At least we know Boris Johnson won’t put up with b*****ks in Brexit proceedings
In the past few weeks, the no-nonsense Foreign Secretary has managed to upset Italian Foreign Secretary Carlos Calenda, most of Europe's leaders and PM Theresa May
BORIS JOHNSON has been on terrific form in the last week or two.
First, our Foreign Secretary insulted the Italians. This is a hugely important thing to do.
Too often politicians forget the little, but essential, things in life. Such as insulting Italians whenever you get the chance.
Anyway, Boris told the Italian foreign minister that if Britain didn’t have access to EU markets, the Italians would sell a lot less Prosecco.
Carlo Calenda was deeply miffed.
Hell, as an insult, I could think of a lot worse, Signor Year-Planner.
Then our Foreign Secretary appeared on Czech TV. He was asked about free movement of labour within the EU and lectured that it was non–negotiable. How did he reply? “B*****ks!”
In Czech that’s “hovadina!” by the way. Useful if you’re in Prague for a stag weekend.
Anyway, I hope the translator was on the ball. But Bojo was right, again.
And he added: “Everybody now has it in their head that every human being has some fundamental God-given right to move wherever they want. It’s not true.
“That was never the case. That was never a founding principle of the EU. Total myth.”
Exactly right, Boris.
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Better still, he managed to annoy the entire European Union political monkeys by refusing to turn up to their ludicrous “crisis meeting”.
This had been called in the wake of Donald Trump’s victory in the US presidential elections.
The political leaders — liberals all of them (for a while) — were appalled. So the assorted bedwetters called a meeting to discuss What Must Be Done.
Again, precisely right.
Boris does not sign up to the hysterical screeching from the liberals about Trump’s victory. Even if he isn’t totally sold on the idea of Mr Trump.
So, a good week for Boris. But he hasn’t always been supported by his boss, the PM.
Theresa May never misses a chance to have a dig at Boris. She treats him as a joke, a buffoon. She was making quips at his expense only last week. Likening him to a misbehaving dog.
This isn’t good government. For a start, it undermines the authority of arguably the second-most important politician in the country, the Foreign Secretary. And it reveals the Prime Minister as being a bit thin-skinned, autocratic and humourless.
She appointed Boris to his position, but doesn’t like other politicians stealing the limelight. She likes to slap them down.
She did much the same thing with Nigel Farage.
Farage was touting his services around as a possible go-between with Trump’s team.
Nigel knows a lot of the major players and has the confidence of the President-elect. But Theresa May treated his offer with utter contempt.
Lighten up, PM. And give a bit of support where it’s due.
Boris is one of the our most popular politicians. He’s an ally, Theresa, not an enemy.
Don’t try to make divisions where there are none.
Feeling a bit worse for wear, Rooney? England weren't...
HOW to put this? I don’t really want to hurt his feelings. Especially given his hangover.
But I’m not absolutely convinced England missed Wayne Rooney very much in that game against Spain.
Instead, they played with a little bit more speed and creativity.
I was quite impressed with our performance – apart from, of course, the defence.
Here’s a question for Mr John Stones: When a very good Spanish player is bearing down on the England goal in the final minutes of a match, which of the following three courses of action do you think it’s best to take?
1) Stop him by tackling him.
2) Kick him into the stands.
3) Smile politely and go down on one knee, mutter, “after YOU, senor” allowing a goal to be scored.
Most international defenders would pick option one. At Millwall we prefer option two. I don’t mind either.
Mr Stones chose option three.
Feta off at work
THE Greeks are rioting again. Petrol bombs and tear gas on the streets of Athens. They are angry because outgoing US president Barack Obama is visiting the country.
They blame Mr Obama for Greece’s economic depression, now into its eighth year.
Previously they’ve blamed the Germans, the European Union, globalisation, international capitalism and probably taramasalata and feta cheese as well.
Listen up, you Greeks.
Obama isn’t to blame for your slump. Nor the rest of that stuff. Your economy is wrecked because a) you don’t pay your taxes, and b) you spend the most part of every day asleep or rioting.
ALRIGHT FOR SOME
HAD a 15 per cent pay rise recently? No? You surprise me.
The Government’s about to hand one out to a most deserving sector of our workforce. Yes – the judges.
Well, come on, let’s face it, it IS hard to struggle by on £250,000 per year.
That’s what the top bewigged monkeys get.
Even the really useless ones get more than £100,000.
Ever get the feeling the world operates a little bit differently for the rich?
More proof of Remainer scaremongering
THROUGH gritted teeth, the BBC reported that Google was massively expanding its operation in the UK. Huge new London HQ, jobs for at least 3,000 people.
The company’s chief executive, Sundar Pichai, said: “Here in the UK, it’s clear to me that computer science has a great future with the talent, educational institutions and passion for innovation we see all around us.
“We are committed to the UK and excited to continue our investment.”
Well said, nerdy American dude. So, no problems with Brexit at all – quite the reverse. Oh, and inflation’s down. Nobody expected that either.
The sky hasn’t fallen in, has it?
SECONDARY school in Northamptonshire has banned hugging.
The daft headmaster, a man called Chris Steed, has said he wants pupils to understand that it’s wrong to invade someone’s personal space.
The inspectors from Ofsted recently invaded Mr Steed’s personal space. They told him his school was cr*p – “requires improvement”.
Maybe that’s why the kids keep hugging each other.
There was no hugging in my secondary school, I have to admit.
But my personal space was invaded pretty much every day with a kick to the b*****ks or a punch to the jaw.
A slightly scary 'sanctuary'
HERE’S my quote of the year so far.
It’s from the mayor of Chicago, a bloke called Rahm Emanuel.
He has vowed to fight Donald Trump’s plans to deport criminal immigrants from the US.
He said: “To all those who are, after Tuesday’s election, very nervous and filled with anxiety . . . you are safe in Chicago, you are secure in Chicago and you are supported in Chicago. Chicago will always be a sanctuary city.”
Great. Stay in the sanctuary city then.
And maybe the murder rate – 600 people slain in just 12 MONTHS – will double.
WHY DO WE CONTINUE VISITING SUCH A VILE CITY?
A HORRIBLE story in yesterday’s Sun.
A young British tourist on holiday in Dubai was allegedly raped by two British men.
What have authorities over there done? Locked her up for having extra-marital sex. That accords with Islamic law, of course.
Women have no rights in the primitive slave state of the UAE. I don’t understand why Brits visit that vile city.
I went there once to do a story – and couldn’t abide the place.
The Brit expats were greedy, grasping chavs.
The local Emiratis were foul, arrogant misogynists. The only nice people in the entire place were the Pakistani taxi drivers and the Russian whores.
May the Ford be with you
STAR WARS actress Carrie Fisher apparently had an “intense” affair with her co-star, Harrison Ford, all those years ago.
She said that she thought to herself, while looking at him: “How could you ask such a shining specimen of a man to be satisfied with the likes of me?”
Well, indeed. I suspect that when women meet me, that is exactly what they’re thinking, too.
Fair enough, considering most of them looked more like Jabba the Hutt than Princess Leia.