If foreign tourists are flying into the UK, why can’t we fly out?

LIKE most residents of South West London, I live under one of the Heathrow flight paths.

And let me tell you, while the PM continues to insist that we can’t fly anywhere without good reason, planes are still landing here with baffling regularity.

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In the duration of writing this piece alone, I have counted at least 25.

Begging the question: If a global CEO can conduct most of their business via Zoom, who are all these passengers for whom travel is regarded as “essential?”

The answer, it seems, is that approximately 20,000 people are arriving in the UK each day and 40 per cent — around 8,000 — are “holidaymakers” arriving from other countries.

According to Border Force figures released last week, up to 80 or 90 per cent of people passing through Gatwick Airport and the Eurostar terminal at London’s St Pancras station are holidaymakers, compared with between 20 and 30 per cent landing at Heathrow.

A Border Force agency staff member told The Times that one visa was granted to a tourist from Peru who gave their reason for travelling to the UK as “to visit Big Ben”.

They added: “As long as they’ve got an address where they say they’ll quarantine, and they’ve completed their pre-departure tests, they’ve got their certificates and everything else, they’ve got means and a return ticket, we’ve got no grounds to refuse them.”

LIFE INVOLVES RISK

I have no issue with Covid-tested tourists coming here. But what’s frustratingly illogical is that, despite having one of the most effective vaccination programmes in the world, we Brits remain grounded for the foreseeable future.

Surely it’s time for some two-way traffic?

The Home Office says it does not recognise the figures and insists “tough health measures” are being enforced at our airports, train stations and ports, but as the sky above me rumbles with plane after plane coming in to land here, either they’re all empty or the Government is clueless.

After Monday’s much-hyped announce­ment, I’m opting for the latter.

For the past week, government sources have let it be known that a “traffic light system” for travel would be announced — meaning that holidays to certain low-risk destinations could be a possibility this summer. It lifted the nation’s mood.

Then some scientist whispered “variant” and “potential third lockdown” in the PM’s ear and suddenly the ban on non-essential travel abroad remains in place, with various doom-mongers saying there will be no foreign holidays for the rest of this year.

But why? The vaccines were trumpeted as our road back to freedom and around 32million people — including the most vulnerable — have now had at least one jab. By summer the figure will be even higher.

So, other than political caution, there’s no reason why we shouldn’t be returning to normal life — including flying to “green” or “amber” foreign climes if we wish to and giving a much-needed boost to the ailing travel industry.

Viruses mutate and always will, and life (if actually lived properly rather than cooped up) will always involve an element of risk.

This will never change, so are we to stay grounded and socially distanced for ever?

Harry cuts a lone figure so far away from family

On the same day that Prince Charles and The Queen posed for a photograph in the grounds of Frogmore, Prince Harry was papped walking his dog on a Californian beach.

Frogmore was the UK home of Harry and Meghan and, had things turned out differently, they might have joined his father and grandmother for their Easter stroll.

Better still, their son Archie would get to spend time with The Queen and Prince Philip in the final few years of their lives.

Instead, they’re 5,000 miles away and Harry cuts a very solitary figure.

Not for the first time, one wonders whether it was all worth it.

Riri’s a mad hatter

This is Rihanna popping out to the shops in a £2k fur hat and £11k designer jeans.

As you do.

The singer was browsing the shelves of a store in Los Angeles, where this sort of outlandish attire is par for the course.

Over here she’d be regarded as the “local eccentric”.

Brush with deaf

Text scam gangs have made around £54million in the past year.

One of the most lucrative frauds has been the “Royal Mail” message sent to millions of UK phones claiming that a £2.99 shipping fee needs to be paid on a parcel before it can be delivered.

Luckily, when my elderly mother received it, her lack of tech know-how meant she walked to her local post office to ask about it – so no harm was done.

After she told me, I relayed the story to The Bloke.

Then, the very next day, he received the same message and typed in the details of his credit card, which has now had to be cancelled. Duh.

Proof, if needed, that he never listens to a word I say.

Wise words from Tom

Phil Collins and his ex-wife Orianne Bates continue to throw mud at each other over their ugly divorce.

Orianne, 47, who has two teenage sons with the 70-year-old singer, said this week that: “He painted me like a f***ing bitch.”

And she in turn painted him as an alcohol-fuelled depressive who stopped showering and couldn’t have sex.

She is now happily married to 31-year-old Thomas Bates, who says: “I want them to have a good relationship together for the sake of their kids.

“There are graduations and marriages and all these milestones. That is much bigger than all of this as far as I’m concerned.”

He may be younger than both of them by some margin, but he sounds infinitely more mature.

Logic flags

Students protesting about the Union Jack being flown at London’s Pimlico Academy because “there ain’t no black in Jack” might wish to do a little geography homework on the world’s flags.

Because, according to an eagle-eyed reader, there’s no black in 33 of the 57 flags of mainland African countries either.

“The colour of a nation’s flag does not indicate the colour of its population,” she writes.

Quite.

Splendid isolation

A sea fort situated off the Isle of Wight is on sale for £4.25million.

Pre-lockdown, the prospect of splendid isolation might have sounded tempting.

But after so long trapped at home with little or no social contact, the thought of being marooned on your own private island now holds little appeal.