Jack ‘The Jumper’ Nicholson’s warning for Leo DiCaprio: Pick one woman or end up alone
Sun columnist says ageing Hollywood heart-throb seems trapped in a permanent state of emotional adolescence
ONE glance at Leonardo DiCaprio’s holiday snaps and your average man might quip, “Where did it all go wrong, mate?”
These days, when he’s not wrestling with a fake bear in pursuit of Oscar glory, Hollywood’s most successful Lothario is getting to grips with A.N. Other model whose name usually escapes us (and probably him too) but who invariably ticks all his preferred boxes: Blonde, slim and gorgeous.
Quite why his fleeting amours wish to be the latest, soon-forgotten, notch on playboy Leo’s bedpost is anyone’s guess.
But, for him, the attraction is obvious.
A series of beautiful, interchangeable young women means he is endlessly enjoying the “honeymoon period” (minus the marriage bit) when everyone is presenting the best side of themselves and the peccadillos haven’t yet started to grate.
But the moment this year’s model suggests he should meet her parents or, God forbid, displays irritation that, say, his entourage of buddies are tagging along yet again, one suspects that the dialogue goes something like this. . .
“Honey, it’s been a great couple of months, but I’m about to start shooting Scorsese’s new movie about a misunderstood eco-warrior and I just won’t be able to give you the time and attention you deserve . . . see ya.”
Related stories
His relationships haven’t always been so blink-and-you-miss-’em.
In his early twenties, he was with supermodel Gisele Bundchen for six years followed by, er, supermodel Bar Refaeli for five.
Both women have gone on to marry and have children but, oddly for such an outstandingly mature actor, Leo appears trapped in a permanent state of emotional adolescence — the timescale of each relationship getting shorter, the girlfriends seemingly getting younger.
Hell, even his long-time best buddy Tobey Maguire is now married with two kids.
So now Leo is fast approaching 42, the eternal international playboy schtick is surely starting to feel a little hollow.
Perhaps he should take heed of remarks made recently by Hollywood’s former Lothario-in-chief Jack Nicholson who, unsurprisingly, is one of Leo’s heroes.
Now 79 and living alone, he lamented recently that he would like one last romance but: “No woman has ever recognised what I say as being legitimate. They don’t trust me.
“They think of my reputation, Jack the Jumper, so I’m damned by what women think.”
Indeed, but at least he has had children along the way who remain close to him and extol his virtues as a father.
So far, Leo remains childless, perhaps admirably so given the absence of a committed relationship.
Maybe his plan has always been to play the field for a while before settling down to something more meaningful in later life.
If so, the transition must surely come soon if he’s not to suffer the same romantic fate as “Jack the Jumper” and face an old age devoid of a genuine soulmate.
– PRINCE William says his son George was “far too spoiled” on his third birthday.
As opposed to the rest of the year when he’s living hand to mouth, poor love.
But I digress. Animal lovers have been getting themselves in a tizzy about the toddler offering his dog a lick of ice cream but they shouldn’t fret too much.
After all, it was a mere brush of the tongue, not a family-sized tub of rum and raisin.
And besides, over the years our Tibetan Terrier Jasper has eaten at least 30 unattended sausage rolls during the picnic season, about 15 ice creams snatched from the grasp of a toddler, around ten chocolatey fingers (biscuit variety, not human), six skirting boards, three dog beds, one trampoline and a partridge in a pear tree.
OK, I made the last one up but my point is that he has lived to wag his tail.
So calm down, dears.
Send in the old guard during next traveller invasion
RESIDENTS of Weeley in Essex formed a human shield around the entrance to the village green last week to prevent a group of travellers from setting up camp there.
Unfortunately for the convoy, it chose to arrive just as a parish council meeting was taking place in the nearby village hall, so the attendees rushed out to intervene.
One onlooker said: “Most of the parish council are retired ladies. I was really worried about their safety.”
Fear not, for after a 40-minute stalemate, the potential interlopers gave up and left.
Considering that it took Basildon council a decade to shift the resolutely immoveable Dale Farm “travellers”, perhaps a change of tactic is required if they attempt to return?
Send in the formidable “retired ladies”.
– THIS year’s Miss England competition had a new “eco” round in which contestants designed their own outfit from recycled clothes or objects.
One styled herself as a suffragette with a sash bearing the words “votes for women”.
Oh puh-lease. Hardly a giant leap for womankind, is it?
It all seems a rather exhausting, not to mention patronising, way to dress up what’s essentially still an old-fashioned beauty contest.
Keep speaking up about mental health, chaps
BARELY a day goes by without news reaching us of yet another mass killing of innocent people.
“Terrorism” is always our default battlecry but, sometimes, further investigation reveals it to be nothing more than the actions of a mentally ill young man from a troubled background peppered with depression and outbursts of violent anger.
Perhaps lives might have been saved if their problems had been identified earlier and they’d received expert help. Perhaps not.
But either way, the more that high-profile men like Prince Harry, Professor Green et al advocate that their gender should be more open about any mental health issues from a young age – be it depression, anger, a feeling of alienation or otherwise – the better for society as a whole.
– SOURCES close to our newly appointed Lord Chancellor Liz Truss have hit back at the “sexist” suggestion by some “dusty old relics” that she shouldn’t have got the job.
Hmmm. The criticism seemed to be aimed at her non-legal background, not her gender.
Upsetting and damaging sexism still exists in all too many workplaces.
But misusing it as a smokescreen to try to quash valid observation does no one any favours.
Germans follow yanks in post-Brexit drive to succeed
FIRST, US Secretary of State John Kerry has rowed back on President Obama’s threat to put the UK at “the back of the queue” for a trade deal if we left the EU.
And now German Chancellor Angela Merkel appears to be veering towards keeping open the free trade of goods with a post-Brexit Britain.
Smart woman.
The UK imports more than 800,000 cars from Germany each year and around half of the two million plus cars produced here are made by German companies.
The rest include German imported components.
Does anyone seriously think Ms Merkel will sacrifice her country’s motor industry on the altar of pique at Britain’s decision to leave the EU?
Nein. Me neither.
– IN an interview to promote her Spanish cookbook Nick Clegg’s wife Miriam Gonzalez Durantez is pictured under the headline: “My recipe for revenge? Feed the Tories red hot peppers and watch them splutter.”
Presumably, there aren’t enough padron peppers in the world to feed to the real architects of her husband’s demise – the millions of faithful Lib Dems who felt let down by lightweight Cleggy and voted him and his party into oblivion.