After registering Harper’s name for commercial rights, the Beckhams have branded themselves as greedy
I’M baffled by the idea of turning your child into a “trademark” like Pepsi or Toilet Duck, but that’s what the Beckhams have apparently done to their five-year-old daughter Harper.
Victoria has registered her small child’s name for commercial use with intellectual property authorities in Britain and Europe.
They actually must have sat down and agreed on the long list of products their daughter could promote, which we are told include, oddly, aromatherapy oils, wrapping paper, pencil sharpeners, golf umbrellas and anti-wrinkle cream.
Let’s just pause for a minute and remember that this little kid is just FIVE.
And even in the loopy, la-la, celebrity showbiz bubble, Harper, is not someone who would encourage me to buy anti-ageing products, a big, lurid umbrella or a dolly, now or ever.
According to the experts, this commercially minded action for such a young child is unprecedented, but it’s the world that “Brand Beckham” have chosen to inhabit.
Their sons Brooklyn Beckham, 18, Romeo Beckham, 14, and Cruz Beckham, 12, are similarly registered.
We are told it’s all about protecting their future interests — as well as making sure they bring in wheelbarrows full of cash by exploiting the Beckham name.
I do not doubt for a second that Victoria and David love their children dearly.
And I understand the move probably makes business sense.
But to the outside world these actions seem cold and calculating.
If the Beckham kids are growing up knowing they are expected to be a commodity like soap powder and to use their names to sell goods, surely this means they are on display 24 hours a day.
Their lives will be like a Kardashian TV reality show.
They could end up bouncing from one ad shoot to another, making personal appearances and spending hours promoting themselves on social media.
And all of this merely because their parents are famous, not because of their own talents and achievements.
Victoria and David can never ever complain about media intrusion, because they have basically invaded not only their own privacy, but that of all their children.
It’s a shame, because there is an awful lot to admire about this high-profile couple.
By her own admission, Victoria wasn’t the greatest singer or dancer, but through sheer hard graft she became a member of the most successful girlband of all time.
When the Spice Girls split she gritted her teeth, ignored the carping and is now a hugely successful fashion designer. To be accepted in that world takes real talent and tenacity.
David’s football skills, good looks and affability have made him a global superstar.
He comes across as a decent bloke and a terrific dad, although his halo was tarnished by those leaked emails where he showed his annoyance at not being knighted.
Yet he has bounced back and is as popular as ever.
I’m always astounded though, that incredibly rich and successful people such as the Beckhams would actually choose to spend time in stuffy rooms with dull lawyers talking about commercial law.
They could be cavorting on a beach somewhere or wafting around on their yacht, drinking ice-cold Champagne and guzzling lobsters instead of shlepping from airport to airport flogging clothes, perfume and handbags.
We all want our kids to be successful, but money isn’t everything.
Seeing your kids happy and settled in a loving relationship is way more important.
I’m certain that’s what Posh and Becks want for their children too, but right now that’s not really coming across.
I don’t begrudge anyone making a crust, but you have to wonder how much cash the Beckhams actually need.
David puts fun factor into Britain's Got Talent
YOU sense the variety acts on Britain’s Got Talent simply want to have a bit of fun, meet Ant and Dec and have their photos taken with Simon, David, Alesha and Amanda.
The expectations of these contestants are much more sensible and down-to-earth than those of the X Factor, who all want to be the next Beyonce or Ed Sheeran.
BGT hopefuls can make a good living doing theatre, panto and shows on the cruise ships and end up having more longevity than the starry-eyed X Factor cannon fodder who are often unceremoniously dumped after their first album.
It makes for a far more fun-filled show for us to watch and some truly jaw-dropping speciality act, such as synchronised swimmers and knife throwers.
David Walliams told me this week, ahead of the new series which starts tonight, that the judges have no idea who or what is going to appear on stage in front of them.
All their reactions are completely genuine and off the cuff. David is one of the many reasons to watch and enjoy the show.
He is probably the only person on the planet who can be cheeky to Simon Cowell and get away with it – with the exception of Simon’s little son Eric.
Tonight we will see David being given an unexpected present by one act – and I reckon the nation will be gripped by the new craze of dog yoga.
I would advise all pooches to run and hide.
BGT, tonight, ITV, 8pm.
We must halt gay purge
DISTURBING news coming from the Russian southern republic of Chechnya, where there are reports of citizens being tortured and killed simply because they happen to be gay.
The government has been imprisoning men in a grim “concentration camp”. It is all reminiscent of Nazi Germany and it chills the blood. Can you imagine the fear of the vulnerable there?
The authorities have denied accusations of torture and killings, claiming, with a twisted logic, that as there aren’t any gay people in Chechnya, these outrages cannot be happening.
There is a brave LGBT network trying to help those in danger to escape, as the aim of this hideous regime is to eradicate every single LGBT citizen.
We need to start making a lot of noise.
If the Chechens are allowed to get away with this, how long do you think it will be before their vile homophobia spreads to other Russian satellites, then to Moscow.
While things have changed for the better for the LGBT community in the UK, we shouldn’t forget that in my lifetime you could be locked up because you loved someone of the same sex.
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The most appalling homophobia also still exists in other parts of the world, including most of the Middle East and huge swathes of Africa.
We must not forget that in Florida last June, a lone gunman murdered 49 people in a club and the victims were targeted because they were at a gay venue.
It’s not just in God-forsaken hellholes where the LGBT community is in danger.
We might like to think that the battle for equality has been won, but in reality we have a very long way to go.
I can't wait to do my Duty
I AM counting down the hours until tomorrow night’s Line Of Duty.
In an age when we are full of impatience and can download Netflix and Amazon and binge-watch our favourite shows until our eyeballs dissolve, it is frustrating that we have to wait a whole seven days to find out what happens next.
Especially when every episode has a superbly crafted cliffhanger that makes you jump to your feet and run round your living room shouting: “Noooooooooo.”
In a way, perhaps it’s the anticipation that makes it all even more worthwhile.
I have been thinking about last Sunday’s episode all week and wondering whether they have had the audacity to kill off one of the main characters.
They’ve done it before. It messes with your head.
And that’s why this show, starring Thandie Newton as DCI Roz Huntley is so damned good.
Line of Duty, tomorrow, BBC1, 9pm.