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Mercedes A-Class review: The posh hatchback that can crack jokes and uses augmented reality to show you where to go

The Mercedes A-Class is packed with incredible technology - and finance deals start from just £341 a month

NOW here’s a first - a car that cracks jokes.

Take these pearlers from Merc’s new voice assistant in the A-Class.

 The new Mercedes A-Class will respond to some questions in a jokey way
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The new Mercedes A-Class will respond to some questions in a jokey way

“Hey, Mercedes. Tell me a joke.”

“I can’t. My engineers are German.”

“Hey, Mercedes. You’re rubbish.”

“Hey, be nice, remember I know all your contacts.”

 When told it was rubbish, the A-Class responded by reminding me that it has my contacts
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When told it was rubbish, the A-Class responded by reminding me that it has my contacts

“Hey, Mercedes. F off.” It switched the FAN off.

Blimey. This car has better banter than Alan and Jimmy. I will add at this point that absolutely NO ONE will buy the A-Class for its virtual butler because, gags aside, it is hit-and-miss at understanding simple tasks. Like all these systems are.

And do you really need to ask a computer to open the sunroof or to turn up the music when a button is quicker?

But you WILL want an A-Class for that widescreen digital dash. Oh yes. One thousand per cent, yes. It is Class A, A-game, A-Class and pees all over BMW and Audi.

 The right-hand screen on the dashboard is touchscreen and overlays the satnav with real images, house numbers and road signs
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The right-hand screen on the dashboard is touchscreen and overlays the satnav with real images, house numbers and road signs

Even the base SE trim has two 7in screens as standard and the crowd-pleasing twin 10.25in screens you see here cost about £40 a month extra on finance. So you’ll have that. Tick.

The right-hand screen is touchscreen and overlays the satnav with real images, house numbers and road signs when a turn is coming up.

Between you and me, this multimedia system uses the same chip as a gaming console and is more advanced than the S-Class. You’ll see it in the Sprinter next.

The cabin is hard to fault. Lush, roomy, quiet, and this test car had head-up display, massaging seats, adaptive cruise control and all sorts of driver-assist tech.

 You WILL want an A-Class for that widescreen digital dash
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You WILL want an A-Class for that widescreen digital dash

Those turbine-style air vents from the E-Class coupe look class too.

Let’s gloss over the exterior – it looks exactly the same – and talk engines.

I’d go for the A180d (1.5-litre diesel) over the A200 (1.4-litre petrol) as it is more torquey and feels less strained. Yes, buddy, diesel.

Higher mpg, lower C02 and fitted with SCR tech to trap nasty NOx. Both engines have seven-speed autos and both ride well on the multi-link rear suspension.

The A250 (2-litre petrol) is 224hp and can box off 0-62mph in 6.2 seconds. That’s the most potent until hot AMG versions follow later.

The A-Class is one of Britain’s top ten sellers – 43,000 last year – and this fourth generation model sets a new benchmark for small car luxury. No joke.

Finance from £341 a month.

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