In a week Diane Abbott could be in the Cabinet and Jeremy Corbyn could be moving in to No 10… we should be worried
THE British people have invented many wonderful things in their time.
Steam trains, parliamentary democracy, the television, how to split an atom and The X Factor are just a few.
Labour’s Diane Abbott has added another to the very long list. Racism. Diane says that British people invented it. Without the UK, racism would not exist.
Interesting, no? It would certainly come as news to the South Africans. And the Jews. And whatever tribes the Romans were persecuting a thousand years before.
Diane, said this stuff quite a few years ago. About the same time as she said she hoped the IRA would defeat the British state.
Yes, of course, the woman is pig-ignorant.
She hates Britain. Everything the country has done, everything it stands for.
She is a racist herself — having implied that black mothers love their children more than white mothers do.
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And a week from now she could be our Home Secretary. Despite having said that the Home Office is “fundamentally racist”.
Everything is racist, according to Diane.
Nestle Rowntree Biscuit and Raisin Yorkie bars, geese, grouting used for bathroom tiles, KFC Chicken Zingers, air — they’re probably all racist too, in Diane’s book.
The woman is loopier than a fruit loop which has been looped around several other fruit loops.
Home Secretary, a week from now.
And that grim humourless Trotskyite John McDonnell as Chancellor of the Exchequer.
And then there’s Jezza. Jeremy Corbyn, with his beard and Leninist hat.
Hasn’t got the remotest clue about how his ludicrous manifesto might be paid for. Doesn’t have the figures.
None of them do, because they’re all made up.
But he hates Britain, too. He supported the IRA. And the terrorists of Hamas.
He opposed our fight to regain the Falkland Islands.
He said recently that Britain hasn’t fought a “just” war since 1945.
Loathes everything about Britain.
Prefers commie or part-commie basket-case countries such as Cuba and Ecuador. And Palestine. And what’s he got in store for us, should he be Prime Minister?
Much, much, more immigration. Especially the immigration of non-skilled workers.
He didn’t want to tell you about this. But, as luck would have it, it all leaked out.
Corbyn’s advisers have been drawing up a plan to REMOVE barriers stopping unskilled workers from coming here. And undercutting the wages of British workers.
He’s also got a plan to make it easier for the wives of people from beyond the EU to come here. At the moment they can come only if they can prove they won’t be a burden on the state.
Corbyn’s team has decided to scrap that requirement. Now you can come no matter how much of a burden you might be. Come on in! All of you!
Corbyn didn’t deny it. He couldn’t, because it was fact.
And he has all this planned because, like Diane and John, he cannot abide the British state. He hates it.
He’s an internationalist.
Doesn’t think we should have borders.
Or fight for what we believe in as a nation.
Could be Prime Minister a week from today. God help us all.
Zookeeper mauled to death by Hamerton Zoo tiger
AN horrific story. Rosa King, a zookeeper, mauled to death by a tiger at Hamerton Zoo in Cambridgeshire.
You just hope it might make us all ask a few questions about our zoos. There seem to be more and more of them.
Wild animals shoved into enclosures so small they’re bored out of their brainboxes.
We tell ourselves the animals are happy. I wouldn’t be so sure.
Indians join bird brained
THE Indian authorities have arrested a pigeon and accused it of spying.
The bird was detained near Kashmir. It had a tag on its leg containing Chinese writing.
I assume it is now being interrogated and being subjected to water-boarding or something.
“Spill the beans – you evil Chinese feathered b*****d!”
It will undoubtedly later appear in a samosa.
The Indians regularly arrest pigeons. Recently they found a bird with Urdu writing on its leg and shoved it in a cage.
But when a senior policeman opened the cage to examine the bird it escaped and flew back to Pakistan, laughing its head off.
The Indians are not alone – foreigners often accuse members of the animal kingdom of spying.
The Saudi Arabians and Lebanese have both apprehended griffon vultures, believing them to be Israeli agents.
And in 2010 the Egyptians thought that a shark which kept eating tourists had been programmed by Mossad.
Heidi Klum looks great in her mid-40s
JUST how depressed were you, looking at those photos of Heidi Klum in yesterday’s Sun?
It should be against the law to look that good when you’re in your mid-40s.
Ex-hubby Seal was punching well above his weight, don’t you think?
Justice? Stone me
I ALWAYS like to keep you informed of the latest goings on in the world’s great, go-ahead, modern and vibrant Islamic states.
So, to Pakistan, then. A 19-year-old woman was raped at gunpoint by her cousin.
And a local court has decided she should be stoned to death.
The magistrates who made the decision included the rapist’s father.
They decided the rapist should suffer no punishment at all.
Onwards and upwards with Allah!
Congratulations to the happy couple?
HUGE congratulations to San Diego woman Carol Santa Fe on the occasion of her first wedding anniversary.
She posed happily, in a pink onesie, hugging her hubby. Her husband is Santa Fe railway station. A very large building in California.
Mrs Santa Fe, says she has loved it since she was nine years old and has sex with it “in her mind”.
Yes, I’d keep it that way, love. Try it out for real and you’ll be hobbling around for months.
I suspect stations might chafe a little.
Mrs Railway Station is just the latest in a line of women who have got themselves involved in a bizarre and unnatural union.
There’s British woman Emma McCabe who married a poplar tree called “Tim”. And another American, Erika Eiffel – yes, yes, you’ve got it.
And of course Celia Walden, who married Piers Morgan.
Farwell John Noakes
SO, farewell, John Noakes, rest in peace.
I adored the Blue Peter presenter when I was a young kid.
One by one we lose the stars we grew up with, as time marches onwards.
It marked a definite change in my, er, youthful priorities, when I switched from watching John Noakes in Blue Peter – to Sally James in Pop Quest.
B****es On Tour
IT harsh, don’t you think?
Eighteen women on a hen party were kicked off a flight for wearing T-shirts which read: B****es On Tour.
Hell, at least everyone knew what they were in for.
Maybe all airline passengers should wear T-shirts identifying their key characteristics.
“Shrieking Spoiled Brat”, “Selfish Old Cow Who’ll Put Her Seat Back Into Your Nose” and “Violent Drunken Chav From Chatham”.
Oh, and of course – “Jihadi With Four Pounds Of Semtex In His Laptop, Inshallah.”
Cuts cut teen sex
FOR years I’ve worried that bombarding young kids with sex education is a bad idea.
Children as young as five being told about transgenderism. Infant school kids being taught about contraceptives.
Now a new study by two universities suggest I was dead right.
They found out that in areas where there were large cuts to the sex education budgets, the FEWER teen pregnancies there were.
And the bigger the cuts were, the sharper the drop in teen pregnancies.
So howzabout we cut the budget ENTIRELY?