Make or break in the sun

SUN, sea, sand and... relationship therapy?

Research shows couples heading for divorce or break-ups are jetting away on
romantic getaways in a last-ditch attempt to save their relationships.

Dubbed “save-cations”, these holidays are being taken to rescue a marriage
or rekindle romance away from the pressures of everyday life at home.

Whether a sun-drenched beach break or an action-packed adventure holiday,
these trips are helping desperate couples reignite their lost spark and
bring them closer together before they board the flight home.

But some relationship experts believe a holiday could actually be the final
nail in the coffin of a failing relationship.

Here, JENNY FRANCIS meets two women who all took save-cations with their
partners and finds out if the holiday heated up their hearts or left them
heading for the door.

'Stress of being away made problems worse'

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HEARTBROKEN Tammie Gotsall pinned her relationship hopes on a holiday to
Ibiza with her now ex partner.

The 38-year-old receptionist from Willenhall, West Mids, thought the break
would reignite the spark, but instead the holiday only highlighted the bad
aspects. Tammie says:

“I met my now ex-partner in January 2012 and we were rekindling a school
romance – I’d dated him when I was 14.

After eight months together, cracks started to show. He was very full-on and I
struggled to juggle him, my 13-year-old daughter Sharma and other
commitments.

I was worried it was all going to be over before it had started and we both
thought it’d be special to go away with Sharma to bring us closer.

I’d not been in a relationship for 18 months before he came along so I wanted
to give it a good go. We booked the holiday to Ibiza for October last year
and I was really excited for us all to be going away together.

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I reasoned that by going there we’d be reminded why we were together but, even
at the airport, I realised things might not work.

I realised how possessive he was. While on holiday, he’d get angry if a man
looked at me.

He also wanted to choose what we did and liked to stay out late. He couldn’t
understand that my daughter needed to go to bed before midnight.

After a big argument half-way through the holiday, we split up.

My daughter and I decided to stay at another hotel.

At the airport, I demanded a separate seat away from him and when we landed
back in the UK, we went our separate ways.

It wasn’t the result I wanted but the holiday that was meant to save us made
me realise we didn’t belong together.”

'It made us realise why we fell for each other'

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FULL-TIME mum Debbie Tole and her partner, mechanic Warren Walker, booked a
last-minute holiday to Spain in July last year in a bid to save their
failing relationship.

Debbie was five months’ pregnant when they booked the make-or-break trip –
and it proved exactly what the pair, both 32, needed, rejuvenating their
three-year relationship. Debbie, from Leyland, Lancs, said:

“Warren and I were so in love but it had started to get tough for us. We were
under a lot of pressure at home with family problems that involved rows and
financial pressures.

We’d given ourselves a year for me to get pregnant so when it happened in just
four weeks we weren’t ready and everything got on top of us. I was five
months pregnant when we reached the tipping point and this, combined with
the outside pressures we were facing, was putting strain on our relationship.

I was seriously thinking of ending things between us because it felt like we
were going nowhere. A holiday to Arboleas in Spain felt like a gamble but it
was a last resort.

I figured if it didn’t work out when we were abroad somewhere that beautiful
then nothing would save us.

But the truth is, it couldn’t have gone better.

It was so relaxing. There was no getting up for work, no pressures – it was
just Warren and me.

We realised the most important thing we had was each other and for the first
time in years we had moments alone together.

It made us realise why we’d fallen for each other in the first place.

When we got home we decided to put ourselves first – and when our
daughter Alayla was born, that was the icing on the cake.

I have very fond memories of that holiday and without it I’m pretty sure we
would not be together today.”