I’m an ex-Playboy Bunny who married Hugh Hefner…he took so much Viagra he went deaf and made me share soup before orgies
A FORMER Playboy bunny has revealed the realities of life behind the walls of the infamous mansion and of her marriage to Hugh Hefner.
Crystal Hefner, who lives in Hawaii, was the third wife of the Playboy founder and was widowed in 2017 when he died at 91.
In a new memoir, the former bunny has detailed their "embarrassing" bedroom romps, her "blow-up sex doll" physique, and 6pm curfews.
The 37-year-old was in the Playoy world for a decade, half of which as Hefner's wife.
Her forthcoming book, Only Say Good Things, will be released in January 2024 and is named after Hefner's instructions to her for when he had died.
While admitting to the that she is "Still Team Hef to a certain degree," the memoir promises to reveal a more realistic depiction of the Playboy boss.
Hefner would dictate a number of things about his wife's appearance from the exact shade of nail polish she should wear to when her roots needed touching up.
According to Crystal pink, pale, sheer nails were Hugh's choice for nails and that matte was never an option.
To gently nudge his wife to get her roots re-done he would simply tap her on the head.
Crystal reminisced on her old Playboy physique saying: "That chest was too big. I looked like a blow-up sex doll from China. My implants were just props, they felt like I was wearing a costume."
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She now dons a much more natural look after ditching her implants and peroxide blond hair.
Crystal also regularly goes make-up-free and barefoot when enjoying her surroundings in Hawaii.
Meanwhile, when staying at the mansion, all bunnies were expected to abide by Hefner's rules.
This included Crystal having a 6pm curfew so she could be at home with Hefner to share his dinner.
The Playboy founder would always have chicken soup with cream cheese and crackers while watching his favorite films.
Following this, Crystal and her husband would participate in group sex which she called "embarrassing.";
"It was embarrassing. I don't know the most people there'd been in our bedroom at one time but - a lot.
"Pretty bad. We were like, 'Oh, now it's your turn.' Nobody really wanted to be there but I think in Hef's mind, he still thought he was in his 40s, and those nights, the people, the mansion, solidified that idea.
"He felt, 'I've still got it.'"
Sundays were special in the Playboy Mansion as there would be regular 'Sunday Fundays' involving around 200 women coming to the mansion.
According to Crystal, on these days, Hefner would be fuelled by so much Viagra that he was deaf in one ear.
"Hef always said he'd rather be deaf and still be able to have sex. Weird," she said.
After becoming his wife in 2012, Crystal believed that their relationship would be more intimate and private.
She said: "There was part of me that always thought if this was real love, there wouldn't be other women in the bedroom.
"I reconciled myself to it by trying to believe that Hef loved me as best he knew how.'
Crystal met her future husband when she was 21 years old and he was 81 as she desperately hoped to find herself a family that wasn't "broken," as she said, and where she felt she could belong.
The psychology student from San Diego couldn't believe her luck when she bagged a ticket to one of Hefner's famed Halloween parties.
The annual event has been a staple in many A-lister's calendars including Leonardo DiCaprio, Pamela Anderson, and Brad Pitt.
Hefner and Crystal got together that evening and she said: "It was immediate, right away, it's what was expected," and she moved in.
However, Hefner's widow has revealed that their first night together was "unremarkable."
She added: "Whatever you would like, whatever you would think, or however you want a night to go, well, it wasn't that."
Speaking about the age gap, which fascinated onlookers, Crystal admitted: "If that was my daughter now - it wouldn't happen.
"All I can say is that if you came from a happy, perfect, loving childhood, you don't usually end up with someone who was already 60 years old by the time you are born.
"I look back and I feel sorry for that girl."
Despite this, Crystal refuses to be ashamed of her decisions or live with regret.
She explained: "When your family is broken you feel like you don't really belong anywhere.
"You depend on the kindness of others and you make yourself small to try to fit in. You have no power. Then I met Hef.
"He lived how the other half lives. You feel, 'Wow, I could belong here too.' At first, the Playboy Mansion felt like a sanctuary. It wasn't.
"But then you either abide by it or you leave, and I didn't feel like I had anywhere else to go or that I could make anything of myself."
After moving to Hawaii, Crystal wrote her book and began constructing a more ordinary life.
She has returned to her passion for psychology and vowed to revert to her maiden name to become Dr. Crystal Harris, PhD, if she gets her doctorate.
"If I get that, it's over. Bye," she said of the Hefner name and identity as a Playboy bunny.
Crystal hopes to re-marry someone closer to her in age and to become a mother after freezing her eggs.
Speaking of Hefner's death, she said: "You can't fault his timing. He dipped out right on time."
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"Hef's lifespan of 91 years, it ended on the cusp of #MeToo. Coincidence? I think not."
Only Say Good Things: Surviving Playboy And Finding Myself is available for pre-order at onlysaygoodthings.com.
