Subaru WRX STi is an anti-social beast with cigarettes on its breath but it’s one hell of a sexy drive

LET’S consider what makes a man.

It’s an important question, because the man of yesterday would be unrecognisable in the salon-tailored and gym-obsessed world of 2017.

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Sunday afternoon film heroes in my house were people such as Steve McQueen — a bloke whose idea of a “post-workout” was 20 Marlboro Reds and four fingers of scotch.

Sean Connery was the ultimate Bond, but he had a hairy back.

If he joined those nobheads on The Only Way Is Celebrity Big Brother Love Island In Chelsea, they’d be waxing him before he could say: “The name’s Bond.”

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So what are we left with? Zac Efron, that’s what. Have you seen this mammal? A former Disney kid who became sworn enemies with carbohydrates when he was about six and looks like he should be dancing on stage in a Vauxhall nightclub.

That’s now the guy hanging on your teenage daughter’s bedroom wall. This is the same struggle faced by the Subaru WRX STi.

It is the Steve McQueen of the car world, trying to make sense of, and keep up with, the new breed of pretty boy super-hatches such as the Honda Civic Type R and Ford Focus RS.

Its horsepower is real and brutal, almost untamable. It’s not honed to predictable perfection in a lab so that even the most incompetent driver can keep all of its 300-plus brake horses pointing forwards.

No, the WRX is an anti-social beast, with cigarettes on its breath and a habit of punching bar staff who dare call last orders.

And that’s why I love it.

The WRX is an anti-social beast, with cigarettes on its breath and a habit of punching bar staff who dare call last orders

You’ll notice I’m not calling it an Impreza. Subaru removed that badge and stuck it on a boring family hatch. They now call their rally legend a WRX STi — a poor choice of letters if ever there was one.

The WRX is one of those cars that almost resents being driven.

The gears are stiff, the steering heavy at slow speeds, and the fuelling doesn’t seem right on a cold engine, reminiscent of the days when we used manual chokes. But find a twisty road when the oil is nice and toasty? Oh boy.

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It’s easy to see why this car helped make Colin McRae a household name. Whether on wet tarmac, gravel or mud, the WRX’s permanent four wheel drive system doesn’t miss a beat.

It’s so good you have to remind yourself it’s the car keeping you on the road, and you don’t actually possess God-like driving ability. Powering those limpet wheels is a 2.5-litre turbo, four cylinder boxer engine ­—­ Subaru’s trademark.

The opposing pistons keep the centre of gravity low, which tightens the chassis further as you thunder into second gear corners.

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All the while, that antisocial attitude is there. The car is slow to gather pace in the lower revs, before exploding into thunderous noise and power as it approaches the red line, which means you’re shifting up before you know it.

Inside it’s basic but you don’t care as you’re having so much fun.

The reason I’ve reviewed the WRX is to see if this boyhood hero of mine is still relevant in the age of molten hot-hatches.

With a heavy heart, I admit in many ways it’s not. It doesn’t have the refinement of the Focus RS which makes that useable every day.

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And it doesn’t offer enough tech to compete with the Civic Type R.

But it’s a bit cheaper than both of those and they all cost a fortune to run, which means the WRX is clinging on in there as a viable rival.

This level of performance for just over 30 grand means it should keep finding its way onto the shopping lists of committed drivers.

Be warned, though — only real men need apply.

TESLA’S SUPERPOWERED SUV TAKES FLIGHT

OPTING for a seven-seat SUV was always a hard choice for a parent.

Thankfully, a raft of stylish family wagons have been released in recent years, including the Volvo XC90, Land Rover Discovery and Skoda Kodiaq. However, there is a new kid on the block.

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And its technological prowess looks set to blow other people carriers right out of the water.

It is the all-electric Tesla Model X – and the bizarrely shaped sci-fi spectacle has more technology than a Nasa control room.

Oh, and the most potent P100D model – which extracts every last drop of power from the 100kWh battery packs – can out-accelerate a Lamborghini. It is capable of sprinting to 60mph in 2.9 seconds and has a top speed of 155mph.

But it is the level of tech that will part punters from a fortune (even basic models cost £77,400).

It has a high-res 17in touch-screen display, front doors that automatically open when you approach and rear “Falcon Wing” doors that will awe passers-by.

The drive is quiet, thanks to the electric motor, and the rapid acceleration is mind-blowing.

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On the downside, the steering lacks feedback, some interior materials feel like they won’t stand up to daily abuse and the Falcon Wings can get a bit irritating.

But the all-electric range is 259 miles on basic models, up to a maximum of 336 – so enough for even the lengthiest of commuter journeys.

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And Tesla’s excellent network of Supercharger Stations makes it possible to add another 170 miles of range in the time it takes to have a coffee and stretch your legs.

There is no escaping the astronomical asking price. But if this is the future of the family wagon, you can count me in.

READER CAR OF THE WEEK

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THIS lovely Jaguar XJ was sent in by Jake Watt.

He says: “I bought this in part-exchange for a Kermit-green Nissan 4x4.

“Not much to compare, really!

“Future classic, if not already.”