‘No’ is often the hardest word for a parent to say but it is the most important
It’s hard to find any common ground, or sympathy, with the “Off Grid” couple who were on ITV’s This Morning last week
BEING a parent is, let’s face it, the hardest job in the world.
But it’s hard to find any common ground, or sympathy, with the “Off Grid” couple who were on TV’s This Morning last week.
Adele, 32, and Matt Allen, 33, from Brighton, were justifying their approach to raising their children Ulysses, five, and Ostara, one.
This includes (just in case this story has passed you by) undisciplined home-schooling, allowing Ulysses to choose his own bedtime, breast-feeding them both until they choose to stop and avoiding doctors and vaccinations.
Oh, and they don’t believe in sun cream, either.
And when they were on the ITV show, they failed to intervene when their children were jumping on the sofa, roaming around the studio — and even when Ostara peed on the floor.
It’s easy to dismiss this kind of approach as bonkers, and watching them, I just thought, “Are they actually a bit mad?”
I knew they were at least slightly out to lunch when Adele said she squirts breast milk in her son’s eye to clear up any infections.
But whatever you think about the Allens, it does raise some interesting questions about what constitutes “good” parenting.
Take home-educating your kids.
You’d have to be seriously confident in your own abilities to take responsibility for matching the wealth of information and opportunities that school and qualified teachers can give you.
The best gift I received from my parents was a great education and in my experience, you can’t amount to much these days without it.
Also, children have to learn to mix with other people — not just people who have the same views.
They need to learn social skills, one of the key parts of a child’s early years.
They really are an essential part of life, as anyone who hopes to integrate enough with society to get a job needs to start learning that skill early.
Ulysses picks his own bedtime, which works, I guess, because he doesn’t have to get up for school so just wakes when he wants.
My outlook is, largely, “each to their own”.
But everyone in life has to do things they don’t want to, whether that’s at school, university or work.
And letting a child pick his own bedtime doesn’t start them off on the right track.
Children need discipline.
They have to know the difference between right and wrong and in the early days the only people on hand to teach them are their parents.
If kids were left to their own devices they’d have ice cream for breakfast and spend the day playing on their computer.
And it’s tough saying “No” all the time to people you love so much — in fact, it’s the hardest word to say.
But it’s probably the most important word in a parent’s vocabulary.
The whole point of being a parent is to put your kids on the right path.
As far as I can tell, the Allens treat their son as an equal.
Apparently he’s “sensitive”, so can’t handle authority.
Sounds like he just doesn’t like being told off.
What child does?
All parents need to realise that without discipline and respect, children won’t develop the skills they need to be independent adults.
And when parents refuse to vaccinate — safe in the knowledge that killer diseases such as smallpox and polio have been wiped out in this country as a result of vaccinations — it’s a bit like saying, “You vaccinate your kids so we don’t have to”.
Although if their children do catch a disease, since they don’t go to doctors, I guess they’ll treat them with plants and breast milk.
“Off-grid” is not a parenting technique, more a lazy cop out.
Their family mantra seems to be “take it easy” or more likely in this case, “take it easier”.
Shunning rules because they can’t be bothered to enforce them.
Kids need love but they also need discipline.
They need self-esteem, but they also need rules.
A lot of these parenting decisions are idealistic to the point of insanity at best, deeply selfish at worst.
And if Social Services weren’t monitoring them already, I’m sure they will be now.
LEO’S NOT ONE FOR ACTING UP
DID you see the bevy of beauties that Leonardo DiCaprio gathered together on a yacht in St. Tropez to raise money for his conservation foundation?
He’s such a superstar that you can imagine him being a bit full of himself, but I can personally report that he’s admirably down-to-earth.
I know this because when he once offered me a puff of his electronic cigarette at a party, he was so low key I didn’t even recognise him.
In my defence, he looked quite scruffy and had a cap on.
I didn’t want the cigarette but didn’t want to be rude so asked him what he did.
I know a fair few celebrities who’d take umbrage and say: “Do you know who I am?”
He just said: “I’m a bit of an actor, what do you do?”
—WHY has there been so much criticism about Pippa Middleton’s engagement ring?
She is marrying a millionaire for goodness’ sake.
What’s she supposed to be flashing – an Elizabeth Duke ring from Argos?
— I’M full of admiration for the wonders of modern science but the news that it’s now possible to reverse the menopause had me scratching my head.
If this is for young women who have had early menopause then great, but what woman in her right mind would want to go back to having periods?
Mother nature does things for a reason.
All I can say is, no thank you!
HIGH HEEL LEAVE IS NO TALL STORY
COULD it really be true that the British economy loses as much as £260million each year through high heel-related sick leave?
According to voice and communication coach Helen Sewell, it is.
Giving written evidence to a Petitions Committee inquiry on the effect of dress codes in the workplace, Ms Sewell said entrenched attitudes towards high heels could lead to a “generation of women with serious health problems” as the physical damage associated with
“inappropriate footwear” leads to women taking sick leave.
The inquiry, by the way, was set up after an e-petition of more than 150,000 signatures was brought to Parliament calling for it to be made illegal to require women to wear heels at work.
The millions lost is a huge amount of money.
Although how statistics like that are calculated, goodness only knows.
But what’s really shocking is that it takes the threat of our economy losing vast sums to get the message through to people.
And by people, I mainly mean men, since it’s mainly men who would even consider making women wear high heels at work.
Isn’t it a shame that a financial “case” has to be made to justify that absolutely archaic concept of forcing women to wear something if they find it to be constricting, uncomfortable or even painful.
But I guess that’s what it takes for men to actually listen and be given a “good enough” reason to stop controlling women.
Let’s hope it works and we can do away with these ridiculous rules.
SUN TURNS US PEPTO DISMAL
HOT weather always makes me proud to be British.
The minute the sun comes out, we are all so overexcited that we start sunbathing in our underwear and lie like starfish outside for hours on end to make the most of it.
I am no exception (well, apart from the underwear bit, maybe).
My husband tans so easily he goes brown in the airport on the way to the sunshine, whereas the minute I see the sun I go various shades of pink, from Pepto-Bismol to spam, then get heat rash.
And, like most Brits, I moan incessantly about how cold and wet it is most of the time.
Then what happens when the sun makes an appearance for more than two days on end?
We moan it’s too hot!
—WOW, have you seen Heidi Klum recently?
She’s a walking example of forties being the new twenties.
Everyone seems to be getting younger and looking after themselves more and Heidi’s results are there for all to see.
Although how many hours she spends each week at the gym and hairdresser’s is anyone’s guess.