Dignified, modest and successful… if only footie ‘stars’ were like athletes
I SO love our Olympic athletes and so hate our English footballers.
The stories of early morning sacrifice for little or no money by our cyclists, swimmers and rowers made their winning so deserved and so pleasurable to watch.
When they appeared in front of the cameras to talk about their success they weren’t conceited but considered. They always had a kind word for their parents, who had often sacrificed much of their own lives to make it happen.
If it was a team sport it was never about them but about the others who made it possible.
Watching the Olympics has been an absolute joy.
I was particularly taken by unassuming Bryony Page, who won silver in the trampoline. It emerges she has a first in biology. What a talent. When she completed her performance she wept.
She wept again when given her medal. We wept with her.
Contrast the intelligence of our Olympians and the success that came with that of England football “stars”.
Overpaid. Overpampered and unfortunately over here. Thick as you like.
Awful in Brazil for the World Cup and even worse in France for the Euros. Did they drop a tear? Did they apologise? Did they explain? Did they hell.
The only commitment footballers have is to their absurd pay packets, their haircuts and their latest shirt collar fashion. No button, one button, two buttons is the full extent of their thought process.
I am grateful to the magazine Four Four Two for revealing the stunning stupidity of footballers through a series of anecdotes from player liaison officers whose job is to sort everything from changing the stars’ lightbulbs to fixing car insurance.
I have my own story of the world they live in.
I was told the liaison lady at Chelsea received a frantic phone call from David Luiz when he was the club’s centre back who had taken his supercar out for a spin for the first time.
He said he was in a place called Milton Keynes but needed help to find his way back to London. David, it’s called the M1.
It’s pretty straight. It’s the road you drove up.
The other thing that is hard to miss is how lucky we are to have the Bryony Pages of this world representing our nation. I can only hope that Jack Wilshere and his dim chums can learn from Team GB’s dignity and good manners . . . and success.
You wouldn’t bet on it, would you?
INCREDIBLE new stats show boys are shunning university, with the split at Russell Group colleges running at 60 to 40 per cent female to male.
Mind you, for those chaps at uni interested in a night out with the ladies, the student union bar looks more attractive by the minute.
THE simple solution to the great Hertz scandal (my campaign) is that the powerful Competition and Markets Authority should insist there is a red button on car rental sites.
By clicking it, you would get competitive insurance quotes in advance, instead of being ripped off at the counter, as I was to the tune of over £500.
It would be technologically simple but the rental companies would fight it all the way.
However, if the CMA said it had to happen then it would happen, as they could withdraw the car rental firm’s insurance licence.
The red button may take some time to implement but for now I have found five companies who will charge you a fraction of what the charlatans at Hertz, Goldcar, EuropCar etc demand.
They are: , , , and .
Just wave the policy at the counter people, ignore their protestations and they will go away. There is nothing in it for me – just the pleasure of you saving a lot of money.
IF, as happened to me (Friday’s column item), Fedex have smashed the contents of your important parcel but refuse to take responsibility, you might like to drop their chief executive an email.
In your letters to me you have complained of delivery damage to jam jars, cycles and even lawn mowers.
I am told his email address is [email protected].
Do give him my best.
Related Stories
School lesson for PM
THE faster Theresa May introduces grammar schools into poor areas the better.
Take Langley Grammar (less than four miles from Eton) on the outskirts of minority-dominated Slough, Berks, made famous by a mixture of David Brent and the disobliging Sir John Betjeman.
The school is Anglo-Indian (80.5 per cent), black British (2 per cent) mixed heritage (8.1 per cent) and white (5 per cent).
The results are astonishing. At GCSE, 99.3 per cent got five A-C grades while at A-level the number gaining three was 99.1 per cent. Would the same pupils have achieved such results in a comp?
We all know the answer to that.
Aspirational working-class families of all colours demand more grammar schools. They are socially transforming.
It was an utter disgrace that Cameron turned his back on them for a decade.
Over to you Theresa.
THANK you, Kelv: Column reader George Mason received a £600.06 renewal demand from the company he had been with for 30 years.
He went on and switched to Marks & Spencer for £186, saving £414.
Don’t be loyal – it doesn’t pay.
I love your saving stories, especially any about car policies.
Send them to [email protected].
Jab the Ripper
PETER SUTCLIFFE, the Yorkshire Ripper responsible for 13 murders, says he would rather have a lethal injection than be switched from the comfort of Broadmoor to a top-security prison.
His wish should be granted – with one caveat.
The switch should still go ahead but on the day before his final release he should then be given the lethal injection.
That way we would all be happy.
MY quote of the week: “We should have no worries about letting them (jihadis) go because the chances are some will get killed and that increases the security of this country.”
The quote comes from Frank Field – about the only Labour MP who talks any sense these days.
What with his single-handed battle against Mr Philip Green and his stand on excessive migration, I am astonished Labour have to listen to Owen Smith’s ramblings when there is a strong and electorally popular potential leader in their midst.
Personally I would have added: “And if they survive I would not allow them back.”
How to lose on a horse
LLOYDS Bank is employing the black horse in its new TV campaign but I’d be more impressed if it would stop employing the black arts on its customers.
For ten years a woman customer – I’m not going to name her – bought her home and contents insurance through a branch in North London where she also kept a healthy deposit.
The renewal price had climbed to a staggering £2,500 so she went to Lloyds and asked if it was the best they could do.
After “pulling in a favour”, the bank in North London reduced the price to £2,100.
A friend thought it was still high, went online and found Lloyds were selling the same insurance for wait for it . . . £500.
She complained but the bank said effectively it was caveat emptor – buyer beware. Anyway she told Lloyds to get stuffed, went online and through comparison sites lowered the price to £450 including receiving cover for the first time for her £15K ring.
Every time you receive a renewal you must follow the Financial Conduct Authority’s latest guidelines and get switching. Lloyds Bank is not there to help you.
Mind you, it may be the Lloyds CEO Antonio Horta-Osorio has been busy lately helping out that blonde lady.
Punnies
STILL loving your great punnies.
Furniture removal van in Burnley– I Like To Move It Move It.
Plumber’s van in Yorkshire – Titus Aduxas.
Knitting shop in Marlow, Bucks – Mrs Sew And Sew.
Gardeners in Cumbria – Lawn And Order.
Flooring business in Brighton – Walter Wall Flooring.
House cleaning van in Romford, Essex – Chores Truly.
Bookmakers in East Leake, Leics – Rob The Bookie.
Pizza place in Whitby, North Yorks – Bits And Pizzas.
Domestic cleaners on the A38 at Markeaton, Derby – Top Of The Mops.
Breakdown recovery van at Cadwell Park, Lincs – Crash And Carry.
Can’t get enough of those. Please keep sending them to [email protected].