Fear of vile abuse stops gay footie aces coming out like Thomas Beattie
RESPECT to ex-footballer Thomas Beattie – who has made the brave decision to come out as being gay.
I cannot tell you how much I wish it had not needed to be such a brave decision.
But given that the ex-Hull City player is only the fourth male professional footballer to do this, you have to conclude there are others who have felt unable to do the same.
I find it so incredibly sad, in 2020, that people still feel a sense of shame and secrecy about their sexuality.
For some reason, the same culture of repression does not dominate women’s football.
At the Women’s World Cup last year, for example, there were at least 41 gay and bisexual women players or coaches.
Beattie must now feel a colossal sense of relief.
But it is sad and problematic that he felt he could only come out as a gay man once he had stopped playing football.
It highlights the fact that football has a serious problem.
SERIOUS PROBLEM
In 2018, according to the Office of National Statistics, 2.2 per cent of the population identified as lesbian, gay or bisexual.
Other studies — the Kinsey Report being the most high-profile — see the number as being closer to one in ten.
Whatever the figure, though, it is clearly not reflected in the world of Premier League football at the moment, where there is still not one openly gay footballer currently playing the game.
Football could be the only profession or sector of society that attracts solely heterosexual men.
But I know that is not the case because, over my 30 years working in the game, I have known gay players who did not, have not and will not come out.
I feel confident in my assess-ment that the problem, and preju-dice, is not rooted in the players, coaches, managers or anyone working in the football industry — but pressure from fans.
We know there are gay players — I have had one at my own club, West Ham, who told me quietly of his sexuality. Thomas Hitzlsperger later came out publicly in 2014 — after he retired. Yet everyone in the inner circle at our club knew he was gay and really didn’t care.
All that mattered to me was what he did on the pitch, not what he did in his private life.
I am not sure why he felt he had to tell me, over a coffee in the boardroom. He just felt comfortable because he knew there would be no judgment.
NO JUDGEMENT
And most of all because he knew I would not care less. And I did not. It was not an issue to me — nor for his teammates or his manager.
No, I think it’s the risk of abuse and prejudice from the fans that stops footballers from coming out publicly as gay.
That, and the fear of being different. After all, how many young people do you know who want to be different from the rest of their peer group?
Nor do they want to be defined by their sexuality.
Competition is also a powerful force, and not always for good. Opposition fans will use anything at all to gain an advantage, to get into the players’ heads and unsettle them.
To be fair, who wants to hear chants about their sexuality for 90 minutes?
Would you fancy having 60,000 people screaming at you about anything at all, let alone your sex life? When you think of it like that, it is really no wonder that players see it as safer not to reveal personal details.
Looking back at a column I wrote in this newspaper in 2016, about football and homophobia, it is a bit depressing to see that really not much has changed since then, as evidenced by the lack of gay role models in football.
Still, there are some positives.
In my view, the game is much less macho than it ever was.
Players are thoughtful, professional and sensitive, focused on playing the game and using their status to highlight issues such as child poverty.
So the issue lies in the pressure or abuse they suspect they would be subjected to from the match-day crowd.
Perfectly respectable people — who would no more shout homophobic abuse at others on the commute home, than wear a jester’s hat at a funeral — feel free to hurl vile abuse at footballers while hiding in the crowd.
It does not take much imagination to understand how difficult this would be for a player to hear for 90 minutes every week.
Wag row a waste of £500k
REBEKAH Vardy has launched a £1million lawsuit against Coleen Rooney following their spat last year, when Coleen said stories had been leaked about her from Rebekah’s account on social media.
Rebekah, 38, wife of Leicester City striker Jamie, denied any knowledge and has filed papers to take on Coleen – wife of former Manchester United striker Wayne – in the High Court.
The wrangle could cost each side £500,000 in legal fees.
This whole sorry saga started when Coleen issued a statement saying stories about her had been leaked, which were only visible from Rebekah’s account. The upshot was that Rebekah got publicly lynched on social media.
On the one hand, I can see why Rebekah wants to clear her name. If you have the money and feel you are innocent, I can understand the desire to get the truth out there.
But life is short – and we know that more than ever during these days of the pandemic.
So how about everyone just moves on?
I can certainly think of plenty of better ways to spend £500,000.
Destroy's a really grim joy
IF you have not started watching I May Destroy You on BBC1, I urge you to start.
It has been described as a “consent drama” but is really about what happens when consent is removed from a situation.
It’s a story about a successful writer, Arabella, played by the drama’s creator Michaela Coel, who is attacked during a night out after her drink is spiked.
Over the course of the series, she tries to make sense of flashbacks, to work out what happened to her.
It sounds heavy but really is not. It captures wonderfully the toxic London scene – as seen through the endless wild nights out and friendships of your twenties before family and real responsibilities.
It is done without lecturing or salaciousness – a rare quality – and is excellent.
Hair we go...
WHAT a difference the easing of lockdown makes, eh?
Having spent months moaning that my hair looks like Rapunzel’s and my nails and toes look like the Billy Goats Gruff, I am ashamed to admit I’m already moaning that the pressure is on to go and get a hairdo, now that salons are about to open.
There is no pleasing some people. Am I right?
What a faff for a pint
AS we approach the end of lockdown next Saturday, I think I might know what you are thinking: We are not getting our lives back, at all.
There are six words dominating our vocabulary – social distancing, staying safe and new normal.
I am trying to work out how normal can be new, and how you can be social at a distance. If you are staying safe, you really are only simply existing – which is about as low a quality of life as you can get.
From Saturday, you can go to the pub but, if you do, you will have to stand one metre away from anyone else, order your drink via an app then leave your name and address and wait for the dreaded call that someone has C-19 and you have to go into self-isolation for 14 days.
What a faff for a pint.
Similarly, those children “lucky” enough to be back at school must not touch each other and must move around in small bubbles – again, wondering every day whether or not they will be told to instigate their own personal lockdown if someone else in their bubble shows coronavirus symptoms.
Meanwhile, if you want to go to a protest with thousands of strangers in close proximity, no problem whatsoever.
You can see how people are confused, and cheesed off, with all this.
Most read in Opinion
Lay off Trump Junior
SAY what you like about Donald Trump, and plenty do.
But whatever you think of him, it is unfair for anyone commenting on his politics to bring his children into it.
I’m talking about US comic John Henson, who has rightly been taken to task by Trump’s wife Melania for making “inappropriate and insensitive comments” about their teenaged son Barron.
It came after Henson tweeted that he hoped “Barron gets to spend Father’s Day with whoever his dad is”.
READ MORE SUN STORIES
There is something very distasteful about a grown man picking on a kid to score a cheap political point.
Also, being a teenager is hard enough without having to read rubbish like this.
GOT a story? RING The Sun on 0207 782 4104 or WHATSAPP on 07423720250 or EMAIL [email protected]