Sir Keir should brandish green gift with pride… Labour & net-zero zombies are on same recyclable page
AFTER Labour got £1.5million in donations from green fatcat Dale Vince, there are demands the party should distance itself from the eco-zealots and hand back the money.
But why should they? Sir Keir Starmer should brandish the donation from the Ecotricity founder, a major funder of Just Stop Oil, with pride.
“Loadsa eco-money!” Sir Softie should crow, just like a Harry Enfield character of yore, but with impeccably woke credentials.
Because Labour and the net-zero zombies are on EXACTLY the same fully recyclable page.
Both Labour and the traffic-halting extremists of Just Stop Oil believe we should ban future drilling for oil and gas in the North Sea.
Both Labour and Just Stop Oil are relaxed about this country having to rely on that nice Mr Putin to keep the lights on and our economy ticking over.
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Both Labour and Just Stop Oil believe we can totally rely on solar and wind power because — in this perfect world — the sun always shines and the wind always blows. Er, doesn’t it?
Because if the sun doesn’t always shine and the wind doesn’t always blow, then we will need oil and gas for longer than these sanctimonious muppets may wish.
The bitter truth is that both Labour and Just Stop Oil want this country powered by pious, virtue-signalling hot air.
Plug Ed Miliband into the national grid!
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Labour have repeatedly opposed the Government’s Public Order Bill, which would give police fresh powers to remove green goons who decide to stop the traffic, or interrupt a major sporting event, or glue themselves to a painting by Vincent van Gogh.
It is the unthinking arrogance of Just Stop Oil that infuriates millions of us.
Last week the father of an autistic child was prevented from taking his son to school because Just Stop Oil jail decided to stop London traffic.
Labour are legitimising these offensive stunts.
Patriotic optics
Labour are importing the fanatical new green religion into the mainstream of our national life.
So keep the money, Keir! And don’t be too shy about showing the country your true, pukey-green colours.
Starmer’s bid for power is built on plausibility. Keir is not Jeremy Corbyn.
Starmer will not get all misty-eyed about Hamas, Hezbollah and the IRA.
But at least we knew where we stood with Jezza.
Give me Corbyn’s puerile student politics over Starmer’s unthinking green extremism any day of the week.
Starmer is far more dangerous than Corbyn was because he poses proudly in front of a Union Jack and encourages the comrades to warble along to “God Save The King” at the Labour Party conference.
A reasonable man. A nice man.
But behind that bland exterior and those reassuring patriotic optics, Labour are totally signed up to insane green policies that would have our country forever rattling a begging bowl to Russia.
Starmer has, of course, tut-tutted his disapproval about the self-righteous anarchy caused by Just Stop Oil.
But you can take Starmer’s disapproval with a pinch of organic, free-trade salt.
Green zealots are Labour’s bankrollers. A vote for Labour is a vote for relying on Putin to provide our energy.
And if Just Stop Oil really want to protest about the pollution of Planet Earth, they should try chucking around some orange paint in Tiananmen Square, Beijing, China.
Rather than the Chelsea Flower Show.
SO SAD TO SEE PAX GO
TO know pure television fear you need to have had your finger hovering above the buzzer on University Challenge while Jeremy Paxman fixed you with his steely, slightly amused, thousand-yard stare.
“Go ahead, punk,” he seemed to say, like some Oxbridge Dirty Harry as he leaned back in his leather chair. “Make my day.”
Paxo, who has Parkinson’s disease, ended his stint on University Challenge this week after 29 years and 967 shows.
He will be missed – by the BBC, by TV and the country.
I watched that last show with a pang of real sadness, which would definitely have had Paxman snort with derisive laughter.
He is defiantly unsentimental. But he has a heart of pure gold.
I was on the show in the late Nineties when a team from tabloid newspapers, including my colleague Jane Moore, took on a broadsheet team led by Boris Johnson.
We totally annihilated them.
How Paxman smirked!
A RIGHT WAY TO WATCH
THE Champions League Final next weekend will go a long way to establishing where this Manchester City side rank among the greats of English football.
Already confirmed is that City fans have the dumbest celebration ever seen in an English football ground – the Poznan, where supporters link their arms and turn their backs to the pitch.
They have one of the greatest sides ever. Football glory is fleeting. And they look the other way? Make the most of it.
Pep Guardiola will not be there for ever.
EX-Saturdays singer Una Healy has opened up on surviving a “throuple” with David Haye on new release Walk Away.
“What does that rhyme with?” Una asked rhetorically. “David Haye . . . I was like, ‘You know what? I’m out. This isn’t for me. You can have him’.”
Dating site Ashley Madison reports one in ten are gasping to try a throuple.
Which means 90 per cent of us are gagging to avoid a throuple at all costs.
Cannes Alina really have offended Vlad?
UKRAINIAN model Alina Baikova rocked up on the red carpet in Cannes wearing a yellow mini dress with the message, “F*** YOU PUTIN”.
Alina was immediately surrounded by five burly security guards who dragged her away.
I wonder, who exactly are the Cannes Film Festival afraid of offending?
Vladimir Putin? I imagine the twitching old butcher is quite thick-skinned.
EYEBROWS have been raised at Calvin Klein’s new advertising campaign that uses a bearded transgender man and a shamelessly lolling, plus-sized model to advertise their new aspirational undies.
I felt enormous relief to discover the models are called Bappie and Jamilla.
Because for a moment there I thought how rough Mark Wahlberg and Kate Moss are looking these days.
DON’T DO IT, NOEL
PROMOTING his latest High Flying Birds album, Noel Gallagher is quick to dismiss chatter about an Oasis reunion.
Noel is particularly scathing about thick Oasis fans who believe it would somehow warm the cockles of his dear old mum’s heart to see her sons getting their band back together.
“I get strangers coming up to me saying, ‘Be nice to your mum and get back together for her’,” Noel told my colleague Jacqui Swift.
“It’s got nothing to do with my mum. I’m 56, not 17. She knows not to get involved. I wouldn’t say to my mum, ‘It’s time you and Dad got back together’.”
The truth is that an Oasis reunion would be awful.
We never witnessed Oasis growing old, as we did the Rolling Stones.
The band are fixed in our collective memory as young tyros, like the Sex Pistols.
To see Liam and Noel and Bonehead cranking out the old hits as old gits (they’d all be pushing 60, even if it happened soon) would be depressing beyond belief.
That first Oasis album is still the best debut record by any British band.
At their peak, Oasis were one of the all-time greats – with a charismatic frontman, a great songwriter and a sibling rivalry to match The Everly Brothers or The Kinks.
Remember them this way.
THE BIG CHEESE
ONE of my earliest memories is my dad driving us through Dorset as I stared in wonder at the gigantic todger on the Cerne Abbas Giant.
You can understand the consternation of Dorset folk that the Oxford Cheese Company has used the famous fertility symbol – but without his distinguishing feature.
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Now the cheese-maker is promising to restore the famous phallus on “larger cheeses”. But that member is 35ft high!
They are going to need a bigger cheese.