Dad of 8 with house, benefits and 60-inch TV says he’s neglected… pass me the Valium
It beggars belief that Mr Sube has the nerve to demand a larger house for his ever expanding family and remain ungrateful to the UK putting him up
FIRST I called my doctor, who kindly delivered a special supply of super- strength blood pressure tablets.
Next came an hour or so lying down in a darkened room. A little yoga followed, plus a Valium and a couple of glasses of Merlot.
Then, and only then, was I calm enough to address the issue of the ungrateful Arnold Sube and his enormous family.
Mr Sube came from Cameroon. How he ended up here is a mystery, as Wikipedia describes the West African state as having “relatively high political and social stability”.
Perhaps he had an issue with the quality of his nation’s council houses.
Anyway, his first stop was France, where he met fellow Cameroonian Jeanne but for whatever reason they didn’t fancy the country (too many French people perhaps) so four years ago landed on our shores with their seven children.
Cutting the story short he clearly needed a home and work. Why was that our responsibility?
Anyway, the job he wanted was as a psychiatric nurse.
Having no skills in that area the NHS funded his three-year, £9,000-a-year degree at the local uni. Why the NHS did that is beyond me. Do they do that for your son or daughter?
Why didn’t they tell him to take a porter’s job in a hospital and study for a degree at night?
Next came the house. He had seven children so Luton Borough Council offered him a four-bedroom house which he currently lives in but he has turned down a five-bedroom place.
The council has been immaculate in its treatment of Mr Sube.
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He takes this view of their generosity: “Me and my family have been neglected.”
What cobblers. At every turn Britain has been great for him.
From the 60in TV, the Sky HD box, the benefits, the subsidised nursing degree.
Of course, he didn’t help himself by fathering yet another child over here, taking the number to eight.
So you are skint, without any means of self-sufficiency and what do you do? Have another baby who will further burden the state.
The political classes who got the referendum so wrong often wonder how they never saw Brexit coming.
The answer is they never met families like the Subes.
You do and you want the Government to pull up the drawbridge.
Thank God for the 52 per cent.
Lucky Vic gave Vazeline the slip
THE luckiest man in Britain is probably a Romanian chap called Victor Spirescu.
You may remember he was the first of his countrymen to arrive at Luton Airport on New Year’s Day some two years ago.
And using the occasion as a political stunt, there to welcome him with a ready smile and a warm handshake was Labour MP Keith Vaz.
He even suggested they had a coffee together.
Young Victor revealed he was only paid ten euros a day back home and was hopeful to make that in an hour over here.
With his much-publicised sexual interest in East European men, Mr Vaz might well have paid a lot more for his services.
The downside for Victor is that I doubt he would want a desk job after working for Mr Vaz – the sitting down might be too painful.
Burglar job perks
WITH it being back-to-college week, if your offspring is casting around for a career to follow but is short of academic qualification, I wonder if he might consider being a professional burglar in Essex.
County police have just revealed there were 220 burglaries in the Uttlesford area between January 1 and July 31, with only four being solved. A scandalously low two per cent clean-up rate.
The plus points of being a burglar in the orange county are clear. The job is free of income tax.
No apprenticeship required – learn on the job.
Mainly night work, giving the opportunity to spend the day in the pub.
Tools of the trade can be purchased for a few quid in B&Q.
A 98 per cent chance you won’t be nicked and even then the worst you will face is a probation order and £20 out of the poor box.
The pay package of the Essex Chief Constable is around £200,000. Clearly not paid by results.
Met boss will not be missed
I HEAR Sir Bernard Hogan-Howe, the hopeless Scotland Yard Commissioner who pursued innocent Sun journalists with such fervour and destroyed the previous beneficial relationship between plod and hack, is being shown the door.
London Mayor Sadiq Khan, the only bright spot on the Labour horizon, doesn’t like or rate him and has started searching for a replacement when Hogan-Howe’s contract ends next summer.
Good news.
Rip-offs!...Not in my name
PLEASED to report that column readers are increasingly using my name to put pressure on crooked companies who won’t return their money.
My old chums at the car rental company Enterprise had wrongly charged Elaine Batson of the Staffordshire Moorlands £77.17 for a damaged tyre.
She demanded the money back but was stonewalled by the branch in Leek Road, Stoke-on-Trent.
She emailed them again but this time copying me in. What happened?
The charlatans apologised at once for nobody returning her calls and said the refund was on its way.
The same thing happened to Dee Meadows, who had paid an incredible £271 for RAC roadside recovery but switched to the AA for £109 (you can get it much cheaper than that) and went back to the RAC but couldn’t get her refund.
She then threatened the RAC with me and all of a sudden up popped her £271 plus £49 as an apology.
Do use my name.
LABOUR HYPOCRISY
DID you see that virtually all the major hitters of the Shadow Cabinet, including Corbyn, McDonnell, Abbott, Flynn, Trickett and Morris, all went to grammar schools.
Their policy? Implacably opposed. My pocket calculator is not powerful enough to work out the size of the Tory General Election landslide in 2020.
I'll drink to these
THIS is a classic. Brian Stevenson had been a loyal Lloyds customer for nearly four decades.
He received his home and contents renewal for £1,617, then took my advice and went on aspokesmansaid.com, where he switched to M&S for, wait for it . . . £272, saving £1,345.
In his email to me Brian said if I was passing Nottingham way he would buy me a pint. Brian, it would cost me £60 for a return rail trip to Nottingham. How about a bottle of bubbles in the post instead?
Don’t be loyal. You can’t afford it.
Pet lover Janet Mountford was due to pay £54.98 a month for dog insurance. She went on and got the same cover for £17.19 per month, an annual saving of £453.
Love those savings. Send yours to [email protected].
Punnies
Deli delivery van on the M6, Cheshire - Adellie
Family butcher's in Gillingham, Kent - Pleased to Meet You, Meat to Please You
Mobile cleaning company in Theale, Berks - Scrubbers
Hairdressers in Wotton-under-Edge, Gloucs - Hair-O-Dynamics
Re-upholsterer van seen in Wargrave, Berks - A Stitch in Twine
Great punnies today. Keep them coming to [email protected]