Chilling confession note left behind by murderer who slaughtered entire family before cutting himself out of photos
SERIAL killer John List who massacred his entire family before disappearing and living a secret double life for 18 years left a chilling note confessing to his evil crimes.
In November 1971, List murdered his wife, mother, and three children at their mansion in Westfield, New Jersey, where their bodies lay undiscovered for a month.
Police investigators who finally found the bodies were greeted with a truly horrific scene.
List's wife Helen, 46; his daughter Patricia, 16; and sons John, 15, and Frederick, 13, were laid out on sleeping bags in the house's ballroom.
Upstairs, the body of his 84-year-old mother Almas was found. All five victims had been shot in the head, with his eldest son John receiving 10 gunshot wounds.
Before leaving the house, List had cut his face out of every family photograph and destroyed his passport, so that police would not have a picture of him to use in their manhunt.
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The only evidence of List's existence was a chilling five-page letter he left behind, confessing to the horrific slaughter and attempting to justify his crimes.
Addressed to his pastor, supposed devout Lutheran List claimed he had murdered his family "so they could go to heaven".
The letter, which wouldn't be publicly released for almost 20 years, starts with an apology to Reverend Eugene A Rehwinkel for "adding to his workload".
He blamed the murders on his financial difficulties and feared his family would forsake their religion.
"After it was all over I said some prayers for them all - from the hymn book," he wrote. "That was the least I could do."
He also claimed that God could have helped him, "but apparently he saw fit not to answer my prayers".
List had been laid off from his accounting job several months before the murders, but rather than face the shame of telling anyone, he would get dressed for work every day, drive to the train station and sit in his car reading the paper for hours until returning home.
Sickeningly, the father-of-three tried to justify his crimes in the letter, by claiming he was saving their souls.
Another friend Susan said Patricia had told her shortly before her death: "I have a feeling within me that something bad is going to happen."
Rhonda insists that Patricia knew her father wanted her and her brothers dead, and that List seemed "happier" in the weeks before the murders.
In his confession note, List blamed the murders entirely on his financial situation and his family's loss of faith.
"If any one of these had been the condition we might have pulled through but this was just too much," he wrote. "At least I’m certain that all have gone to heaven now."
He then discussed the "final arrangements" for his family, asking for them to be cremated and the funeral costs kept low.
In a shockingly cold afterthought, he added: "P.S. Mother is in the hallway in the attic-3rd floor. She was too heavy to move."
ON THE RUN
Despite a massive manhunt, List remained free for the next 18 years, living in Denver, Colorado under a new name, where he eventually met his second wife Delores.
Former Wall Street Journal reporter Joe Sharkey, who wrote a book Death Sentence about the List house murders, believes List was able to go on the run for so long due to both local police and broader FBI incompetence.
Speaking to The Sun Online from his home in Arizona, he said authorities should have realised List would resurface in another Lutheran church.
"They [the FBI] were afraid to approach churches," he said. "They were afraid to rattle the bushes in religious communities.
"That's where they would have found him pretty quickly."
He was finally captured after his story was featured on an episode of America's Most Wanted, and a former neighbour recognised the man she knew as Robert C Clarke as John List.
Even after being convicted of murder, List refused to take responsibility for his crimes.
Addressing the jury following his life sentence, he said: "I wish to inform the court that I remain truly sorry for the tragedy that happened in 1971.
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"I feel that due to my mental state at the time, I was unaccountable for what happened. I ask all those who were affected by this for their forgiveness, your understanding, and your prayers. Thank you."
He would eventually die in March 2008 of pneumonia at the age of 82.