Future is ugly for Osborne… pretty for Priti
Sun columnist believes Chancellor is making ‘hysterical’ forecasts about Brexit
GEORGE OSBORNE is such a fraud. The Chancellor, who has gone all slim and Caesar-like of late, couldn’t tell you what either his waistline or his hairline will look like next week but confidently forecasts that in 2030 the UK economy will be 6.6 per cent worse off if we Brexit. It’s Brollocks.
Nobody can forecast what will happen in 16 years’ time, with two exceptions — Mick Jagger will look worse and the 8.11 will be delayed.
Just look back 16 years to 2000. Could you have worked out:
- That today Tony Blair would be a property speculator in the UK but making even more money travelling the world and offering advice to dictators.
- That today Gordon Brown would now be considered the worst, and not the best, Chancellor of all time after leaving the country on its knees when kicked out by the voters.
- That today the Royal Bank of Scotland would be owned by the State after going bust with a deal too far. Back then the CEO was viewed as Businessman of the Millennium, while today he can be seen pushing a broom somewhere in Jockistan.
Column reader Sally Stevens, who lives out Windsor way, had her Saga insurance upped from £299 to £360 without explanation and went on a switching site and got it for £201.
It’s not only Saga rooking you. Column reader Graham Rose was paying £1,200 with Lloyds Bank (By your side? More likely by your wallet) and he switched for the same cover at £233.
You can get a pretty good holiday for that £1,000. Not Saga, I trust.
INSTEAD of finding lurve on Match.com Culture Secretary John Whittingdale found a dominatrix.
He might have been lucky, as I am told some women on dating sites have now deployed the OIL strategy in their hunt for a partner.
They are looking for old, ill and loaded.
Disgraceful
Don in a million
I spotted Donny Osmond in Leicester Square being unfailingly polite to the public, posing for endless selfies and photos.
He’s been around the top in showbiz for 50 years but hasn’t lost an ounce of humility.
— GOING to a funeral, I needed the address of Medway Crematorium in Kent so I went online and was amazed to see they were seeking reviews. What are you supposed to say about a crematorium
The fire wasn’t hot enough? The curtains closed too slowly? Why was there so much crying? Ridiculous.
LOOK at the hairline of England and Manchester City goalkeeper Joe Hart, I suspect he won’t be doing Head & Shoulders TV ads much longer but he should be reassured there will be good money from the manufacturers of Mr Sheen multi-purpose polish.
— DON’T all get your hankies out now but a Surrey estate agent tells me that thanks to the size of stamp duty you can’t sell ANY house in the South East for more than £2million for love nor money and haven’t been able to for the past six months.
On the uber swanky St George’s Hill estate, in Weybridge, Surrey, where palaces go for between £5million and £20million, I hear there are now 40 of these joints on the market.
I have an uneasy feeling about where this is all leading. A price crash at the top end is an absolute certainty.
Getting punny
There’s some belters today:
Coal merchant in London-derry – Flaming Grate.
Butcher’s van in Redruth, Cornwall – Being vegetarian is a big meat steak.
On a plasterer’s van in Basingstoke, Hants – Fat Boy Skim.
Italian café in Bromley, Kent – Eat-Taly.
Gardener’s van in Sheffield – Leaf it to Me.
On the side of a gas fitter’s van in Swansea – Green Green Gas of Home.
Skip lorry in Ivybridge, Devon – Dusty Bin.
Mobile catering van in Gainsborough, Lincs – Pulp Kitchen.
Indian restaurant in Shirley, Birmingham – The Shirley Temple.
Indian street food vendor in Reigate, Surrey – Brothers in Naans.
Wool shop in Pontarddulais, Swansea – A Good Yarn.
Hairdressers in St Austell, Cornwall – Eclipse.
Laundry van on the M62 – Soapranos.
Shopfitter’s van on the M4 – Screwing Things Up Since 1961.
Allegedly seen on the rear of an undertakers van in Lancashire – No body kept on this vehicle overnight!
Please keep those Punnies coming to kelvin@the-sun.co.uk.
THIS must be the news photo of the year. Not taken in Raqqa but down a country lane in Derbyshire, where the local council – sick and tired of fly tippers at a beauty spot – had placed hidden cameras.
And that’s where they nabbed a creep called Richard Weston dumping a broken old dishwasher.
He was fined £215 with £1,000 costs. Not severe enough.
There are lanes all over the country blighted by these fly tippers and the courts should get tougher with them.
They should face fines closer to £10,000 than £215.
Perhaps they might be tipped into jail. That’s a form of dumping I would approve of.
HOORAY for England manager Roy Hodgson for being brave enough – after all, he is employed by the FA which will carry out disciplinary action against Jamie Vardy – to say Leicester’s star striker should never have been sent off during Sunday’s game.
The wholly unwarranted red card may cost Leicester the title, in which case referee Jon Moss might find it as dangerous to be in Leicester on a Saturday night as it would be for me in Liverpool.
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