Parents furious after students told NOT to call them ‘mum’ and ‘dad’ – and use ‘grown-ups’ instead
ANGRY parents have hit out after students were told not to call them “mum” and “dad” but should use “grown-ups” instead.
Headteachers at four state primary schools in Brighton said the phrase should be used to avoid discriminating against “non-traditional” families.
A school vision statement from Carlton Hill Primary School said: “We try to talk about our ‘grown-ups’ rather than our ‘mums and dads’ to acknowledge the different family groupings our pupils live in.”
Parents though reacted angrily to the decision, saying their children had become confused.
One parent with a child at the school told : “It's very confusing for us adults, never mind the kids. They just don't understand why the teachers can't call their mums or dads, mum or dad?
“I know the schools are trying to take into account the different kinds of families pupils may come from, but the majority have a mum or dad, regardless of if they are together or not. So why can't staff just keep it simple for the kids and call their parents what they are; mum or dad?”
Another said: "In trying to be more inclusive, the schools are forgetting about mum and dad, the most important people in a kid's life. This is just madness, where will it stop?"
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Commentators on social media also waded into the debate.
One person on Twitter wrote: “I would go into that school and declare to the whole place, that my children will always call me mum and my husband dad and they can't do a thing about it… this is just stupid now?”
Although another responded, saying: “My granddaughter’s previous primary school always referred to ‘grown-ups’ because they had a number of kids in care & it was deemed insensitive to refer to mums & dads.”
While a third person added: “I began teaching 20 years ago and referring to to the children's families as grown-ups or guardians had been in use long before that. Getting a letter, or told to bring Mum and Dad in is upsetting to those that don't have a Mum and Dad. Very basic empathy that's decades old.”
Other primary schools in the seaside town have also outlined similar policies which outline the language staff should use to ensure pupils who are raised in diverse families are not stigmatised.
St Luke’s Primary School says on its website: “We have an Equalities Language Code for staff (eg to value all families we never refer to "mums and dads" and instead talk about "grown-ups").”
Another primary school, Elm Grove, states in its Equalities Statement: “We try to talk about our "grown-ups" rather than our "mums and dads" to acknowledge the different family groupings our pupils live in.”
Saltdean Primary said in its Equality and Diversity Policy: “Language- we use the terms parents/carers rather than "mum" and "dad" as we recognise that our families are made up of many different people. When children start at Saltdean, they discuss and share what makes a family for them. This allows children to see different family dynamics than their own but also helps them to recognise that it is the relationships that make a family.”
However, the move by the schools appears to have put them at loggerheads with Brighton and Hove Council, which oversees them.
The local council said it had not issued any directive on the matter and schools were free to make up their own minds.
It said in a statement: “Our advice to schools is that it is of course fine to use words such as mum, dad or grandma if staff know a child's family circumstances.
“But we have a very diverse school population and we want all members of the school community to feel included.
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“In cases where a child's family is unknown the term grown-up or grown-ups can include, for example, grandparents, foster carers, families with same sex parents and single parent families.
“Schools make their own decisions about their equality policies.”
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