“A LOT of nice, well-meaning people are quivering like smacked blancmanges at the idea of a new Trump presidency, I am not quite sure why they are so alarmed,” Boris Johnson tells me.
“When you look back at Trump’s last term in office there is little doubt the world felt safer and calmer and more stable.”
But alarmed they are, and using ever more alarming methods of lawfare, as Joe Biden’s doddery grip on the Presidency weakens.
If Donald Trump does make a shock return in November it won’t be the legions of Make America Great Again red cap-wearing devotees from the forgotten parts of the States who he will have to thank.
Nor will it be some sordid Russian conspiracy, and nor the crazed QAnon cultists.
No, the first people Trump should thank are the partisan lawyers who have spent every day since he was ungraciously heaved from the White House trying to lock him up or bankrupt him — and for good measure keep him off the ballot.
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‘Why should US subsidise European security?’
You have to wonder how the land of the free can lecture the less-free world about fair elections when they are trying to ban a popular opposition leader from taking part.
If that sounds like something out of Russia or Venezuela, it’s because that is exactly what it is.
And what’s more, it’s not working. Trump is consistently hovering above Biden in the vital swing-state polls.
While the liberal left, the EU, BBC and assorted internet chin-strokers are having a collective breakdown about the prospect of Trump 2.0, others say it is time to get on board.
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“Right now much of the world is craving the stability that goes with strong and decisive American leadership,” BoJo argues.
Thoughts echoed by his short-lived successor Liz Truss, who tells me: “The USA under Biden has projected weakness.
“We need a Republican back in the White House who is prepared to take on the leftist global establishment.”
With Trump now within an ace of locking up the Republican nomination — possibly as soon as Saturday’s South Carolina primary — you have two former British PMs all but endorsing him.
Truss is in DC this week partly to promote her new doomsday tome Ten Years To Save The West.
But she is sharing a billing with Trump at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC), an annual jamboree for the American right.
Crucially, the backing now comes after the latest round of Trumpism — a return to his pet peeve of European countries falling short on Nato payments.
The saying goes that Trump supporters take what he says seriously but not literally, while his haters take what he says literally but not seriously.
So while his jibe that he would encourage Putin to attack those countries which don’t pony up fell flat, no one is really disputing that he has a point.
Why should America subsidise European security while the likes of France, Germany, Spain and Italy scrimp at a time of war on the continent?
It’s not lost on the likely next Nato Secretary General, outgoing Dutch PM Mark Rutte, who warned last week: “We should stop moaning and whining and nagging about Trump.”
In an increasingly dangerous world, the case for Trump 2.0 is being made. But is Britain ready for it?
Foreign Office sorts assure me all the usual steps are being made by the Embassy to get to know the key players in Trumpland.
But with Republican politicians openly telling our Foreign Secretary to “kiss their ass” after Lord Cameron compared them to Nazi appeasers, there is clearly work to be done.
And frankly, what’s happening in Labour is far more important.
If you thought the image of wincing Theresa May gripping Trump’s hand was awkward, wait until you see him meet Sir Keir Starmer.
So what is Keir doing? Well, nothing actually.
I can reveal the man most likely to be Britain’s next PM has made no attempt to speak to America’s likely next President. Zilch.
Cosy WhatsApp chats with Biden’s team and walking in lockstep with the Democrats are more Keir’s comfort zone, but need a reality check.
The Labour leader is plotting a visit here in the spring but currently has made zero attempt to meet Trump.
At CPAC, Trump fan Nigel Farage tells me: “My big fear is that some very senior Labour figures have been so hostile towards Trump and that is going to make relations very, very difficult.”
He adds: “Defence and security are becoming just about the most important things politically for the next five years.
“So Labour must think very, very hard in the national interest about what they are going to do with an incoming Trump administration.
“And right at the moment, I think they are ignoring it.”
Given the huge debate that is going on around European defence and Nato, it is crucial that an incoming Labour government must have the right person in Washington
Nigel Farage
Tentative approaches to Republicans have been made by Shadow Foreign Secretary David Lammy to meet key players in the Trump orbit, most recently possible VP Mike Pompeo.
But Farage adds: “Lammy has made some really unfortunate comments about Trump, and they may not like the guy . . .
“But if we really think that our future defence and security is going to be served by the EU and not America, frankly we need our heads tested.”
Lammy’s defenders point out that Lord Cameron once called Trump “protectionist, xenophobic, misogynistic”, and insist respectful overtures are being made.
But the rap sheet is long.
Lammy called Trump a “far-right extremist” who “supports Neo Nazis, KKK and other racists”.
And in comments somewhat beneath an aspiring Foreign Secretary he once tweeted: “All that comes out of his mouth is utter pooh.”
But Nige has a solution: “Given the huge debate that is going on around European defence and Nato, it is crucial that an incoming Labour government must have the right person in Washington.
“You’ve got to have someone who can actually walk into the Oval Office and talk face to face with a President Trump.”
Whoever could he have in mind?
“Half-jokingly, I could say me, but I can’t see them ever appointing me,” he says.
“But I would be ideal for it. I would be, I am being serious, I would be. But they need to think very hard.”
While Farage as Starmer’s man in Washington may seem far-fetched, Trump and Starmer victories are looking increasingly likely.
Surely it’s time for Starmer to hold their nose — and start reaching out.
SOME argue that another Trump Presidency would be a shot in the arm . . . but is his 20lb weight loss a result of his own jabs?
Rumours that it is down to appetite suppressant Ozempic continue to dog slimmed-down Don, despite denials.
That could only be bad news for the McDonald’s share price.
His own son, Don Jr, once said: “No one probably eats more of it, per capita, than Donald Trump.”
The ex-Prez’s go-to order?
Big Mac, Filet-o-Fish, fries and a vanilla shake.
BIDEN’S OBAMA DRAMA?
AS geriatric Joe Biden stumbles and mumbles, senior Democrats could strike as late as mid-August to dash his hopes of a second term.
The party will gather in Chicago on August 19 to formally nominate their candidate.
Though no viable challenger has yet to put their hat in the ring, Vice President Kamala Harris is dropping hints she is ready to lead.
With polls neck and neck, Democrat operatives in DC tell me they will leave it as late as possible to wait and see.
Not just to avoid the President becoming a lame duck but to maximise the Democrats’ chances of keeping control of the Senate in November.
That would be too late for a primary process, so Biden would have to be convinced to release his delegates on the eve of the Chicago gathering – but plots are active.
Possible names floating around include Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer, California Governor Gavin Newsom and bookies tell me there is a growing market in DC for . . . Michelle Obama.
NIGEL Farage has defended Trump’s controversial comments calling for Putin to attack Nato allies who don’t pay their way.
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They’re “being willfully used by those who want to build European defence”, says Nige.
“There are even calls now within Europe for the EU to have its own nuclear deterrent, which is insane.”