My violent dad trashed our home and abused my mum – lockdown means many scared kids are now witnessing domestic violence
ONE of Daisy Kneer's earliest memories is of her toy box covered in blood and broken glass, after her dad trashed the family home. She was four years old.
The reason for such a violent outburst? Her mum - who'd endured years of violence and abuse - had finally dared to ask him for a divorce and to leave.
It’s a heartbreaking scene, but with one in five children in the UK exposed to domestic violence, it's not uncommon.
Domestic abuse also accounted for one in five offences recorded by police during and immediately after the first national lockdown in England and Wales. Now there are real concerns about the impact lockdown will have on victims.
Additionally, calls to the NSPCC helpline about children living in homes with domestic abuse have increased by a monthly average of 49 per cent since lockdown measures were first introduced.
‘You have to constantly walk on eggshells’
Daisy, now 21, grew up witnessing the emotional and physical abuse of her mum, Charlotte - now a domestic violence refuge worker and campaigner - at the hands of her dad, Wayne Prior.
Her parents split when she was young, but Daisy's dad continued to exert emotional control over her and her family, and she witnessed his violence towards his other partners.
She says: “I was four when they split so I don’t remember much from when they were together but we had to all walk on eggshells.
“One time he got a knife out in front of my little sister and told my mum she should stab him. He was very emotionally manipulative and he would text me threatening to kill himself or use us to make contact with my mum.
“He would make us feel bad and guilty if we didn’t see him and call me thick.
“I thought what I had was normal until I went round friends' houses and saw what their dads were like.”
'I'm still terrified I'll bump into him'
It wasn’t until Daisy was 11 that her dad was arrested, and was sentenced to seven years in prison after pleading guilty to seven counts of actual bodily harm.
He was also found guilty of two counts of making threats to kill and one of common assault against the three women including Daisy’s mum Charlotte, and was sentenced to seven years.
Daisy hasn’t had any contact with her dad since then, but the impact is long-lasting.
She says: “I just wanted him to be a normal dad. He’s blocked from all parts of our lives but I’m still terrified I’ll bump into him one day.
“It really sticks with you and I suffer anxiety and nightmares still.”
‘Children are trapped with nowhere to turn’
While domestic violence has always been a problem, with ongoing lockdowns and subsequent job and money worries, it has unfortunately become even more of an issue than ever before.
Penelope says: “The children are so joyful and confident now. I’ve made sure they know they can talk to me about anything so we can talk about it when they’re ready.
"[This can often lead] to flashbacks, nightmares, emotional numbing, anxiety and difficulty forming and maintaining healthy adult relationships.
"Children who grew up with domestic violence in their homes are more likely to be in violent relationships as adults, with some evidence suggesting this can be up to twice as likely as a child who didn’t.
"When children see violence between their parents or primary care givers, it can become normalised and something they go on to imitate in later life.”
Children and young people can speak with a Childline counsellor confidentially online or on the phone, via or 0800 1111.
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Adults concerned about a child’s wellbeing can contact the NSPCC helpline on 0808 800 5000 or email help@nspcc.org.uk.
Some names have been changed to protect identity.