If you want a job done well, hire a working mum – but they need more flexible hours
The Sun columnist is fed up with sexist stereotypes forcing busy women to juggle home and work lives with no flexibility
THEY say, “If you want something done, ask a busy person”.
Well, my version of that is: “If you want something done, ask a working mum”. Because working mums are nothing short of incredible.
Women who work, if you think about it, are juggling two jobs — one as stressful as the other — and usually doing both brilliantly as they are highly motivated to do their best at work and at home.
The only downside, of course, is the guilt that, annoyingly, seems to be part of the package.
So many working mothers are burdened not only by the stress of paid working, as well as bringing up a family, but also the guilt of being absent at times, in order to be a breadwinner.
Board meeting or nativity play? Board meeting or sports day?
It’s been a constant juggle in my working life.
On top of that, most working mothers will tell you that the last thing on their list is themselves because there is not time to even think about yourself while trying to manage it all.
And often it really does mean managing it all.
A recent survey by Oxfam shows that British women, whether they work or not, still do more of the domestic tasks.
Is anyone else unsurprised to hear that 67 per cent of women feel they do the bulk of housework compared to 18 per cent of men?
I think we try to do it all partly because it’s us who notices when the carpet needs vacuuming or the fridge needs cleaning.
But also some of us, women and men, haven’t grown out of the idea that, traditionally, the domestic realm is “women’s work”.
It’s an ongoing job, actually, for all of us to rethink ourselves into the modern world.
In fact, lots of people could probably do with adjusting their attitude full stop.
There is still stigma attached to women who embody the dreaded word “ambition”.
A man who stays late at the office is dedicated; a woman is selfish. (Your place is at home, isn’t it?).
And this is where employers are missing a serious trick: They need to start offering working mothers flexible hours.
There needs to be a sea change when it comes to the question of flexible working. It is at the heart of what most working mothers need to help them manage both a career and bringing up a family.
I’ve been thinking about this lately because of the number of women I’ve spoken to who have had to leave a job they loved after having children, not because they wanted to stop working but because to carry on in the same model as they had before was not realistic.
And their employer point-blank refused to think flexibly, which is very short-sighted.
In my experience as a mother and an employer, a woman juggling work with family could not be more intent on doing their job to the best of their ability — with knobs on.
Women working flexibly tend to work more and harder than they did before having a family.
One of the women on my board who works from home one day a week, goes above and beyond to do an excellent job.
And yet so many employers seem to be stuck in the dark ages when it comes to flexible work. They seem to think the words are a euphemism for skiving in your pyjamas, pulling a fast one on their boss.
Feeling guilty? Give yourself a break
The old-fashioned, some might say archaic, view is that if someone is not at their desk for ten hours a day then they are not doing a proper job.
The reality is working mothers are often so grateful for the opportunity to work flexibly that they turn up with all guns blazing.
That means levels of productivity, conscientiousness and also employee happiness and satisfaction are all massively boosted.
And that really matters, not least because when people are happier they do a better job and things run more smoothly for you.
So until flexible working becomes the norm for working mothers, I ask that the next time you find yourself feeling guilty, give yourself a break.
I urge you to roll the movie of your life on to when your children are teenagers. What you will see is that, yes, maybe you didn’t drive them to school every morning or to football practice or whatever — but you gave them other strengths.
You showed them how to be independent, that you get what you want if you work hard and that it’s important to have self-respect.
In short, if you go out to work, your kids grow up fine.
Mine are 18 and 20, independent, happy young adults. And that really is in part because of the skills I gave them. So have faith in your ability to be a parent as well as an employee.
And allow yourself to be just a little bit proud of the incredible job you are doing.
See, age is just a number
REALLY love the fact that the new , shot by the photographer Peter Lindbergh, features women of all ages, from Helen Mirren at 71 to Kate Winslet at 41.
But even more amazing is the fact they were all shot with – stop the press – no make-up and no airbrushing.
It’s a shame, in a way, that such a thing is a rarity, but let’s focus on the positives.
By removing any emphasis on youth or the kind of “perfection” that can only be achieved through serious airbrushing or surgery, Pirelli is swimming against the tide – in a good way.
“I wanted to portray women not in terms of their perfection, but through their feelings and emotions,” said Lindbergh.
That’s the difference between this calendar and ones from days gone by, which are normally very much aimed at male gratification.
I love the fact that this year, women are being celebrated for what they do, as opposed to the way they look or what fabulous bodies they have.
There’s no doubt the women in the calendar look more amazing than the average lady, but I think this version is aimed at women – a chance for us to be inspired by some seriously fabulous dames.
The real problem with the Victoria’s Secret show
WHAT a furore around this year’s Victoria’s Secret show, eh?
First the world was up in arms that the models are too thin, then the show was accused of “cultural appropriation” of Chinese culture and even of being racist.
But all I could think when I was looking at the pictures is how uncomfortable it all looked.
Give me a nice pair of M&S knickers over all that complicated strappy stuff any day.
Oh, oh, oh dear, Ayda
IF you’re going to fake orgasms, maybe don’t tell the Loose Women about it if you don’t want your husband to find out.
I’m talking to you, Ayda Field. If you didn’t happen to catch it, she made the admission on the TV show that she sometimes “fakes it” to keep Robbie happy.
When they worried about him finding out, she assured them that he wouldn’t hear as he was waiting in the car to pick her up.
And then who should walk in, having watched it from backstage, but Robbie himself.
His good-natured response – and her hilarity about it – were priceless.
What a great couple they are.
I HAD to laugh reading the story of a motorist who was caught on camera watching pornography while stuck in traffic on the M4.
The phrase “hard shoulder” sprang to mind.
Role on days of fair play
I HEARD Gillian Anderson speaking recently about the disparity in fees for male and female actors.
Men still tend to get more than their female counterparts, which is hard to justify.
But the way to change things is to keep talking about them.
So it was good to read the actress Felicity Jones talking about the same issue in a magazine interview.
She was quoted as saying: “We want to be paid on parity with a man in a similar position . . . now younger actresses will have confidence in those discussions with their agents and be able to say, ‘Can we make sure that I’m being paid the right amount for the work that I’m doing?’ ”
See? The times, they are a changing.