Extinction Rebellion should pack up their plastic tents and virtue-signalling hysterics and get back to work
THEY’RE still with us, then. The narcissists and bedwetters of Extinction Rebellion.
Still choking up the city of London. The most white and middle-class and privileged protest this country has ever seen.
All worshippers of a damaged and exploited 16-year-old Swedish girl who hasn’t got a clue what she’s talking about.
They want an end to capitalism. To be replaced by what? The socialism of the Soviet Union, North Korea or Ecuador?
Yay, brilliant! Capitalism has its flaws, but it has lifted untold billions out of poverty. These clowns, who wish to tear it all down, need to learn a bit of history.
They want an end to fossil fuels. And there they squat in their tents made out of polyurethane, in their polyester waterproofs, clutching their mobile phones. How do you think plastic is made, you morons? You think it grows on trees?
They think our society is wasteful. But they will buy their takeaway coffees from the big chains and queue at McDonald’s for their lunch.
You want to change the world, you drongos? Start at home, huh? Start with your own lifestyles.
My generation, the one you love to hate, had NONE of that stuff. No takeaways, no mobile phones, not much in the way of polyester either. Hell, even our tents were made out of canvas. But they are too busy sobbing to think about their own lifestyles.
INDULGED KIDULTS
This is the most cosseted and privileged generation we have ever seen. And they show not the slightest sign of wishing to give up the benefits modern industry has given them. It’s always someone else who is to blame, not them.
I wonder, incidentally, how many extra tons of fluorocarbons have been dumped in the atmosphere as a consequence of these protests? The buses and cars backed up for mile after mile on end, because they can’t get through? Do you suppose for a moment any of that occurred to them?
“We’re doing it for our CHILDREN!” they shriek. Nah, you’re not. You’re doing it because you are virtue-signalling hysterics. And the great irony, of course, is that they are being paid to squat on their fat ar*es by the rest of us.
If these dingbats work at all, it won’t be in the private sector. Private sector firms can’t afford to have an employee taking weeks off at a time because he’s had a hissy fit about global warming.
They work in the public sector or charities, where bosses are much more lenient about things like that — because they don’t have to make money. Without the private sector there wouldn’t be a public sector. We pay for you. Now pack up the tent and go back to work, you serially indulged kidults.
UTTER IRRELEVANCE
And don’t you think it’s about time the police started getting a little bit more involved with their work? These protesters have, once again, been indulged. Treated with astonishing kindliness by the police.
Imagine if this had been a Brexit rally? The whole lot of them would have been kettled and sent home by five o’clock, day one. Man-made climate change exists and we should do more to prevent the damage caused to our environment.
I don’t doubt that for one second. But these protests are an utter irrelevance. They are the pre-bedtime screech of a toddler. It’s about time the rest of us lost our patience.
Middle classes wise up
At last the real world has caught up with Pizza Express
THAT'S the pizza restaurant for middle-class people. And it is on its uppers, on the verge of closure.
That’s because it offers truly rotten value for money, and always has. The sizes are comparatively small and the prices nigh extortionate.
At last the middle classes have wised up – it’s only taken them 30 years or so.
WE OWE KURDS A LOT MORE
SO the Kurds have been betrayed again.
Donald Trump has announced that the US is pulling out of Syria.
He’s leaving the fight against IS to . . . Turkey.
The Turks are the great enemies of the Kurds.
And yet the Kurds have been our staunchest and bravest allies in the fight against the Islamist nutjobs.
Just as they were our allies in the first Gulf War. We let them down then, too.
Our government should insist on the creation of a Kurdish state, free from Turkish control.
We owe these people.
Black and white
Apparently if you paint cows black and white, like a zebra, it stops horse-flies biting them. This is the finding of a team of researchers who spent a lot of time out in fields. Painting cows black and white.
“Excuse me, but what are you doing?”
“We’re painting these cows here.” “Why?” “Oh, I dunno. Seemed like a good idea. Might stop horse-flies eating them?”
“Are you all there?”
“Yeah, we’re all fine. Next we’re going to paint some kestrels. Bright yellow. See if it stops them doing that stupid hovering thing they do. Have a nice day.”
RIP Hessy
RIP then, Hessy, the lovely humpback whale that swam up the Thames and has now been found dead
THE creature presumably reached Westminster Bridge. Saw all the crusties shrieking in Parliament Square.Caught sight of Speaker John Bercow striding around in the manner of a pompous midget. Saw the EU flags waved by Remoaner protestors. And promptly gave up the will to live.
Lovely creatures
TOSSERS with rifles are still out shooting badgers, on government orders. Or gassing them.
MORE evidence emerged this week that culling badgers actually SPREADS bovine tuberculosis. The Government was told that five years ago but paid no attention.
More and more of these lovely creatures are being killed in order to keep a handful of farmers happy.
VOTE FOR CORB, GET ECUADOR
THOUGHT you might be interested in the latest news from Ecuador.
That’s Jeremy Corbyn’s second-favourite country.
He loves their hardline socialist policies and hatred of the US.
It’s led by a bloke called Lenin Moreno, so that should give you a good idea of what his regime is like.
Anyway, Lenin and the rest of the government have had to scarper from the capital, Quito, because of continual violent protests against their useless policies and basket case economy.
The country is in flames. In fact, it’s going exactly the same way as Corbyn’s favourite country, Venezuela.
If you want to know what the UK would look like under Corbyn, have a look at Ecuador and Venezuela.
Here's the latest Brexit scare story
IF WE leave without a deal, the UK’s supply of sperm will, er, dry up. Apparently we import gallons of European Uncle Dunk every year. I have absolutely no idea why.
most read in opinion
Maybe some company freeze-dries stuff, shapes it into lumps for “tasty meat substitute” vegan meals. I had one of those the other day and I could well believe it.
How shall we cope without our regular gallon-loads of Belgian sperm? Maybe the Prime Minister has an answer.
Certainly never seems short of the stuff himself.
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