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PMQS SCORE

Even with a rubbish goalkeeper in embattled Theresa May, Jeremy Corbyn missed every shot in this week’s PMQs shootout

The Labour leader hit the woodwork and the ball flew back and bumped him right on the noggin while the Prime Minister, blighted by dressing room rows and hampered by questions about her ability, wasn’t beaten once

JEREMY Corbyn stepped up to the penalty spot and stared at the back of the net.

A weak and feeble goalie, blighted by dressing room rows and hampered by questions about her ability, glared back.

 The Labour leader hit the woodwork and the ball flew back and bumped him right on the noggin
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The Labour leader hit the woodwork and the ball flew back and bumped him right on the nogginCredit: PA

The crowd hushed, as the ref signalled a commencement of the shootout. The Labour leader stepped back, took his run up and WHOOSH…thud. Groan.

The ball bounced off the woodwork and landed right on his noggin. A question about buses. That will win it!

And another, but the second attempt was easily batted away by the Number 10. And another. And again.

But Mrs May didn't even really need to punch away the rest - they just missed.

 Even though Mrs may is blighted by dressing room rows Mr Corbyn failed to score once against her
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Even though Mrs may is blighted by dressing room rows Mr Corbyn failed to score once against herCredit: PA

By the end she seemed delighted she had not had a single Brexit ball drilled at her, or even a left field shot about her embattled Pension Secretary.

No instead, Jeremy Corbyn just kept going on buses.

They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different result, but clearly no one told the Leader of the Opposition.

The government is on the brink of collapse and Mr Corbyn was squinting at a timetable and screaming about the evils of free market capitalism and threatening rationalisation.

​Prime Minister Theresa May and Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn congratulate the England foo​tball team on their World Cup win and wish them all the best for the future

And as the slightly baffled Tory comedian who immediately followed him up put it...

“You wait for ages for a question about busses, then six come a long at once."

FINAL SCORE: Theresa May 60 Jeremy Corbyn

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