liverpool had to apologise after kids as young as four were left in tears when they were denied an ice cream treat because they didn’t have a 97 per cent attendance record.
How mean is that? What if they were ill? And surely it’s the parents’ fault.
I feel their pain. In this ungodly heatwave, ice cream is a lifeline.
Magnums are my new fruit and veg.
I try to get in five portions a day.
Who will care for carers?
CARERS got another kick in the teeth this week when the Court of Appeal overturned a decision that those doing sleep-in shifts should earn at least the minimum wage.
If the decision had gone through, it would have cost the UK care sector billions – so charities and local governments were relieved.
But it shows what a raw deal carers get.
Judges said only hours spent awake counted as work – but that is completely out of touch with the reality of what carers do.
Many of the elderly and vulnerable people they look after need their help through the night, whether it’s a trip to the loo, to take medication or dealing with more serious situations such as seizures. Carers can’t exactly fall into a deep sleep. They have to be alert and listening in case they are needed.
The rooms they sleep in may not be comfortable and they will be away from their own families.
Many carers are paid so little that they live hand to mouth and barely get by.
When I met a group in the West Midlands, they told me they couldn’t afford to put the heating on in winter and had to take their kids to the grandparents’ for tea once or twice a week just so they would be fed.
Some were struggling so much they had to visit food banks.
most read in news
But they also loved their jobs and took great pride in looking after their clients as if they were family.
They get paid a pittance, with some earning just £30 for a ten-hour shift.
These low-paid workers – the majority of whom are women – are unsung heroes and deserve more.
New Health Secretary Matt Hancock must make social care a priority and enforce minimum-wage law properly.
It’s time we took better care of our carers.