Hilarious eBay description of car owner trying to flog his Nissan Micra for £295
His 1,000-word rant describes the 17-year-old banger as 'yellow, basic, and quite nasty'
A MOTORIST flogging his luminous old banger took 'honesty is the best policy' to the extreme when he told potential buyers: "I could tell you this car is absolutely fantastic...but I'd be lying my little head off".
The seller wrote more than 1,000 words about his 17-year-old Nissan Micra 1.0 when he put it up for sale on eBay for £295.
He thought he'd managed to secure a buyer but it turned out a hamster had walked across the would-be customer's phone and accidentally pressed 'buy it now'.
Determined to be free of the bright yellow car, the man posted pictures of his car on eBay as a last-ditch attempt to persuade someone to take it off his hands.
During his hilariously sarcastic 1,000-word rant, he said: "I could tell you that this car is absolutely fantastic, a pleasure to drive, has all mod cons.....But I'd be lying my little head off!!!
"To my surprise, and amazement if I'm honest, the little bag of death has got me to work and back every morning with no problems whatsoever."
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He added: "What I can tell you, is its one of the yellowest cars in existence, and its slow, but it is good on fuel. it doesn't have central locking, but the car is that small its not far to reach across and unlock the passenger door from the drivers seat, so that's a bonus.
";There is also this weird slot in the middle of the radio. I originally thought it was to slide your phone into but it turns out its for something called a tape?
"From what I can work out these were around in the early 1700s so if you buy this car, you're actually buying a piece of history."
The seller describes the car's qualities as having a sunroof and no electric windows which will help people stay fit when they have to open them manually.
He asks would-be buyers not to expect 24 years' warranty or enough fuel in it to get to the nearest petrol station.
Car is sold as seen so make sure you bring your glasses.
Motorist
He adds: "The car is yellow, its basic, its quite nasty to be fair, there is rust on the drivers wing, lacquer peel on the spoiler, but its only done a genuine 67,000 miles and seems to be reliable and drives really well.
"If you want a little run around, buy this car, if you want something flash, then don't, if you have any shame at all, then don't.
"The car is not available on finance, its 300 pounds sterling for gods sake, just turn up, look impressed, pay me the money in cash and drive away into an unknown certainty of driving pleasure before telling your friends about the amazing bargain you got on eBay and how good it is on fuel.
"If you're too embarrassed to drive this car through fear of losing your street cred, don't let that little problem enter your head.
"You're reading this advert for a Micra, which means you were looking for a Micra, which means you have no street cred to lose.
"Car is sold as seen so make sure you bring your glasses."
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