Renault’s Alpine A110A is light as can be and full of power

I’M pretty sure my wife thinks I’m having an affair.

Last Saturday she went off to work early in the morning. When she came home, the house was empty.

14

The washing up remained grease-smeared and stinking in the sink, the bedclothes lay knotted in a pile on the floor, curtains hung drawn against the stark winter sunlight.

The thing is, I had crept out of the house minutes after she left. I had a date to keep with a gorgeous French thing, and I got lost in the moment and time escaped me.

Except it was no mistress who kept me out of the house from dawn ’til dusk.

It was the Alpine A110 — a car which has been so universally lauded I was convinced it couldn’t live up to expectation. But boy does it.

14

You’ll hear the Alpine (pronounced Al-peen. French, innit) compared to a number of other all-time greats — most commonly the Porsche Cayman and Audi TT.

While I get the comparison, if you buy an Alpine expecting a Germanic feel — all solid build quality and fancy-pants electronics — you’ll be disappointed.

Don’t get me wrong, the build quality is more than fine with the Alpine, but it possesses a character all of its own. And that’s a very good thing indeed.

A brand revived by owner Renault after nearly 20 years of not producing a thing, the pressure was on to make the Alpine a true driver’s car.

It’s been achieved, mainly through a commitment to making it as light as possible.

The 248bhp produced by the mid-mounted 1.8-litre turbo engine might not sound particularly furious, but the Alpine weighs just 1,103kg, thanks to a 96 per cent aluminium chassis — which is around 300-400kg lighter than the rivals in its class.

14

Such a positive power-to-weight ratio equals blistering performance. It’s quick but also as agile as a cat trained in gymnastics.

The driving experience is positively effervescent — even at slow speeds it crackles and zips, with an underlying tautness that is nothing less than a tease in a 30mph zone.

But the moment you find a national speed limit sign the Alpine lights up angrily — the sensation as you bury your right foot into the floor makes hairs you didn’t know you had stand to attention.

The Alpine’s lightness gifts it a sensation of gliding over the Tarmac, of dancing down the road. It’s a difficult thing to explain, but all I know is I can’t get enough of it.

And if you’re looking for a car to perform some heroics in, this is it.

All the power is on the back wheels. It revs like a jet engine in sport mode, so if you dial down traction control, you’ll have the back end writhing like a worm in bleach with minimal effort.

Empty roundabouts become very fun indeed.

14

For sheer driving thrills alone, the Alpine justifies the £46,000 price tag. That said, for that amount of cash it needs to be suited to everyday use.

In normal mode, the engine and auto ’box operate without the same teeth-chattering urgency of sport mode, but the ride can feel firm.

No German electronic suspension, remember.

And the interior, while well designed and laid out, feels rather, well, Renault.

The infotainment system is especially cheap and nasty.

Even so, it’s a small price to pay, and the Alpine is worth every penny in my eyes.

It’s cheaper and more fun than maintaining a mistress, that’s for sure.

Beeming us back in time

THERE is something markedly old-fashioned about the new 8 Series.

BMW’s flagship nameplate, absent from its ever-expanding line-up of cars for some 20 years, is making a welcome return to the road.

14

But in the modern era of motoring, with electric-this and sustainable- that, the ashtray-toting 8 Series coupe is charmingly old-school.

Of course, the giant luxury sports cruiser – effectively replacing the 6 Series coupe – is stuffed with enough of the latest driver-assistance systems and safety technology to un-sink a battleship.

For its unique party piece, it will memorise your last 50 metres of driving and reverse you back in the same tyre tracks, all at the push of a button.

Its practical use, however, isn’t entirely clear (to me or the BMW suits) but it is certainly good fun.

During the car’s launch on Spain’s Costa del Sol, there was one glaring omission. Nobody was using the word “hybrid”.

The chat was all about luxury, refinement, sporting dynamics and – although this was not said, it was very much implied – smoking jackets.

14

Powered by an oil-burning 3-litre six-cylinder diesel in the 840d or a lust-after 4.4-litre V8 twin-turbocharged petrol in the M850i, it seems environmental concerns can wait – at least for 8 Series drivers.

Both derivatives were deeply enjoyable pounding the Spanish coastal roads. I tested them with its planted all wheel-drive and deft four-wheel steering, making this car a first-class grand tourer in all but name.

The 530hp V8 of the M850i – compared to the 320hp of the more efficient and longer-legged 840d – naturally takes the thrill-seeking lead.

Pops and bangs occasionally fire from the gaping exhausts on the overrun without sounding uncouth.

Supremely comfortable in the front, the rear seats remain more of a suggestion than a proposition to any human being of a traditional shape.

However, the boot space is relatively generous at 420 litres and will comfortably service any wealthy couple stealing away for a long weekend in the beautiful countryside they are doing nothing to protect.

14

Externally, the 8 Series coupe looks the business.

Designed by Brit John Buckingham, by way of Beemer’s Los Angeles studio, its muscular haunches, bullish stance and “double bubble” roof hark back to the most desirable GTs of yesteryear.

The snarling grille, side air breathers and almost sensual crease lines on the bonnet set off the 8 Series perfectly.

But inside it is less convincing, especially given a price tag close to £100k for the range-topping M850i.

If you are not distracted by the opulent glass gear knob, a few non-soft-touch areas on door trims and lower section of the central console (where your knees rest) disappoint for a car in this this uncompromising class.

Damn fast, unapologetically wide and suitably sardonic, the new BMW 8 Series coupe does exactly the same job it did two decades ago – and with that same fully-loaded smugness.

That is, until the fully-fledged fire-breathing M8 rocks up next year to grab its headlines.

Niagara falling for Zipcar hire

WHETHER or not you love driving, most holidays these days will involve some sort of care hire.

Rental firms are all well and good but if you plan anything other than driving direct from the airport to your hotel, it can be a hassle.

14

On a recent trip to Canada, JENNY FRANCIS tried out an alternative way to get around –  free of the faff.

I WAS embarking on a two-week trip around the state of Ontario.

I wanted a few nights in the city, a trip to Muskoka Lakes, a return to the city, then a jaunt to Niagara-on-the-Lake.

The minute I looked into car hire I was stumped. I’d have to make hour-long trips out of the city to airport-based rental firms to get my hands on a pair of wheels.

That was, until I discovered the car-sharing firm Zipcar.

Zipcars are dotted in streets and neighbourhood car parks all over the world, meaning you can jump in and out of cars without planning a pilgrimage to the nearest airport.

14

I only had to book my car 24 hours before, allowing me to be super-flexible about when and where I would pick the car up from.

For the first trip from Toronto to Muskoka Lakes I opted for a Mini Cooper. Comfortable, quick and small, it was the perfect way to whizz out of the city and around the Canadian countryside.

I simply pre-booked on the app, used my Zipcard – sent in the post when I became a member for free – and was on the road.

A few days later I drove straight back into the city centre and dropped it off before being car-free for six days in the city.

Next up, a trip to Niagara-on-the-Lake. An hour outside of Toronto, the area is full of luxury wineries.

This called for a different driving experience and the beauty of Zipcar is, you change cars as many times as you want.

14

I logged back on to the app, chose my motor – a BMW X1 – and walked six minutes to pick it up.

It was a joy driving an SUV around the scenery. And the ease and convenience of a Zipcar means no annoying queues at the car hire desk, no paperwork, and no travel in and out of the city. It made me fall in love with driving abroad again.

Go to zipcar.co.uk for more info. In the UK membership is currently free, with prices from £3 per hour or £33 for 24 hours with Zipcar Roundtrip.

Bike news

WHAT a time to be alive for sports bike fans.

A couple of weeks ago we looked at the beautiful Ducati Panigale V4, our bike of the year for 2018.

14

This week, we talk about an equally amazing sports bike – the 2019 BMW S1000RR.

When the S1000RR was launched more than ten years ago, it raised the bar – and made the entire bike industry stand to attention.

It was the first time a German brand had brought a sports bike to market and it made the big Japanese manufacturers very nervous indeed.

In fact, for a while nothing could touch it. It wasn’t just that it had traction control, ABS, riding modes and cruise control as standard. Oh no.

14

It was also all-day comfortable and had heated grips, so it was just as suited to the daily commute as it was to a track outing. The fact it sounded like an angel on a Waltzer was the cherry on top.

There have been small updates and a few special models over the past ten years, but for 2019 the S1000RR is all-new – and well worth getting excited about.

First things first. BMW has fixed that “lazy eye” the previous model had. Gone are the asymmetric headlights, in favour of a much more pleasing layout not unlike the Panigale.

The BMW has been to bootcamp since its last iteration, shedding a stone and a half in weight while gaining 8bhp.

14

That might not sound like much at first. But in sports bike terms, it is like winning Slimmer of the Year and Mr Universe . . . on the same day.

You can dance up and down the gearbox without using the clutch, all the while checking what gear you are in on the new TFT (thin film technology) screen.

Lean-angle indicators will also show you how far over you are cranked on those track days (or the commute, if you prefer). The headline figures are serious too – 197kg powered by a 207bhp engine.

Its rivalry with the Panigale is a battle for the ages.

• For more bikes, search “Bike World” on YouTube or find Bike World on Amazon Prime.
  

Reader’s car of the week

14

THIS Mercedes 500 belongs to Steve Tompsett of Strood, Kent.

He says: “It’s 17 years old and has done 104,000 miles but still runs as smooth as when I bought it eight years ago.

"It was all silver but a couple of years ago I had the bottom half sprayed my favourite colour.

“There’s a long list of people who’d like to buy it if I decided to sell.”

To see your pride and joy here, send a picture and a brief description to [email protected].