Kim Jong-Un launches new range of sex potions for North Korea’s men and plans to export them around the world
The North Korean dictator even claims that his scientists have developed a cure for cancer and tumours
KIM Jong-Un has ordered his top scientists to develop a new sex potion for North Korean men.
The magic formula is aimed at helping the nation's blokes keep their missiles in working order.
And the chubby despot reckons the medicines could prove a hit in the West after including English, Chinese and Russian instructions.
One is a liquid medicine made from sea urchins.
Its instructions say: “As a tonic it has a good effect on physical and mental fatigue, sexual dysfunction, poor appetite and diarrhoea.”
Another libido boosting drug from Kim’s men in white coats is made from snake extract and is aimed at middle aged blokes who are a let-down between the sheets.
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Not content with helping his nation’s men keep their missiles in working order, Kim’s crack team even claim to have a cure for cancer.
North Korean scientist Ryu Il Nam promised his people: “Cancer is not an incurable disease. We’ll continue to develop efficient anti-cancer drugs to protect human lives.”
Kim’s medics also claim it will cure TB and the skin complaint psoriasis.
They say: “In particular, it is highly efficacious for treatment of psoriasis and resistant tuberculosis and sexual dysfunction manifested in those of middle age or over.”
A third wonder liquid is made from mushrooms soaked in alcohol.
The scientists say: “The solution has fatigue-recovering, sexual function enhancing, tonic, blood-purifying, aging-retarding, stress-easing, anti-inflammation and immune-restoring effects.”
Scientists have also developed a “brain nourishing pill” made from ginseng, soybeans and carrots that helps workers’ productivity and prevents ageing.
The state-owned Pyongyang Times revealed: “Physiologically, man’s desire and ability to work decrease in the afternoon by half their level in the morning.
“But the pill helps replenish them. It even relieves headaches, shoulder pains and sleepiness in the morning after burning the midnight oil. Its effect lasts for about eight hours.
“The medicine made from natural ingredients is favoured by customers and exported to neighbouring countries as it is surprisingly effective in improving concentration, memory, intelligence and business capacity and in treating amnesia.”
And patients suffering from cold sores, toothache, bad breath and bronchitis are being given injections of wild ginger oil to relieve their ailments.
Kim’s scientists have also developed 50 other anti-cancer treatments made from locally found plants like milkweed.
The newspaper added: “The Korea Oriental Medicine Development Centre has developed over 50 anti-cancer medicines that help accelerate immunity function and promote health.
“They are all made from extracts of medicinal materials and do neither addict their users nor produce side effects even if they are used for a long time.”
Boffins even claim to have developed an ointment from plants that dissolves tumours.
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