Coleen Rooney doesn’t have to be Wagatha to solve Wayne riddle
WAYNE ROONEY’S sporting brain helped power numerous balls past hapless goalkeepers.
But off the pitch, it’s hard not to conclude that he’s thick as mince.
Why else would he find himself at the centre of yet another potentially compromising situation?
Wayne and his “people” are at pains to point out that, this time, he didn’t cheat on Coleen — his wife of 13 years and mother of his four young sons.
Bully for him.
But you don’t have to be Wagatha Christie to work out that it’s time for this 35-year-old man to grow up and start behaving more responsibly.
For those blissfully unaware of the latest drama in Wayne’s life, it involves a night out in a Manchester club with mates, an invitation to three young women to join him in the VIP section, and an early-hours visit to their budget hotel room where he drunkenly fell asleep (fully clothed) and they subsequently flooded social media with images of them posing next to him in scanty outfits.
So far, so unsavoury.
The encounter took place while his wife Coleen is on holiday in Wales with the kids, and sources say she thinks he’s been stitched up.
Hmmm.
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Given her public shaming of Rebekah Vardy for allegedly leaking information from her personal Instagram account, one might expect her to publicly condemn her husband for yet again embarrassing her with his thoughtless actions.
But I digress.
Meanwhile, the Derby County boss reported the matter to police for alleged “blackmail” and was quizzed by officers for over an hour.
Cheshire police yesterday dropped the case in a dramatic U-turn, saying they were “satisfied no offences have taken place”.
But what was the alleged “crime” exactly?
Was Wayne forced to accompany the girls to their room?
Not according to the CCTV footage that shows him strolling ahead of them to the hotel at 5.15am.
Was money demanded in exchange for not posting the photos?
Presumably not, because it seems they were uploaded before he even knew they existed.
Which leaves us solely with the accusation that the photographs were taken without his knowledge.
Friends of Wayne argue that had it been three men that posted photographs of themselves in their underwear alongside a drunken, semi-comatose woman, there would be an uproar on behalf of the unsuspecting participant.
And they’re probably right.
WHY HASN'T HE LEARNED TO DODGE AVOIDABLE BULLETS
It’s also true that, male or female, it’s deeply questionable behaviour that should never be condoned.
But instead of taking up police time when resources are more stretched than ever, there was one very simple way this embarrassing episode could have been avoided.
Wayne could have gone home alone.
No one’s saying he shouldn’t have a night out with the lads if he wants to, but after being involved in previous public scandals, why hasn’t he learned the valuable lesson of how to dodge such wholly avoidable bullets?
An innocent interaction it may have been, but if he doesn’t understand that inviting three young women to party with you then accompanying them back to their hotel room might end in yet more embarrassment for his wife, then he’s an idiot.
Married or otherwise, any celebrity with even a shred of common sense would know that if you accompany a “Snapchat model” and her friends back to her hotel room, chances are it will go viral.
A mother of one of the girls says: “They’re 21 and he’s nearly 40. He’s invited them over. He sent a security guard to invite them to his VIP booth. It’s upset them all. They’re in tears.
“They thought they were being funny . . . I feel awful for them but I’m also angry because they’ve been stupid.”
Indeed they have.
But they are social media-obsessed 21-year-olds who couldn’t believe their luck when someone famous beckoned them over to bathe in their spotlight.
What’s Wayne’s excuse for his stupidity?
No flip flops on hols Boris
WE were supposed to be flying to France this coming weekend for our annual holiday to stay at a friend’s house in a quiet rural village.
But I cancelled it after the Government inexplicably declared the trip as “amber plus”.
After ten days away, it wasn’t tenable for me to then have to take another ten days off work to quarantine at home when I could just take a day two PCR test and, if negative, get on with my life.
Ten-day quarantine is for the sick; not for double-jabbed, healthy people to sit twiddling their thumbs because of some ill-conceived panic measure.
Now, just two weeks later, the Government is making U-turn noises and suggesting France may be returned to amber list status – but not before millions have already cancelled their well-laid plans.
Do they have even the slightest idea how the people they purport to represent live their lives?
Holidays have to be planned in advance.
Workplaces need to be notified so they can get cover if needs be.
Deposits are paid on hotels and hire cars and have to be cancelled by a certain date or we lose the money.
Pets have to be booked in to kennels.
Cover care has to be arranged for any elderly relatives while we’re away.
On top of that, few can afford the iniquitous costs of all the required PCR tests that can literally double the cost of their family holiday.
We can’t just dip into our trust fund and hop on a last-minute flight to Tuscany while nanny and Mrs Danvers hold the fort.
Memo to Boris et al: Make a decision and stick to it.
And leave the flip flops for the beach.
Furious family
THE four sisters who dropped another buyer in favour of actress Helen Baxendale, who offered them £200,000 more for their Devon family home, are now furious because she’s pulled out of the sale.
“We can’t believe anyone could behave so badly,” said one of them.
Why not? They did.
Golden guy Tom would have made dad proud
WHEN Tom Daley was just nine years old and attempting his first ever high dive, he held on to the railings for dear life before eventually crawling to the edge and peering over the side.
“I did not think he would ever be a diver,” said his first coach Andy Banks, not unreasonably.
Yet Tom, now 27, has just secured an Olympic gold medal alongside his diving partner Matty Lee.
They made it look easy, but it was the well-deserved culmination of years of dedication, sacrifice and hard work.
“I want to get to the Olympics and win a gold medal,” Tom told a BBC interviewer when he was just 11.
His own determination and the unwavering support of his loved ones has finally made it happen.
Sadly, while Tom’s toddler son with got to see “Daddy” win, his own father Robert – “my biggest cheerleader” – died from a brain tumour in 2011.
Seeing his son on that podium would indeed have been a source of great joy for him.
But most of all, he’d have been proud of the immensely kind, likeable and well-rounded man his boy has become.
Tragic Esther
NINE months after British hiker Esther Dingley went missing in the Pyrenees, a skull and other bones have been found close to her last known location.
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Tests are still being carried out to establish if it’s 37-year-old Esther but, if so, it shows that in so many cases where missing people are believed to have been abducted or murdered, the truth can turn out to be far more pedestrian.
But it’s no less heart-breaking for the loved ones left behind.
Buy a ruler
CLAIRE MacDONALD, from Macduff, Aberdeenshire, saw the funny side when the “paddling pool” she ordered on eBay turned out to be the size of a foot-bath.
And it’s not the first time she’s had such a problem.
“One time I ordered a pan which could only fit half a potato,” she laughs.
Perhaps her next purchase should be a ruler?
