Pundits say Vladimir Putin’s sick, hated or losing… yet he’s still there
SO, what are the Russkis up to? We woke up on Saturday morning to the news that a kind of coup against Vladimir Putin was under way.
Yevgeny Prigozhin, formerly Putin’s Chief Cook and Bottle Washer, was marching his mercenary army on Moscow.
Lines of tanks, being cheered on by ordinary Russians.
Putin’s days were numbered, we were informed. At best he would escape from this humiliation badly damaged.
It was the beginning of the end.
Meanwhile, the gallant Ukrainians could take advantage and regain loads of land from Russia.
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By tea time the narrative had shifted a little. Prigozhin had given in and skedaddled to Belarus.
And he will be lucky if he doesn’t end up glowing like a Belisha beacon.
Putin was still very much in charge. And flinging the missiles about with great gusto.
I don’t doubt that Prigozhin’s march — he got about halfway to Moscow — was seriously bad news for the Russian president.
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But when it comes to reporting the fate of any foreign dictator, a lot of wishful thinking is involved by Western reporters and pundits.
So you have to be a bit sceptical about what you believe.
For example, don’t put too much faith in Prigozhin.
He’s about the only man in Russia more deranged and psychotic than Putin, for a start.
A Russia led by him would be WORSE — for Ukraine and us — than one led by Putin.
Second, his mercenary army would be no match for the Russian army. That coup was never going to work.
But then, we’ve been told continually over the last year and a half that Putin is “weakened”.
He’s gravely ill, virtually on his death bed. He’s got cancer. His hands are shaking — he must have Parkinson’s!
Clear-eyed and resolute
Not only that but everyone hates him!
They’re plotting against him! He has badly miscalculated and the Kremlin wants him out.
And the Ukrainians can bring about his downfall by taking loads of land in their counter-offensive.
If only that were true. Any of it. Because there he is, still in charge.
The Ukrainians haven’t been able to take much land, so far.
Murderous leader
And the Russian public are still very much behind the war and support their awful, murderous leader.
We always do this, of course. It’s only a month or so ago that the BBC was predicting defeat for the horrible Turkish leader, Recep Erdogan, in an election.
Nah, I thought. Not a chance. Wasn’t even very close in the end.
Back in 2016 everyone got very excited when a bunch of Turkish soldiers tried to stage a coup against Erdogan.
Quite why we should support the violent overthrow of a democratically elected leader — even a tosspot like Erdogan — I’m not sure.
But the coup failed and Erdogan is still in charge today, worst luck.
This war in Ukraine is dangerous, bloody and will go on for a very long time.
We need to be clear-eyed and resolute.
Forget all that guff about Putin being weak, or nearly dead. Forget about coups launched against him — it’s not likely to happen.
If it does, terrific — depending upon who takes over, of course. Sometimes it’s better the devil you know.
In the meantime, keep funnelling the weapons to Ukraine and gradually increase our presence.
Keep pushing at the limits on our engagement.
Call Putin’s bluff. Let him know that he can never win the war he started.
GOT to say, it didn’t surprise me to read in The Sun that the North East has the worst drivers in England.
I live in a pretty remote part of the countryside, but every night you can hear the ambulances and the police cars tearing along the A road a few hundred yards away.
It’s almost always some coked-up kid driving too fast and smashing into a lorry.
If we raised the driving age to 25 we would save an awful lot of lives.
One El of an old lot at Glasto
HOPE you enjoyed Elton John at Glasto.
To be honest, if I have to hear that dirge about a candle once more I think I’ll self-harm.
Not to mention bloody Daniel being on his way to Spain.
Thing is, most of the big acts at Glasto had their heyday in the 1970s.
A mate of mine went to Glastonbury in 1977.
He said if the festival had followed the same procedure then, he’d have been watching Gracie Fields, Noel Coward and the Joe Loss Orchestra.
It’s all a bit sad, isn’t it?
P-Rice is not right
I WAS fantasising the other day about what I’d do if I suddenly won £100million.
It’s a pleasant way to pass the time, isn’t it?
But that was before I read Arsenal have offered about that amount for West Ham’s Declan Rice.
I was like WTF? Is this a joke? How deranged has football become when a half-decent midfielder is worth that amount of money?
Maybe, if I won that cash, I should buy Declan.
He could mow the lawn and mend the cistern in the downstairs khazi.
I know I’m speaking as a Millwall fan, but no West Ham player will ever be worth £100million.
IF you’re looking for a Netflix series even more boring than the stuff put out by Harry and Meghan, try Black Mirror.
I watched it so you don’t have to.
The first episode aside, it is preachy, predictable and utterly devoid of humour.
I’m sure I can remember a time when the show’s writer, Charlie Brooker, had a sense of humour. All gone.
Water rip-off
JUST when you thought you couldn’t get stuffed any worse by the cost-of-living crisis, along come the water companies.
We are facing a 40 per cent rise in our water bills.
The useless companies tell us that this is to raise money for repairs.
The repairs might stop them flooding our rivers and beaches with s**t. If we’re lucky.
Do you know what the total profits were for our water companies last year?
A cool £2.8billion. And now they want to shove another 40 per cent on our bills.
The Government should tell them to get stuffed and nationalise the companies.
Supposed “regulation” hasn’t worked. Take them into public ownership.
Quite a coo Mr Pigeon
THE summer solstice may have passed – but the Christmas tree is still standing proudly in Beverley’s high street in East Yorkshire.
The lights are attached, but not turned on. The leaves have turned a deep copper.
The council can’t get rid of the tree because a wood pigeon has nested in it.
And you are not allowed to evict wood pigeons no matter how far behind they are with the rent.
So the tree will stay there, indefinitely.
Anyway, all of this is to let you know that there’s now only 178 shopping days to Christmas.
Argos already has its catalogue out because, as the store says, “It’s never too early to get excited about Christmas”.
Well, ain’t that the truth.
NOW here’s a moral problem. We’re being stitched up good and proper by our energy company.
It continues to charge us way more than we use.
And refuses our demands for a refund or to reduce the direct debit.
So, obviously, we should change companies.
And my wife found a much better deal with the firm Octopus.
But then we saw that they signed off their communications with the words “love and power – the Octopus team”.
That made me want to smash their spectacles and spit on their shoes.
So, do we swap companies and pay less – but have to put up with people who speak like that?
I’m in a quandary, tbh.
Having a mayor
EVERYTHING the Tories touch turns, very quickly, into a big bowl of poo.
It is the mark of a party which is soon going to be out of office.
The latest is its candidate for Mayor of London – Daniel Korski.
He has been accused of groping a woman’s breast.
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He denies it, but not many of his supporters are hanging around to support him.
It’s all a great shame, because Sadiq Khan has been a disastrous mayor – but there’s nobody who could reasonably beat him.