It’s a relief Boris Johnson is back at the helm to steer a clear way forward for Britain
BORIS JOHNSON was back in action on Monday and, after weeks of robotic stand-ins and feeling rudderless, it was a relief to see his hands back on the wheel.
He has a way with words, does Boris. Despite being “posh”, he appeals to the masses because, rather than woodenly churning out the “stay at home, protect the NHS, save lives” mantra he cuts through the white noise with relatable aplomb.
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“If this virus were a physical assailant — an unexpected and invisible mugger — which I can tell you from personal experience it is, then this is the moment we have begun together to wrestle it to the floor,” he says.
A layman’s terms analogy which explains perfectly that it’s not yet in handcuffs and being hauled in to the back of a police van so, if we relax our lockdown techniques just now, the virus will wrestle free and wreak havoc again.
Understood. But one hopes that the PM has used his convalescence time to study the bigger picture and assess the vital tweaks that need to be made if he’s to keep the British public on side. Harsh lockdown measures made perfect sense in the first couple of weeks when this unprecedented situation took everyone by surprise.
But this is now week six, and there are some damaging mixed messages that need to be addressed if, as last weekend’s increased traffic and crowds proved, people aren’t going to quietly return to normal behaviour.
Where to start? The crowd on London’s Westminster bridge, perhaps, doing the right thing by showing their support during the Thursday night #clapforcarers but unwittingly damaging the social distancing measures imposed on everyone else by not practising it themselves.
“Why am I risking the loss of my business by staying home, when all those people can gather in one place?” asked a baffled friend. Quite. Particularly as he then saw the photographs of customers queuing round the block at the newly re-opened B&Q stores.
'COLLATERAL DAMAGE'
If they and other non-essential stores can trade while maintaining distancing measures, why can’t the thousands of small businesses facing ruin?
Or how about the traveller who flew from Manila in the Philippines — where his temperature was taken three times, his luggage sprayed with disinfectant and his address taken for contact tracing — to Heathrow where he just walked through unchallenged and went home? It defies belief.
Next is the mixed message that we are staying home to protect the NHS from becoming overwhelmed, yet many of the Nightingale hospitals set up around the country are virtually empty, as are the private beds seconded to help out during the crisis.
Meanwhile, cancer patients are having their chemotherapy sessions postponed and vital screening for breast, cervical and bowel cancer has been suspended because “normal” hospitals are struggling to cope with saving the lives of those with Covid.
As top cancer specialist Professor Karl Sikora says: “All of these individuals are collateral damage in the war against coronavirus.”
But surely they don’t have to be if Boris looks at the bigger picture and instructs that all new coronavirus admissions are taken to the Nightingale and other repurposed facilities so that, sooner rather than later, existing hospitals can return to treating serious, non-Covid patients?
The British public is keen and willing to do the right thing, but if we really are “all in this together”, as Boris keeps saying, then he needs to clear up the mixed messages that make it seem like there’s one rule for some, and another for others.
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TEASER TOM
ACTOR Tom Hardy is reading Bedtime Stories on CBeebies all this week.
He started on Monday with Hug Me, by Simona Ciraolo.
“Hello, I’m Tom,” he said. “Sometimes, on a day like this, I feel strong and happy. But on other days, I just need somebody to give me a hug.”
Form an orderly queue, ladies.
LIAM, GET CALLING
INTERESTING that all the former Dr Who stars appeared on the BBC’s Big Night In except for one – Christopher Eccleston. One of my favourite actors ever, he famously quit the iconic role after just one series.
Christopher reportedly felt the channel – rather than the show itself – handled his exit badly and blacklisted him afterwards, so perhaps that residual acrimony lives on.
Surely lockdown is the perfect climate in which to mend fences because you don’t have to actually be in the same room as potential irritants.
Perhaps, given it’s all for a good cause, Liam singing in his house while Noel plays the guitar in his would be the perfect first step towards an Oasis reunion?
VILLAIN HARVEY
GLEE creator Ryan Murphy is behind new Netflix show Hollywood, which looks at the murky post-War goings-on behind the glitter.
Sounds good. Though anyone in possession of Kenneth Anger’s Holly- wood Babylon books – detailing Fatty Arbuckle’s alleged rape and murder of actress Virginia Rappe or Charlie Chaplin impregnating a 16-year-old – will already be well versed in the movie industry’s less appealing side.
Perhaps, given Harvey Weinstein’s monstrous behaviour, it’s time for a modern-day version?
A CHIEF executive who told a female employee she has “got balls” was not being sexist, an employment tribunal has ruled. We needed a tribunal to tell us this? In the newspaper industry, it’s a compliment (whatever your gender) that leads to promotion.
LEADERS OUTDONE
FORMER Eton head-master Sir Eric Anderson has died at the age of 83.
He taught Boris Johnson and David Cameron at the famous school, plus Prince Charles at Gordonstoun and Tony Blair at Fettes.
His favourite pupil? Angus Deaton (no, not the actor Angus Deayton) – an economics prodigy who went on to win the 2015 Nobel Memorial prize for his analysis of consumption, poverty and welfare.
Proving that, however beautiful, brainy, famous or high-achieving you are, there’s always someone prettier, brighter or more feted who makes you feel inferior.
TRUMP’S DONE IT...
RUMOURS abound that North Korean leader Kim Jong-un has died after botched heart surgery. And that, even if he’s still alive, he’s in a “vegetative state”.
If dead, continuing to run the country may well present a problem. But the latter scenario isn’t necessarily an issue.
After all, someone in a vegetative state is currently running America.
LOCKDOWN CRIME DECREASE
IT was a record year for knife crime in 2019, soaring by seven per cent to 125 offences a day.
One of the positives of lockdown has been a marked decrease in gang warfare – not least, one suspects, because there are far more police out and about telling sun-bathers etc to move on.
Perhaps, when all this over, they could apply the same tactics to street gangs and make 2020 a record low for knife crime?
'WORDS DON'T MATTER'
FOLLOWING criticism of female characters being underwritten in his most recent film The Irishman, director Martin Scorsese has responded that they don’t need to speak to influence a scene.
He said: “Some times words don’t matter, sometimes it’s the feeling or the impression you get from another person . . . some times something is stronger without saying it.”
He’s right. Lockdown is a challenging time at Moore Towers where, according to The Bloke, one of my “looks” could freeze mercury.
'NUCLEAR WINTOUR'
MOST READ IN NEWS
ANDRE LEÓN TALLEY was once Vogue editor Anna Wintour’s right-hand man but found himself ghosted without explanation in 2018.
Now he’s written a warts ’n’ all memoir in which he describes “Nuclear Wintour” – as she is known in fashion circles – as someone “not capable of simple kindness”.
Funny, isn’t it, how people turn a blind eye to someone’s perceived failings when they are part of the inner circle and only find their tongue when they are frozen out of it.
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