Meghan and Harry’s daughter Lilibet has no title… but her name means she’ll always feel entitled
GRANTED, they were never likely to call her Chardonnay.
But by naming their newborn daughter Lilibet “Lili” Diana, arch hypocrites Meghan and Harry Windsor have done it again — paying tribute to the very institution they have tried so hard to besmirch.
One they’ve tried so, so hard to distance themselves from both geographically and metaphorically.
Obviously the birth of their little girl is wonderful, happy news, and everyone — the Royal Family included — wishes them well.
It also means Prince Andrew is further bumped down the line of succession from eighth to ninth. So that’s a boon.
But for a couple so keen to promote diversity as one of their (admirable) causes, the decision not to pay tribute to Meghan’s beloved mum, Doria, seems a strange one. Not even Oprah got a look in.
Weeks after labelling the Royal Family racist, they’ve gone and honoured the very head of said family.
It also seems baffling they would choose to recognise the ultimate figurehead of the establishment Meghan claims drove her to suicidal thoughts.
Lilibet isn’t a Princess. Like her big brother, Archie, she won’t be titled.
But by maintaining their royal connection in such a blatant, contrived fashion, they have cunningly ensured that she will always be entitled.
Clinging on to those royal coattails from 5,000 miles away takes some doing. But they’re doing it.
Presumably a Spotify baby playlist will follow. (No nursery rhymes though, because we all know Baa Baa Black Sheep is racist).
Naturally, everything about the announcement of baby Lili was meticulously controlled by the couple and their PR team.
Despite being born at 11.40am on Friday, a statement wasn’t released for another 36 hours — quite possibly to ensure the Sunday newspaper they are currently suing couldn’t fill its boots.
Over recent decades, various female members of the Royal Family have been dragged out on to the steps of the Lindo Wing at St Mary’s hospital, often hours after giving birth, to give well-wishers a glimpse of their offspring.
Without exception, they’ve all looked knackered.
Clearly they’d rather be anywhere than in full make-up and heels, mechanically waving to a bunch of grinning strangers.
But it’s part of the job.
Kate Middleton, Sophie Wessex and the late Princess Diana all knew, and understood, you can’t enjoy the trappings of royalty — the palaces, the luxury, the clothes and the money — without giving something back.
Not Meghan, though.
OLIVE BRANCH?
Oh no. Yet to release an official pic of little Lilibet, when they finally put one out on their social media channels, or let Oprah do it, doubtless it’ll be artfully shot and showing as much — or as little — of Meg and Harry and their daughter as they see fit.
After all, £120million from Apple, Spotify and Netflix isn’t enough to keep a girl in sustainable dresses and private jets.
To their credit, they have asked fans to donate to one of four women’s charities in lieu of flowers. But after an exhaustive campaign of trashing Harry’s ancestors, of trashing the very heart of Great Britain, is that really enough?
The couple have said they are now on full parental leave.
According to their mouthpiece, Omid Scobie, they’ll take a full 20 weeks. So, fingers crossed, that’s 20 weeks’ respite for the rest of us.
There is no question Meghan and Harry will be doting, loving parents. And Lili will have an incredible, truly #blessed life.
She may not be a Princess but she will be their little princess.
And who knows, maybe this really is an olive branch being extended by the Duke and Duchess of Sussex.
Maybe it will heal relations — only time will tell.
Michaela is Bafta highlight
THE biggest Bafta winner was a woman few people had ever heard of until Sunday: Ita O’Brien.
The “intimacy co-ordinator and movement director” received a major shout-out from, Michaela Coel.
Michaela won Best Mini-Series for I May Destroy You. The hard-hitting show was based on her own experiences of having her drink spiked and being sexually assaulted.
In her acceptance speech she thanked Ita for “making the safe space for creating physical, emotional and professional boundaries so that we can make work about abuse of power without being abused in the process”.
Coming off the back of disgraced Noel Clarke being stripped of his Bafta following accusations of harassment and groping, it made for powerful viewing.
It was an otherwise underwhelming event. Mercifully, speeches were 30 seconds or under.
Perhaps host Richard Ayoade summed it up best: “In just two weeks the national lockdown may be lifted, but why wait til then to have the show? I like things with no atmosphere.”
So at least someone had a great night.
A Britt nasty
THE backhanded compliment of the week goes to Britt Ekland for this masterclass in damning praise.
Discussing her own botched lip fillers, the former Bond girl went on to praise fellow septuagenarian Helen Mirren’s good looks.
“She looks amazing. I wish I had her doctor!”, she said, sticking the (surgeon’s) knife right into Helen’s back.
Doubtless Helen – who has vehemently denied having cosmetic surgery, even Botox – will be thrilled. That, or consulting lawyers.
Statue fears
IT was wonderful to see the unveiling of the new D-Day memorial in Normandy.
The pillared arcades bear the names and ages of all 22,442 soldiers under British command who died on June 6, 1944, and in the subsequent Battle of Normandy.
But as more and more statues get ripped down or defaced – last week slave trader Edward Colston’s paint-splattered bronze statue was plonked sideways in a museum – how long until some po-faced moron finds offence in this beautiful, architect-designed piece of history?
Perhaps they’ll realise an officer once got a couple of detentions at school, or another stole sweets from the tuck shop.
And down it’ll go.
Telly's Mr Cig
NOTHING sums up Simon Cowell better than this photograph.
The Botox-filled, press-up obsessed, clean-eating, vitamin drip-infused, reduced-calorie-beer-drinking star was pictured with partner Lauren Silverman in the back of his Rolls Royce beside a portable oxygen tank designed to strengthen lung capacity . . . and a pack of 20 menthol cigarettes.
The first time I lunched with Simon, he arrived an hour late.
I had literally memorised both the menu and wine list by the time he deigned to swan in, and was getting looks of pity from all the waiting staff.
He then proceeded to nip out no fewer than seven times for a fag.
Of all the many fads Simon has tried over the years, I fear smoking will be the only one to stick.
Mother of all errors
STONEWALL is an absolutely brilliant charity that has done more for gay rights than any group in history.
But in its ongoing bid for “inclusivity”, the organisation has badly let itself down with its outlawing of the word “mother”.
Instead, they reckon, we should all be using the term “parent who has given birth”. Snappy.
This follows the BMA’s declaration that expectant mums be called “a pregnant person”, and after Brighton midwives were told to replace “breastfeeding” with “chest feeding”.
It’s all designed to help trans people – who have, unquestionably, had it rough over the years – feel more accepted.
But by causing such levels of derision, they are succeeding only in making an already marginalised community feel even more excluded.
Most read in News
Dan is out of order
DAN OSBORNE is nothing if not consistent.
The former Towie cretin – sacked from the reality show for reportedly threatening to stab his ex – has come out as an anti-vaxxer. Of course he has.
Dan took to Instagram to declare jabs “dangerous”, eloquently adding: “That s*** isn’t even going in me – never mind my kids.”
READ MORE SUN STORIES
With more than a million followers, the 29-year-old has a platform, and a civic responsibility, whether he likes it or not.
And with increasing numbers of millennial snowflake refuseniks, comments like these edge us one step closer to a bleak third wave.