Boss of hire car firm tells employees ‘watch Netflix, drink beer avoid excessive masturbation’ after furloughing them
THE boss of a car hire firm has told her staff to "stay at home, watch Netflix, drink beer and avoid excessive masturbation" after she furloughed them.
Ling Valentine, owner of Gateshead-based Lings Cars, penned a hilarious letter to advise her seven-strong team to "buy fewer pizzas and recreational drugs".
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But the two-page document sent out to her small team this week also reveals the kind-hearted boss has given her team an extra payment to see them through the unprecedented coronavirus chaos.
And she will consider loans to help any of her team who gets into financial hardship.
The entrepreneur posted the letter to Facebook and it reads: "This virus is a right t**t, but your employment position is not as bad as it seems.
"So, I am proposing to place you on furlough with effect from 01/04/20.
"You will remain an employee during this period. This is a temporary measure and as soon as we can return you to normal working conditions we will do so.
"Stay at home, watch Netflix, drink beer and avoid excessive masturbation.
"Our contract of employment with you reserves the right to lay you off or impose short time working.
“But as I am not a b****** we are not doing that and frankly if anyone is worrying about contracts and terms, you've got your head screwed on cross-threaded.
"Also if anyone gets into hardship. TALK TO ME.
"I'm happy to consider loans or salary advances (or even gifts) to help you out of you get in dire-straits, but we should all cut back a bit. Buy fewer pizzas and recreational drugs!
"So stay chipper, talk to me privately if things get sticky (not sticky like THAT), and keep smiling.
"Don't catch the bloody virus. Change hands at 99."
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The company has attracted global recognition for its load website which features, games, karaoke, and bright flashing designs.
Ms Valentine also appeared on Dragon's Den in 2007 and turned down a whopping £50,000 investment from the business experts.
She claims to have gone on to lease over £85million worth of cars in one year.
British workers up and down the country may be eligible for the government's new furlough scheme.
The government launched a "Coronavirus Job Retention Scheme" which started on March 1.
It is open to all UK employers for a period of at least three months.
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Simply put, if your work is forced to close temporarily due to coronavirus, employers can use a portal to claim 80 per cent of furloughed employees' wages up to £2,500 per month.
Employers can also claim the associated employer national insurance contributions and minimum automatic enrolment employer pension contributions on top.
This scheme is available to all employers that started a PAYE payroll scheme on or before February 28, 2020.
