The ‘rule of six’ is an unnecessary, unworkable and largely unenforceable mess
A GROUP of Tory MPs have a new WhatsApp group called “What the f*** is going on?”
Can 66million others join?
Because I’ve yet to meet anyone who knows the answer — not least since the latest, “rule of six” directive from our seemingly directionless Government.
From what I can fathom, it boils down to the reality that I can invite five complete strangers into my house on an hourly rotation throughout the week — which, on a 9-to-5 basis, would total 280 people crossing my threshold — but I’m not allowed to have my usual Sunday lunch for seven members of our family.
Unless we’re taking part in a sporting activity between courses or hunting grouse.
As for Christmas, well, my elderly mother and brother-in-law will just have to go elsewhere or my neighbour might call the police.
Except they probably won’t come because, as the Police Federation rightly pointed out, they’re far too busy dealing with knife crime.
What an unholy, unnecessary, un-workable and largely unenforceable mess.
Worse, it has lost the goodwill of the generally law-abiding British public, most of whom understand the need for caution when shielding the vulnerable but take exception to being treated like toddlers placed on the naughty step.
Back in April, Sweden’s former state epidemiologist, Professor Johan Giesecke, was asked to explain the thinking behind his country’s policy not to implement lockdown and replied: “The headline of the Swedish policy is that people are not stupid.”
He added: “If you tell them what’s good for them and what’s good for the rest of the population, they will follow your advice because they understand it. You don’t need laws, you don’t need police on the streets.”
Hear, hear.
Of course, there will always be those who act irresponsibly and repeatedly hold large gatherings, but they will do so whether there’s a rule of six or not. In extreme cases, such as raves, that’s when the police should step in.
Instead, the whole class is being punished for their actions.
Professor Giesecke said that whenever lockdown in the UK was eased, numbers would rise again. And that’s exactly what happened. But in Sweden, where there was no lockdown and no school/bar/shop closures, there’s no second spike and the economy is far more stable than ours is going to be once furlough ends next month.
It’s patently clear that, until there’s a vaccine, these irritatingly narrow restrictions on normal family life will make little difference in the long run because in a democracy you can’t keep locking people up and, once those rules are lifted, the cases (not to be confused with “deaths”) will rise again.
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Many epidemiologists will tell you that collective immunity is the only way a viral epidemic will lose its grip and that, like flu, there’s a chance Covid will become a seasonal disease that, once a vaccine has been found, has to be treated with caution by the elderly and vulnerable.
In the meantime, telling people they can frequent a train/bus/pub/restaurant/office with any number of strangers but not have a family gathering of more than six in their own home or elsewhere because they might “kill Granny” is alarmist nonsense that treats us all like idiots.
Earlier in the year, we stuck our heads out of our doors and windows to rightly cheer the astonishing efforts of our frontline NHS staff at the height of the pandemic.
But six months on, perhaps it’s time for us all to channel news anchor Howard Beale from the 1976 movie Network and, in his words, “stick your head out and yell, ‘I’m as mad as hell and I’m not going to take this any more’.”
Parc 'n' hide
AS a rule, I’ve never been a rule-breaker. But for the rule of six, I’m going to make an exception. Or, at the very least, stretch the interpretation.
For October half-term we’ve booked a UK break at Center Parcs for us, our two adult daughters and their live-in boy-friends, and our youngest with a schoolmate she’s in class with every day.
But that’s eight in total, so now what? Cancel? Dump the boyfriends?
Nope. Despite having a four-bed lodge, I have now booked a room in a nearby pub for the oldest and her boyfriend to stay in at night – while we all continue to enjoy the daily activities on offer, in rotating groups of six along with other, er, complete strangers.
Go figure.
Oi Lily, that's my Elvis
CONGRATULATIONS to Lily Allen and Stranger Things actor David Harbour on their marriage in Las Vegas.
The couple, who have been together for more than a year, chose the Graceland Wedding Chapel for their special day, above, as did The Bloke and I when we renewed our vows there in 2017.
We even had the same Elvis impersonator, right.
There were a couple of noticeable difference, though. Lily wore a gorgeous, Sixties-style Dior frock while, given the spontaneous nature of our ceremony, mine was a cheap-as-chips white cotton sundress.
And while Lily’s two young daughters were clearly thrilled to be there, our three older offspring were fist-chewingly mortified – a slam-dunk for their mischievous parents whose sole aim was exactly that.
Apparently, we were “the most embarrassing parents ever . . . ” until we exited the chapel and bumped into the next bride and groom who, along with their two murderous-looking teenage sons, were all dressed as The Flintstones.
Bojo to, er, bozo
O BORIS, where art thou?
The ebullient, spunky, not-so-lean winning machine who romped into Downing Street with a stonking 80-seat majority just ten months ago has seemingly left the building – replaced physically and psycho- logically by a shadow of his former self.
Covid-19 has him on the ropes.
Being a winner is one thing. But being a true leader is forged in crisis, and Boris has been found sorely lacking.
In her deliciously frank memoir, Sasha Swires, whose husband Hugo is the former Tory MP for East Devon, describes the PM thus . . .
“For all his hinterland and hot young vixen [Carrie Symonds] Boris just came across as someone who is desperately lonely and unhappy on the inside.”
And it certainly seems that way.
BoJo has lost his mojo. And if he doesn’t regain it soon and show leader- ship through this deeply challenging time, he’ll lose the country too.
Ivana takes on Loose Women
AFTER challenging Ivana Trump’s jaw-dropping comments about migrants on Monday’s Loose Women, I’m now left wondering why she and “The Donald” ever split up.
They’re clearly a match made in heaven.
Life's a twitch
ONE of the many lock- down legacies is that kids have twitchy fingers in the classroom after playing so many computer games in the past few months.
Most read in Jane Moore
Join the club. Though mine have little to do with gaming, as I haven’t done it since Space Invaders.
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No, according to “Dr Google”, I have dev- eloped a rather painful condition called “trigger finger” (nope, me neither) in my smallest digits.
I’m doing daily finger stretches and taking turmeric shots but, if anyone else has any bright ideas on how to get rid of it, I’d be grateful.
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