It’s time the zombie hordes of Remain voters led by Ed Miliband and Nick Clegg climbed back into their pit
The leftie brigade have come out of the woodwork to offer their patronising advice on the historic Brexit vote
DO you remember anything special about June 24 this year?
I’ve been racking my brains for ages — I’m sure there was something . . . ah, yes, that’s it.
We’d just voted to leave the European Union.
Much to the great surprise of our liberal elite, every region of England except for London voted out.
It was, as I mentioned at the time, a quiet revolution.
Some people have forgotten.
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In the last few weeks there’s been an eerie clanking of chains and a howling from the crypt.
It is the rising of the Undead.
The zombie hordes of Remain voters — the Bremoaners — who either can’t come to grips with the fact that we voted out or have forgotten that it happened.
And they are demanding that regardless of what the people want, Parliament should debate how and when and even if we leave.
Or at least, that’s how they put it.
What they mean is they want to stop the process and put a spanner in the works.
In particular, they want to overturn the central reason as to why so many voted Leave.
Free movement of labour.
The very thing which has done so much harm to the poorest-paid people of this country.
They want us to agree to give up our demands to control the numbers coming into our country.
So who are they, these zombies?
The old, usual, suspects.
Dead Ed Miliband for a start.
What a star he was.
Anyway, he’s back, with his hollow eyes and bolts through his neck, demanding the people’s will be ignored.
And the hilarious Nick Clegg, another failure.
And some bint from the Confederation of British Industry, which was implacably opposed to Brexit.
All lecturing the Government on how we have to effectively ignore the referendum and allow the politicians to decide our future.
There is something deeply wrong with these people.
They cheer any and every bit of adverse economic news as proof that they were right.
The Pound falls a bit, they jump up and down with delight.
When some EU panjandrum says we have to be treated harshly for daring to leave, they clap their hands and yell in support.
Time and again they ignore the good economic news.
The increase in investment in the UK.
The incredibly good shape our economy is in — especially compared to mainland Europe.
The better market for exports.
The drop in unemployment and the rise in the number of jobs created.
Of course, their behaviour is unpatriotic.
But it is also undemocratic.
They stick to this idea that we were all lied to by the Leave campaign and that, as a consequence, the referendum was unsound.
Well, we were lied to by both camps, equally.
And we had the sense to see through the guff and make up our own minds.
I want us to leave the EU because that’s what we voted to do.
And free movement of labour is not a negotiable issue, as the Prime Minister has rightly said.
Beyond that, I want Theresa May to get the best possible deal for our country from our former European Union partners.
And not be dictated to by the likes of Dead Ed and Nick Clegg.
It’s time the zombies climbed back into their pit.
Do chew think I'm sexy?
Good to see Sir Roderick Stewart chewing gum like a delinquent teenager when he was introduced to the Queen.
That rock ’n’ roll spirit never dies, huh?
He might at least have asked a flunkey to look after his gum when her Maj hove into view.
Or shoved it under a vase, or something. Maybe given it to a corgi.
Still, it’s one honour I don’t begrudge.
Rod the Mod was very good, once. Even if the opening line of his best song has always seemed to me a bit rude.
“Wake up Maggie I think I’ve got something to say to you . . .”
Shouldn’t you be absolutely SURE you’ve got something to say if you’re going to wake somebody up?
BEEB'S HOT ON DIVERSITY
HERE’S some cheering news.
The BBC has decided that its output is “too Christian”.
It ought to be a bit more diverse in its religious broadcasting, according to one of its top brass.
Have to say I hadn’t noticed that the BBC was terribly Christian.
There’s Songs Of Praise and that’s about it. But still, now that the corporation has decided we’re not a Christian country any more, maybe there’ll be more room for Britain’s community of Satanists.
As a devout follower of His Infernal Master, I want a black mass performed live on BBC One every Saturday night.
Just before Match Of The Day.
I’ll provide the goat and hopefully the Beeb can provide the virgins.
Miley's all mouth
So another motor-mouthed non-talent, Miley Cyrus, has just come out as “pansexual”.
I believe that means she’ll shag absolutely anything. With a pulse, without a pulse. Animal, vegetable or mineral.
Fine, you’re pansexual, Miley. We had a different word for that sort of behaviour when I was growing up, but you stick to pansexual, love.
Stop NHS tourism
What are we going to do about health tourism?
It costs the country at least £2billion every year – and it’s getting worse.
St George’s Hospital in South London, for example, recently had 900 Nigerian women flying in to drop their sprogs. Nine hundred!
Quick flight from Lagos, drawers down, a few cubic litres of gas and air and Bob’s yer uncle.
One woman, called Bimbo, gave birth to quintuplet babies (that’s FIVE, maths fans).
And nobody ever bothered chasing her for the £145,000 it cost.
Isn’t it time we took a rather tougher line?
And hasn’t Nigeria got more than enough people already?
Here she is again
The awful Jodie Marsh has been arrested for allegedly harassing some bloke called James Placido.
He’s her estranged husband, apparently.
She has been tweeting about the whole thing proudly. Claims she’s the “ultimate bad girl”.
Nope, Jode. That would be Eva Braun. You’re just the ultimate a**ehole.
What did we do, as a country, to have this skank yapping at us all the time?
Shami's selective memory
The Labour Party is completely opposed to grammar schools.
Or, at least, it’s opposed to YOU sending your kid to a selective school.
The Shadow Attorney General, Shami Chakrabarti sends her child to a selective private school costing £18,000 per year.
The Shadow Brexit Secretary, Emily Thornberry, sends her kid to a partly selective school 14 MILES from her home.
And the Shadow Home Secretary, Diane Abbott, sent her son to a very, very, posh private school because she didn’t like the look of the local comprehensives.
Do as I say, not as I do.
What a bunch of low-life hypocrites.
SOME ADVICE
NEW sex advice warns people not to ask their partners how many lovers they’ve had.
No, indeed.
The main reason for this is that you will be told a lie.
The men will always say: “Ooh, at least 40, I think”, and the women will always say: “Five.”
Whereas the real answer, in both cases, is about 18.
Jumping on the bandwagon
I’ve been having a great time, these past few days. Dressed up as a sinister clown, scaring children and the elderly.
Don’t know why I didn’t think of it before, frankly.
The killer clown craze has spread across the US and the UK. And now there’s an anti-clown backlash.
One of my clown brothers got his head kicked in for trying to scare someone.
And the police are warning people not to dress as clowns and to leave off with the frightening bit.
This all seems terribly unfair on clowns like me, who really only want to cheer people up. Its discrimination against a vulnerable community.
If I really wanted to scare people I’d put on a Diane Abbott facemask and jabber like a cretin at them.
We live in a multicultural society and we should tolerate people like me. Is it ’cos I is white (and wearing huge shoes)?