Melanie Sykes warns the ‘f*****g weird’ men who give her unwanted attention will ‘get an ear-bashing’ from her
THERE'S something about interviewing Melanie Sykes that’s simultaneously enjoyable and unnerving.
Enjoyable because her conversation is always lively, intelligent and interesting, peppered with swear words and a droll turn of phrase.
Unnerving because you’re only ever one question away from a roll of the eyes and the sharp end of her tongue. If she doesn’t like the territory, she’ll give you short shrift.
“Not in a million years would I watch that crap,” she says dismissively after an enquiry as to whether she enjoyed the summer’s most talked-about TV show Love Island.
“I don’t watch rubbish.”
Aaaand, moving on.
Unashamedly forthright, Mel, who turns 47 tomorrow, is probably one of the most self-assured women you’re likely to meet. She’s not arrogant, nor aloof – just completely comfortable with who she is and what she wants out of life.
Take how she deals with unwanted and inappropriate attention from the opposite sex, which – depressingly but unsurprisingly – happens to her a lot.
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“I call it out. All the time,” she says, her still-broad Lancashire tones dripping with disdain.
“I have to because people are just so f**king weird, especially blokes. It’s only men isn’t it? Women don’t do it!
“Because I’m famous, they think they know me and how I’ll be, and usually they’ve got it completely wrong. I feel like I’m constantly having to educate men about how to behave around women. I actually relish it, because if I don’t tell them, they’ll go on and do it to some other poor woman. So next time he even thinks about saying that to another woman he might decide not to after getting an ear-bashing from me.
I feel like I’m constantly having to educate men about how to behave around women.
Melanie Sykes
“I don’t go around being an absolute bitch to men, but you can be firm, and I exercise that right all the time. I don’t want to feel uncomfortable because of someone else – why should I?”
She clarifies that she’s talking about language rather than looks, which according to Mel, are fair game.
“You can’t stop people looking. I mean, I ogle beautiful men all the time. If I see a gorgeous guy I’m having a f**king look, sorry! That’s human
nature. I’m talking about etiquette and language and I’ve no fear about saying it.”
We meet on a sunny afternoon a few days after the BBC gender pay gap story has broken. As a woman working in the media and one not short of an opinion, you’d expect Mel to have a firm stance on the row, but when the subject crops up, she throws a bit of a curve ball and declares the controversy as “not news”.
She says: “All those women need to fight for more. If you’ve got a value and you think you’re worth something, then you fight for it. There’s no way on earth Chris Evans is going to go: ‘OK, let’s give Claudia Winkleman £500k of my income.’ Why would he?
“To me, it’s not news that women get paid less. I think the only industry on the planet where women are paid more than men is modelling. Honestly, I think it might be. It’s annoying, but it is what it is.”
She shrugs her shoulders. It might not have come as a surprise to her, but doesn’t she think the figures look stark? And that what’s going on at
the BBC is symptomatic of a wider problem across the workforce?
“Well, yeah,” she concedes.
“It’s out of order and whoever is in charge needs to change it. But I’m not in charge!”
She doesn’t think that transparency about salaries is the way to bring about change, though, and says she would never dream of asking any of her male co-hosts from over the years – including Des O’Connor Gino D’Acampo and Alan Carr, her current co-host on BBC Radio 2 – what they’re paid.
“I think it’s vulgar to talk about people’s finances,” she says.
“It’s none of my bloody business and that’s the way I’ve been brought up. I’d never ask Alan Carr what money he’s on for the radio show. My business is what [fee] I’m comfortable doing the show for, and that’s how I feel about it. Every job that comes in for me, I work out the days, the homework, the exposure, and I work out what I think I should earn.”
There’s no doubt that Mel has confidence in her worth. The chemistry she’s shared with each of her co-hosts over the years is, she says, definitely not down to luck.
“I think it’s very much down to me,” she laughs.
“When I’m on TV I’m not fighting for airtime. I couldn’t give a s**t. I would happily let the other person do that. I’m not ‘stage school’ or any of that, I’m not a scene-stealer. I just don’t do it.
“Men in the industry have more ego than women and they need more than I do. Ask any production company that’s worked with me – I am so low-maintenance it’s unbelievable. And if we’ve got an alpha male who’s not playing ball, I always get sent in to sort it out. I’m good with alphas because I’m not scared of them. So I’m quite useful as well as being able to present!”
Away from work, Mel is a single mum to two teenage boys (“I know, it’s madness,” she says in disbelief) and has come straight from the 13th birthday celebrations of younger son Valentino, known as Tino. She’s open about the fact he is autistic and the challenges they face together, and over the past few years has become a vocal campaigner for autism awareness.
“I didn’t [go public] until he was seven because I was processing it,” she says.
“I was just trying to help Tino. You do go through a grieving process but I’m 10 years down the line with it now so it’s not as painful.
“I stay in the moment with it because you can’t predict the future. He’s only 13 and he’s got a lot of maturing to do and all of that with an underlying condition, so we just have to play it a day at a time. But I’m never not happy around him. I’m never not laughing and I’m never not so in love – with both of them, obviously – but Tino is my baby and he’s got a condition so he’s a bit more of a squidge in my life. He’s a real mummy’s boy.”
Mel’s edges instantly soften when talking about her boys. She breaks into a huge grin, exudes warmth and becomes increasingly expressive.
Roman, 15, has asked her not to talk about him publicly any more (“he is the greatest company and I’m really proud of him,” is as much as she’ll divulge), but she’s more than happy to discuss Tino, who she describes as “hilarious and wonderful”.
“Birthdays can be quite difficult because if someone has bought Tino a card or a present that isn’t quite right then it can cause issues,” she says.
“I have to walk out of the room laughing sometimes. Like, this morning he said the birthday cards were so childish. He’ll have no qualms telling people he doesn’t like what they’ve bought for him. Over the years I’ve had to say to people not to take it personally. You can’t be precious!”
High-functioning Tino attends a mainstream state school with a provision for autistic children after Mel and actor ex-husband Daniel Caltagirone, 45, battled hard to find him a place in the system. But a forthcoming week-long trip to India with the charity Sightsavers, where Mel will see work being done to help preventable blindness in children, has thrown her youngest son’s routine off-kilter.
“All he wants to know is when I’m back – he couldn’t give a s**t about where I’m going,” she says, laughing.
“He has a calendar and he crosses off days he’s not with me. It’s a big old thing and he puts it in his rucksack and carries it around with him.
“He’s cool, he’ll be with his father but he will find it difficult. But I’ve got to go – it’s where my roots are [Mel’s mum is Indian] and it’s so important.”
Since the very public breakdown four years ago of her marriage to Jack Cockings, the roofer 15 years her junior who she famously met on Twitter, Mel has vowed to keep her private life just that. She won’t even say whether she’s in a relationship, but the smile on her face as she deflects the question suggests she’s more than happy with whatever she’s got going on.
“I’ve had a private life for three and a half or four years now, and it’s amazing,” she says.
“When people say they can’t have one, well, you can. I don’t talk about it, I don’t share it, I don’t go anywhere where it’s going to be obvious. That’s how you do it.”
A former model, Mel first became a household name in the mid-’90s when she appeared in the iconic “Would you like a Flake in that, love?” Boddingtons ads. She went on to co-host The Big Breakfast, Today With Des And Mel and Let’s Do Lunch With Gino & Mel.
Three years ago she was the last woman standing on I’m A Celebrity! and, with that body, has become something of a poster girl for the benefits of health and fitness.
Earlier this summer she was the voice-over for the Paul O’Grady and Channel 5 relaunch of Blind Date. Her script was a fair bit saucier than it was in the days of Cilla and Our Graham, but then if you book Mel Sykes, you’re gonna get spice.
“It was good fun because I was working with a stand-up comic called Robin Morgan and we came up with all sorts of filth. Some lines were positively pornographic and we had to get rid of them. I know it sounds like it was only a voice-over job, but it was a real process, and the pressure was off because I wasn’t in front of camera. Being able to watch Paul do what he does was amazing. He keeps the audience so happy.”
One of the keys to surviving three decades in a notoriously brutal industry has been Mel’s ability to diversify and refusal to panic when the work hasn’t been as abundant as it might be. She recently reunited with her old agent and says it feels like it’s the start of a positive new phase.
“I’ve been self-employed for nearly 30 years so no, I don’t worry about the diary being empty, otherwise I would have lost my mind by now. You just have to go with the flow. This industry is ups and downs, peaks and troughs – you just have to wait and bide your time and do all the things you need to do to make things happen.
“I’m with the right team now and things are going to change. So it feels like a new start but then I feel like I’m always restarting, and that’s fine.”
There are plans to film a new Boddingtons advert, but it’s radio where Mel’s heart lies these days and she’s “in heaven” sitting in for Graham Norton on Radio 2 over the summer alongside Alan Carr, who she clearly adores.
“He is so brilliant. He said that when he works with me he always gets something back that he can bite again. It’s the back and forth.
“I’ve always wanted to be on Radio 2, and how good is that – to want something and get it? Of all the people in all the world, they booked me to go and chat to Alan for three hours on a Saturday morning. Radio is where I’m happiest in my broadcasting life.”
Does she believe in being able to make something happen if you want it enough?
“I dunno. A lot of people believe that, don’t they? I definitely put it out there that I wanted to be on Radio 2. And I’m there.”
Listen to Alan And Mel’s Summer Escape, Saturdays, 10am-1pm, BBC Radio 2.