Guests at Pippa Middleton’s wedding bash squirm as best man turns air blue with bawdy jokes
PIPPA Middleton’s wedding bash was turned blue by bawdy jokes from the best man — including one about the groom going to Bangor for two weeks.
Justin Johannson left around 300 posh guests, including Pippa’s sister Kate and Prince William — squirming at his racy routine.
One gag suggested groom James Matthews’ TV star brother Spencer had given clues over their honeymoon.
Justin went on: “With the wedding shrouded in secrecy, I would like to reveal and wish the bride and groom a wonderful honeymoon in North Wales.
“At least that’s where I presume they’re going, since I overheard Spencer saying that James will be, after the wedding, going to Bangor for two weeks. Enjoy the Welsh coast, guys.”
Another wisecrack involved Pippa and her new hubby’s pet dog Rafa.
The best man said: “Now, to the love of James’s life. Beautiful, energetic, loyal, soft mouth, comes on command, great behind — that’s enough about James’s spaniel Rafa.”
However, the quip fell flat and the crowd at the Middletons’ £6million mansion in Bucklebury, Berks, looked on in stony silence.
One told The Sun: “It was a bit full-on for the crowd we had there. Thankfully, some of the older ones didn’t know what he meant.”
The best man, who has known James for ten years, also took the mickey out of his pal’s dancing skills.
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And he read out a message from dance tutors who had trained the financier ahead of his big day.
It said: “We really enjoyed seeing you and how you mastered interpretive dance.
“Good luck with the first dance. Don’t forget the buttock-clenching on the star jump.”
There was also a swipe at James’s Northern heritage as Justin recited the famed “Yorkshireman’s Motto”.
Putting on a thick Yorkshire accent, he said: “’Ear all, see all, say nowt. Eyt all, sup all, pay nowt.”
The bash began at 8pm, with most guests having to provide photos and passwords for security clearance before arrival.
They were herded through a village hall to be checked by security officers and to be handed a pass to the party.
Royal protection officers and armed police patrolled the estate perimeter and guarded entrances to the venue all night.
Meanwhile, a Spitfire performed a spectacular flypast.
Inside, tennis ace Roger Federer, 35, wowed the shindig by joining in a Middletons against Matthews family ping-pong tournament.
Dinner came at around 9pm, with speeches two hours later. After the last one at midnight, Justin and
James performed a choreographed interpretative dance with star jumps, replacing the traditional newlyweds’ first dance.
And their moves went down far better than some of Justin’s jokes, drawing wolf-whistles, laughter and applause.
Revellers then partied along to music and a live band until 4am.
Earlier in the day, they had enjoyed a far more sedate champagne reception at nearby Englefield House.
Spencer, 27, and Pippa’s brother James Middleton, 30, gave speeches. And guests tucked into 20 different types of canapé, including small portions of haggis, king prawns and steak and chips while a jazz band played.
The bride’s dad Michael, 67, spoke of his pride as he bemoaned losing Pippa and sister Kate — but said they had gone to great husbands.
Yesterday morning, bleary-eyed Spencer — barred from taking along TV star girlfriend Vogue Williams, 31 — was seen clutching a can of beer in the sun at his hotel before he set off home.
He said: “For now, we’ll all just enjoy it. I made a speech yesterday. As far as I’m aware it went fine.”
Saturday’s wedding of the year saw 200 guests descend on St Mark’s Church in Englefield, Berks. Prince George, three — whom mum Kate, 35, ticked off for blubbing — was a pageboy. And his sister Princess Charlotte, two, was a bridesmaid.
Kate read a prayer while brother James read the aptly named Love is an Adventure by Pierre Tielhard du Chardin.
Meanwhile, Spencer read a passage from Paulo Coelho novel The Alchemist.
