Useless Jeremy Corbyn was as big a joke as Theresa May’s blue birthday gag at PMQs

THERESA May is not known for her sense of humour.

So much so that when she told a joke in her speech to the Tory conference earlier this month her spin doctors briefed out the gag the night before to make sure no one missed it.

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But it seems even the sternest PM could not pass up the chance to tell a blue joke when the Member named Bone arose to declare it was his birthday.

And not only that, Peter Bone, the hard-Brexiteer and MP for Peterborough was asking the PM for “present”.

"I do hope Mrs Bone is going to treat the occasion in an appropriate manner", replied Mrs May, wishing him many happy returns.

A flicker of silence, had she really meant to say that?

Did she mean by baking a cake? Please say she meant a cake.

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“I want to hear what is coming next,” cried the Commons Speaker John Bercow as the House erupted into guffaws and titters.

“Calm down Mr Speaker,” drawled Mrs May, sending MPs spluttering and leaving some on the Tory benches frothing with excitement.

Her quip to the pint-sized Bercow confirmed that yes, the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, First Lord of the Treasury, really was cracking filthy gags from the Despatch Box of the mother of Parliaments.

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Matron!

Jeremy Corbyn and his policy scattergun did little to challenge the PM, but the smile was soon wiped off of her face.

It fell to Labour’s Lisa Nandy to forensically fillet the PM’s rapidly changing story on what she knew and when about the disaster-prone Child Abuse Inquiry that she set up from the Home Office.

What a contrast to the useless Labour leader who took the Commons down the garden path on all sorts of issues related to the NHS and allowed the PM to duck and dive.

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But Ms Nandy was greeted with a flash of steel - the Theresa May death stare was back.

Yes, she admitted "there were stories” around about the doomed probe and the bad behaviour of its chair - a confession she had indeed heard them?

But, apparently, Mrs May could not “intervene on the basis of suspicion, rumour or hearsay”.

Direct hit. That’s how you do it Mr Corbyn...

SCORE: Theresa May 5 - 1 Jeremy Corbyn