Sun doc supports plans to let carers take a year off relatives after she was unable to look after her dying mum

MY mother had to go into hospital one last time.

There followed two months of agony, when she’d howl in pain just from being moved by the nurses.

For me, there was a lot of going back and forth and I was always on the phone — but it was just not enough.

It was so terrible seeing and hearing her suffer but not being able to be with her as much as I wanted to.

Theresa May’s proposal that workers are given a legal right to take a year’s leave from their job to care for ailing and elderly relatives is not a cure-all for this complex problem — but it is a great start.

More than six million people are acting as unpaid carers for loved ones for up to 50 hours a week.

And dealing with the decline of older relatives’ health is an unavoidable tragedy for almost all of us.

Similarly to women returning to work after taking maternity leave, this proposed legislation would mean carers’ jobs are protected even after significant time off — between 13 to 52 weeks — although they would not be paid.

I have some sympathy for the employers who might find this incredibly difficult to implement, but it would be so positive for employees and their families if they can make it happen.

For many people struggling to care for elderly parents while keeping a job, you are forced to appear as though everything is fine when, in reality, you are paddling like crazy underwater to juggle work and family life.

It’s this huge facade to put on, as well as a real toll on your own physical and mental health.

I should know.

I really struggled to be with and care for my mother before she passed away in February 2014, after two years of suffering and being seriously ill with a variety of common old-age problems. These included osteoporosis and complications from surgery.

Although she had always been healthy and active, in old age her bones became so fragile they constantly fractured.

Once she broke four ribs when she simply knocked into a door by accident. And as she got older things got worse.

After an operation that should have been straightforward she had to have a five-month stay in hospital — where she also contracted and then had to recover from infections including MRSA and C.Diff.

She was then able to go home with the help of a great doctor and team of professional carers.

However, as any child of an ailing or ageing parent will know, it is a precarious situation that at any point can take a turn for the worse.

Day to day you might be just about managing, but with the elderly there’s often a crisis point where that carefully constructed coping arrangement just falls apart.

That’s why this proposal by the PM is so important: Carers’ main stress comes from being torn between having to work and care for their sick relative at the same time. For many it is an impossible task.

I recall one occasion, after my mother had been getting by at home with help, when she was rushed into hospital out of the blue.

Getting leave from my work as a GP that week felt virtually impossible.

While my employer at the time was emotionally supportive, when push came to shove the practical help I needed — such as flexibility and the ability to take the time off instantly — was just not there.

As my parents also divorced when I was five and I am an only child, the bulk of responsibility for my mother’s care also fell largely to me.

Luckily I have a really lovely aunt — my mother’s sister — who was able to do a lot.

But that situation, struggling to cope with an elderly parent alone, is not unusual.

Lots of people are completely on their own.
Many people in the same situation are even forced to resign from jobs to cope.

This legislation would force employers to start taking their employees’ problems seriously.

Companies need to step up and get into the 21st century, employers should be part of the solution, not the problem.

After all, employees give the best years of their lives to their jobs.