Is your cat a psycho? Take our test to see if your beloved moggy is a certified maniac
THEY can be oh, so cute, but also a bit, well, catty when things do not go quite their way.
Some very catty indeed. Seemingly for a lot of the time.
Eleven million of us have taken a puss into our home.
But is yours a furry bundle of fun?
Or a a pet psycho, all fangs and claws?
We are here to help you find out.
Taken from new book Is Your Cat A Psychopath, the purrsonality quiz below will assess your cat’s behaviour on four counts – boldness, unsocialness, craziness and meanness.
Just decide which answers to the 20 questions best sum up your pet and make a note of its number from one to five.
Tot up the scores for a total and find out your cat’s type below and whether or not you happen to be living with a clawed pyschopath.
- Is Your Cat A Psychopath?, by Stephen Wildish, (Pop Press) available now £8.99.
BOLDNESS
- My cat can be found in silly and often dangerous places.
5. Very much so
4. Yes, I guess
3. Not sure
2. Not really
1. No way
2. New shed, my cat is straight in and knocking things over.
5. Very much so
4. Yes, I guess
3. Not sure
2. Not really
1. No way
3. My cat takes risky jumps, often missing the target.
5. Very much so
4. Yes, I guess
3. Not sure
2. Not really
1. No way
4. My cat is always getting into fights with other cats.
5. Very much so
4. Yes, I guess
3. Not sure
2. Not really
1. No way
5. My cat sits on the top of the sofa, judging us all.
5. Very much so
4. Yes, I guess
3. Not sure
2. Not really
1. No way
UNSOCIALNESS
6. My cat craves stimulation, when you are on Zoom call
5. Very much so
4. Yes, I guess
3. Not sure
2. Not really
1. No way
7. House can be full of yowls and screeches for no reason.
5. Very much so
4. Yes, I guess
3. Not sure
2. Not really
1. No way
8. The house is sometimes like a racetrack for cats.
5. Very much so
4. Yes, I guess
3. Not sure
2. Not really
1. No way
9. My cat’s always sitting on my laptop
5. Very much so
4. Yes, I guess
3. Not sure
2. Not really
1. No way
10. My cat will not leave you alone until you stroke it.
5. Very much so
4. Yes, I guess
3. Not sure
2. Not really
1. No way
CRAZINESS
11. My cat is a little idiot, always getting into scrapes.
5. Very much so
4. Yes, I guess
3. Not sure
2. Not really
1. No way
12. My cat knows it does things I don’t want, but doesn’t care.
5. Very much so
4. Yes, I guess
3. Not sure
2. Not really
1. No way
13. My cat steals food from my plate and drink from my glass
5. Very much so
4. Yes, I guess
3. Not sure
2. Not really
1. No way
14. My cat makes weird noises at night, really weird noises.
5. Very much so
4. Yes, I guess
3. Not sure
2. Not really
1. No way
15. My cat pushes things off shelves, while stares at me.
5. Very much so
4. Yes, I guess
3. Not sure
2. Not really
1. No way
MEANNESS
16. My cat can quickly dislike someone and be horrible.
5. Very much so
4. Yes, I guess
3. Not sure
2. Not really
1. No way
17. My cat is the top cat. It bosses other cats.
5. Very much so
4. Yes, I guess
3. Not sure
2. Not really
1. No way
18. Other cats fear my cat. What it thinks is play can be bit rough
5. Very much so
4. Yes, I guess
3. Not sure
2. Not really
1. No way
19. Embarrassingly, my cat is in charge of me.
5. Very much so
4. Yes, I guess
3. Not sure
2. Not really
1. No waY
20. My cat hates kids. I wouldn’t leave it in a room with one.
5. Very much so
4. Yes, I guess
3. Not sure
2. Not really
1. No way
THE SCORES
BOLDNESS
A SCORE of more than ten and your cat is more bold than wary.
Purrsonality type: Pawdon Ramsay.
Behaviour: Will take uncalculated risks and is known to lash out at others if their behaviour doesn’t suit him. Will turn his nose up if you’ve over- cooked the fish. His mean streak only comes out when provoked.
Psychopath verdict: Not a psychopath.
UNSOCIALNESS
A SCORE less than ten and your cat is more sociable than reserved.
Purrsonality type: Leonardo Di-Cat-rio.
Behaviour: Leo is a charming cat loved up and down the street. He acts like nobody feeds him in multiple houses. Enjoys strokes with everyone he meets.
Psychopath verdict: Possible psychopath, surely no-one can be that nice?
CRAZINESS
A SCORE of more than ten and your cat is more crazy than restrained.
Purrsonality type: Pablo Purrcasso.
Behaviour: A creative flair all of his own and sees things that aren’t there.
Scatty so will be crashing and bashing at 3am. Craziness gets him into trouble if exploring neighbours houses.
Psychopath verdict: not a psychopath, just a bit crazy.
MEANNESS
A SCORE of more than ten and your cat is more mean than nice.
Purrsonality type: Hannibal Lickter.
Behaviour: Enjoys being around humans; sniffs and licks might be affection, might be tasting fresh meat.
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May murder you in your sleep. Claws are kept sharp for a purpose.
Psychopath verdict: Psycho, and he doesn’t even hide it.