Keir Starmer thinks the state should own and run farms – look how well it runs the NHS
PIERS MORGAN recently went on YouTube with an American God-botherer called Carlson Tucker, who I seem to recall was recently cancelled for something or other. Getting a pronoun wrong probably.
Anyway, after a wide-ranging discussion, they wondered out loud why the British government has suddenly decided to attack farmers. And the upshot is: they didn’t know.
I do though.
After the war, leaders in the Western world realised that the single most important thing was making sure that everyone could afford to eat.
That’s why farmers were given subsidies and grants.
Because if people were asked to pay what it actually costs to grow carrots and lambs and so on, the lowest-paid in society would starve.
But that was a long time ago and people like Keir Starmer and Rachel Reeves have forgotten.
They simply don’t realise that the food we buy is affordable only because of this government help.
We see the same problems in Germany, Holland, Denmark and America as well.
Townie politicians who think that growing a carrot or a sheep is easy and that farmers are just being greedy.
But there’s an added problem in the UK because most of the leading lights in the Labour Party began their adult life as Marxists.
Starmer certainly did. Which means it’s ingrained in his DNA that property is theft.
He thinks the government should own and run everything. Especially the land.
But to achieve that, he’s got to ethnically cleanse the people running it now: the farmers.
Which is why Rachel From Accounts dreamed up her idiotic family farm tax in the last Budget.
Brilliant. With the farmers gone, there will be no more cows and Ed Miliband will be free to turn the countryside into a giant solar park.
If you are an eco-vegan Marxist as well, you probably love the idea of this: a state-owned countryside.
But why? Because so far as I can tell, nothing run by the Government ever works properly.
We have soldiers in bullet-proof vests that aren’t bullet-proof, we’ve got submarines that run out of food while on patrol, we’ve got an NHS that doesn’t function at all, potholes in every road, schools that are falling over, a police service that’s only bothered about crimes involving hate speech, a Border Force which exists only to give illegal immigrants biscuits, a new railway line from London to Manchester that won’t ever be finished, and Hammersmith Bridge in London which will never be mended.
Literally, everything they ever do is useless.
Of course you have people saying that if taxes were higher, all this would be solved.
But I’m sorry, we already pay taxes on everything we earn and on everything we buy and every time we go anywhere or do anything. We are already massively over-taxed.
And if by some miracle, we are left with a bit in the bank when we die, the Government says they want that too.
That’s wrong and it’s especially wrong for farmers, because the only possible way their children could pay the tax is by selling the farm.
And who will grow our food then?
KEIR'S STRIFE COACH
STARMER is the gift that keeps on giving.
Not if you are a plumber obviously or a pensioner or anything really.
But if you are a newspaper columnist, he’s an endless source of material. His hair. Spectacles. Everything.
And now it turns out that he’s had voice coaching lessons.
You wouldn’t know by listening to the adenoidal noise that comes out of his face when he speaks but he has. And one of the lessons was on Christmas Eve in 2020.
Some people are cross about this because it was the Christmas of Covid, but all that lockdown nonsense is ancient history now, so it doesn’t bother me.
What does bother me is that Christmas Eve for normal people is spent wrapping presents with your wife and children, and drinking some wine and putting baubles on the tree.
Starmer tells us that he was actually working hard in his office on the forthcoming Brexit deal, and that’s probably true.
But either way, he was busy, either wrapping presents or working.
So why on Earth did he decide to call his voice coach and ask her to come through the plague of Covid all the way from Brighton to London?
A wonky voice isn’t like a heart attack. It’s never an emergency and even if it was for some reason, why couldn’t he have done the lesson on Zoom?
Why did he need to be in the room with her?
Most odd.
It’s Back In Penny Black…and Brian’s worth it
BRITISH stamps feature a picture of the King’s head. The end.
Er, no actually, because the Royal Mail has just announced that the King will soon be replaced for a limited time with Brian Johnson out of AC/DC.
I haven’t bought a stamp in years, but I’m tempted to spend a couple of quid on one of those. Because Brian’s one of absolute nicest people in rock and roll.
WORTH A STAB
THERE have been calls this week to ban the sale of knives with pointy tips.
Hmmm. In a bid to cut knife crime, they did this in France in the 17th Century and what happened when they’d finished and all the knives had rounded ends?
Someone invented the fork which, if you think about it, is just as lethal.
Surely, if you want to get knives off the street, and we all do, why not make them uncool.
Allow them to be sold only if they have a Barbie-pink handle bearing the message “I have a small penis”.
JET OFF TO GAZA ON SEA
MR TRUMP got a lot of stick this week for suggesting that one day, Gaza could be the new Mediterranean riviera, a holiday hotspot.
Madness? Well, if you assess the situation today, you’d have to say yes.
But think about it. What if someone had told you in 1974 that one day, people would take their gap years in Cambodia, or have luxury holidays in Vietnam?
As recently as the Nineties, Croatia was a war-torn hellhole.
And now it isn’t any more.
Time moves on, so one day in the not-too-distant future, it’s very possible you’ll be saying to your kids: “Shall we go on holiday to Palestine this year? Or Kabul?”
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