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CLEMMIE MOODIE

Our nation’s shoplifting epidemic is at an all time high – here’s how we can stop it

OVER the weekend, browsing aisle four of Waitrose, the smartly dressed woman beside me casually picked up an organic (large) avocado, squeezed it and popped it in her handbag.

A few minutes later, she breezily walked out.

Our nation’s shoplifting epidemic is at an all-time high
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Our nation’s shoplifting epidemic is at an all-time highCredit: Alamy
It’s effecting all demographics, all walks of life
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It’s effecting all demographics, all walks of lifeCredit: Alamy

Obviously I did absolutely nothing, besides watch on in slightly mute horror/shock.

But this, ladies and gentlemen, is where we are at the back end of 2023.

Our nation’s shoplifting epidemic is at an all-time high, and it’s effecting all demographics, all walks of life.

No one is too posh to pick-up a sweet potato or a nice Provence bottle of rosé, and whisk it over the threshold.

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“Crime doesn’t pay” is the proverb we all grew up on.

Except, now, it does — and it’s the law-abiding taxpayer footing the rocketing bill.

New stats show nearly a billion pounds-worth of goods have been nicked from supermarkets and local neighbourhood stores.

The more that gets stolen, the more chains are forced to further up their prices.

It’s Catch 22 — or not catch, as it turns out.

My neighbour, who works in the said Waitrose, says the branch is losing £2k from people taking what they feel is rightfully theirs.

Much of it is booze, and lots gets sold on.

The Government is handcuffed (unlike those stealing), with shoplifting fuelled by the cost of living crisis and grocery inflation.

Starving your subjects then cracking down on them for trying to eat baked beans isn’t exactly a good look.

Similarly, Labour’s take — get more bobbies on the beat — is idealistic nonsense. We’d need about 250,000 policemen and women to man each store in the country.

Despite being one of the most watched societies in the world — a man got captured on CCTV being hit by a pigeon last week — people are still brazenly flouting the rules.

Because they can.

Because career criminals, largely driving this epidemic, know they’ll get a rap on the knuckles and then walk away.

So what’s the answer?

Well, perhaps if supermarkets stopped prioritising profits and machines over basic customer service, that would be a start.

Lacking in remorse

During Covid, a trip to the meat counter proved a veritable daily treat (that, and an hour’s walk in the park, if you were lucky enough to live near greenery).

As a result, shop profits soared while we deflated.

Last April, Tesco revealed its annual profits more than tripled thanks to rising sales and lower costs related to the pandemic.

And a report by Oxfam showed major European and American supermarkets lavished their Coronavirus-related profits on shareholders instead of helping their frontline workers, or providing better terms to farmers.

Sure, the cost of living crisis has hit everyone. There is no easy solution.

But now, surely, is the time for the big firms to give back a bit.

Offer actual humans jobs, instead of replacing us with robots and electronic self checkouts.

Bodies on the shop floor, manning the tills, and employ extra security staff.

And, finally, crack down, properly, on career criminals, many of whom are violent, callous and utterly lacking in remorse.

Stolen avocados aren’t the problem here, our unwillingness to go back to basics is.

Give Brook a break

THE critics’ knives have been out for poor Brooklyn Beckham once again.

The eldest son of David and Victoria, trying to make a fist out of cooking for a living, was lambasted for monetising his Instagram account.

Brooklyn Beckham was lambasted for monetising his Instagram account
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Brooklyn Beckham was lambasted for monetising his Instagram accountCredit: Instagram/@brooklynpeltzbeckham
He filmed himself baking a cake using avocado oil, part of a sponsorship deal with a brand called Chosen Foods
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He filmed himself baking a cake using avocado oil, part of a sponsorship deal with a brand called Chosen FoodsCredit: Instagram/@brooklynpeltzbeckham
He has been trying to make a fist out of cooking for a living
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He has been trying to make a fist out of cooking for a livingCredit: Instagram/@brooklynpeltzbeckham
Brooklyn eats some of his cake
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Brooklyn eats some of his cakeCredit: Instagram/@brooklynpeltzbeckham
If he sponged off his multi-millionaire parents he’d be criticised even more
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If he sponged off his multi-millionaire parents he’d be criticised even moreCredit: Getty

BB filmed himself baking a cake using avocado oil, part of a sponsorship deal with a brand called Chosen Foods.

Give the lad a break.

If he sponged off his multi-millionaire parents he’d be criticised even more; nepobabies just can’t win.


ON Saturday night, Strictly Come Dancing fans saw Angela Rippon wow judges with her high kick.

She is 78 (79 next month). Big. Deal.

Can we please stop acting so shocked when an older woman is capable of, you know, doing things?

Clearly the broadcaster keeps herself fit – and it takes a lot of work, and consistency – to maintain such impressive suppleness.

But (illness/disability aside) fitness in older age should be seen as mandatory, not utterly gobsmacking.


Futile frock costs

FINALLY! Sainsbury’s has launched its first bridal collection, with a wedding dress costing 22 quid – £1,328 cheaper than the average Big Day frock.

Of all the things to spend money on, especially in a cost of living crisis, I’ve never understood the Bridezilla obsession with spending half a year’s salary in eight hours.

Sainsbury’s has launched its first bridal collection
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Sainsbury’s has launched its first bridal collection

Perhaps it’s because I have the sartorial eye of someone lacking a sartorial eye, but I don’t think I’d notice if someone was wearing a pleasant white binbag, or an £8k silk dress.

Save the money for something that matters. Like the buffet.

Police probe wrong

DOZENS of Met police firearms officers are refusing to go out on armed patrols after one of their colleagues was charged with murder.

More than 70 police marksmen said they want time to consider whether or not they wish to still carry a gun given their colleague is having to face court.

It follows the charging of an armed officer, who has only been identified as NX121, with the murder of Chris Kaba in September last year.

This is so wrong, on so many levels.

At a time when public confidence in cops is at an all-time low, and we need more visibility than ever, we need police to be police.

And let them police, free from fear of bureaucracy, endless red tape and judgment.

We need to protect officers just as much as they need to protect us.

Bravo smart Rose

NOW, Das Rheingold at the Royal Opera House is not something I’d necessarily usually cover in this column.

But a special mention to actress Rose Knox-Peebles, 81, who plays the earth goddess in a new production, for responding so brilliantly to a scathing review in the Financial Times.

Opera Das Rheingold at the Royal Opera House
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Opera Das Rheingold at the Royal Opera HouseCredit: Monika Rittershaus/Royal Opera House

The paper’s writer described her as “made up to look quite a fright” to which she, artfully, replied: “I wore no make-up; the fright look is all naturally mine.”

Perfection.


WE are obsessed with the weather.

But are we really this obsessed, BBC?

The BBC employs 22 weather presenters
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The BBC employs 22 weather presentersCredit: BBC

The Beeb reportedly employs 22 – 22! – weather presenters, at licence-payer expense, to tell us the probability of rain.

Which, surely, is a tad excessive?


I’m Vary glum

SPURS were once again done by a controversial VAR decision on Sunday.

By the letter of the law, Cristian Romero’s arm was in the way of an on-target shot and, therefore, an Arsenal penalty was the correct decision. (Urrrgh)

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Arsenal's Gabriel Magalhaes discusses the penalty with Spurs' Cristian Romero
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Arsenal's Gabriel Magalhaes discusses the penalty with Spurs' Cristian RomeroCredit: Getty

But, as Tottenham boss Ange Postecoglou mused: “Unless we start developing armless defenders I don’t know how you are supposed to block things, and be in a natural position.”

Quite. We need a return to common sense.

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