TEENAGE BLUE TICKS

Facebook launches app designed to win back youngsters who think it’s hopelessly uncool

The world's biggest social network tries to get down with a new generation of hyper-connected kids

Still think it's hilarious to "poke" people on Facebook and post endless pictures of the baked potato you had for lunch?

Then it's time to get with the times, granddad, because it's the cool kids wouldn't be seen dead on Zuck's social network these days.

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 with an app aimed exclusively at school children.

It's called Lifestage and appears custom-designed to baffle anyone above the age of about 13 years old.

You're probably not young enough or cool enough to understand this app. Sorry
Over the hill and down in the (silicon) valley... family man Zuck with his wife Priscilla and baby MaxCredit: AP:Associated Press

Here's what Facebook's Michael Sayman has to, erm, say about the app he's just spent two years working on.

"Lifestage looks back at the days of Facebook from 2004 and explores what can be done if we went back and turned the crank all the way forward to 2016 with video-first.

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"Back in 2004, Facebook was all about “who I am”. I could post my relationship status. I could share what my favorite music was. And it was all about expressing myself.

"Today as Facebook has grown into so much more, we see the opportunity to explore that concept of “who I am” once again, but for Generation Z in 2016."

Got that?

What Lifestage does is offer kids yet another way of wasting their time by compiling photos and videos of things they like, before being virtually introduced to schoolmates who are into similar stuff.

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Mr Sayman went "all out" to allow children to upload as many pictures of themselves as humanly possible.

He added: "A collection of videos depicting all your facial expressions gives people a way to express themselves in a whole new way. Ranging from 'My Happy Face' to 'My Tired Face' to 'My Friday Face'."

Mark Zuckerberg, Facebook boss, wants us to share more and more (and MORE) of our lives on his social networkCredit: Facebook

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You can also fill in yet more fields ranging from "How I dance" to "In My Fridge", which Facebook claimed "can provide so many aspects of your identity that were previously impossible to share with text".

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