CRUEL SPLIT
Heartbreaking moment gran, 85, with dementia breaks down in tears as daughter can’t come into care home for hug
THIS heartbreaking moment shows a gran who has dementia breaking down in tears after being told her daughter could not come into her care home for a hug.
Tracy Gothard captured the clip while she was visiting her mum Doreen Morris, 85, at Bierley Court nursing home in Bradford, West Yorks, on October 29.
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At the start of the clip, Doreen can be seen with a big smile on her face after spotting her daughter Tracy, 51, at the window of the home.
The great-great gran then asks Tracy to "come in" and motions with her hands, to which her daughter replies: "I can't come in, we're not allowed yet because of that nasty bug."
Tracy asks her mum to ";blow her a kiss" but the pensioner starts to cry.
Mum-of-two Tracy described the moment as "heartbreaking" and has released the video in order to change the "unhealthy" rules around care home visits.
"When my mum comes out she just wants to hug me and put her arms around me, and I just want to do the same," she said.
"Because of her dementia she doesn't understand why we can't, which is what you can see in the video - she wants me to go inside.
"It's heartbreaking to see her react like that, I feel exactly the same as her as well. I want to go in and give her a cuddle."
Tracy added: "My mum had a life before all this, she would go out all the time, she would dance, see family and have a good time, now all that is gone.
"She's like a prisoner in her own home," she said.
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The window meeting between Tracy and Doreen, who has been a resident at the home for two years, was their first one since August, when Bradford was placed under Tier Three lockdown measures.
Tracy, who works in customer service, said she "loves" the home itself and the staff who work there but admits there's a "problem with the system".
"I want to be able to go into my mum's home and show her that I haven't forgotten about her, that I still love her," she said.
Tracy's idea is to have at least one family member tested for coronavirus, who would then be allowed to enter the home to visit their loved one.
She said: "I think that is the best way around this, we need to start seeing our elderly people again one way or another.
"If workers at these care homes can have a test then enter then I don't see why I can't too.
"I understand safety is paramount but we need to strike a balance at the same time.
"My mum is deteriorating quickly, she's very depressed and anxious over what's going on, although she doesn't fully understand why."
Tracy supports the Right for Residents scheme - a campaign which is seeking to end the restrictions when visiting loved ones in care homes.
Retired cleaner Doreen, who was diagnosed with dementia around 12 years ago, has seven children, 18 great grandchildren and six great-great grandchildren.
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The 51-year-old said: "She's such a fun-loving person, she loves to get up and have a dance, she's a little party animal really.
"She loves getting out and about and enjoying herself.";
Since August, Tracy has only been able to see Doreen from the car park of the care home and in video calls.
"We now face another lockdown so who knows when we will be able to see each other properly again.
"Something needs to change," she said.
In July it was reported that almost 30,000 more care-home residents died in the early part of the coronavirus outbreak compared with the same period in 2019.
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Of that total, two-thirds were directly attributable to Covid, the ONS said.
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