PUNCHING ABOVE HER WEIGHT
Anorexic young woman whose weight plummeted to 5st 7lb after she became obsessed with ‘healthy’ eating says body building saved her life
Amanda Essen, 21, has finally beaten her suicidal demons
A YOUNG woman whose weight plummeted to 5st 7lbs when she became dangerously obsessed with 'healthy' eating has beaten her suicidal demons after becoming a body builder.
Personal trainer and model Amanda Essen is 5ft 8.5ins tall but a battle with anorexia, which spiralled from her attempts to be healthy, left her wearing kids' clothing.
8
8
As a school pupil, the now 21-year-old, from Turku, Finland, would only eat small portions of vegetarian food - and played football several times a week.
Amanda said of her ilness: “It started slowly, I wanted to be healthier and I started eating vegetarian food, training more and reading health-magazines.
“I had always been tall and very tiny, so my body changed quickly and my parents and the school got worried.”
She added: “I was almost immediately admitted to hospital. I was fighting for life but I thought I was going in the right direction.
“However, I just got worse, I lost even more weight and the hospital started calling me anorexic, so I believed in it.
“I didn’t even know about anorexia before this... In Sweden, we found an eating disorder unit that finally saved my life and it was here, we started to go to right direction.”
8
8
Amanda has gained three stone since her hospital stay, but her journey back to health has not been easy.
She explained: “I wanted to live the most normal life ever, start school and meet friends, I tried to leave every thought about food, exercise and control at the hospital.
“I did manage this for a couple years until I got deeply depressed and started to get suicidal thoughts daily.
“It was at this time that the gym and strength training saved my life.
“I not only found happiness and the will to live but I also gained more than one-and-a-half-stone which made me feel strong and capable to survive anything.
“Over the years - through depression, anorexia, suicide attempts, the uncertainty of my life, playing with food, arguments with my family and loved ones - I have learnt a lot and have arrived at the place I am today.
“Today I'm confident, independent, happy, grateful, free, healthy, strong and I can honestly say I enjoy every second of my life now.
“Whether it's a good or bad day, I've learnt to be thankful because I live.”
8
MOST READ IN REAL LIFE
8
Amanda added: “I have recovered from being a weak, anorexic, sick, depressed and burnt out girl to a strong, both mentally and physically, happy and inspired girl that wants to help others - and hopefully have a positive impact on people and make difference.
“The most difficult thing about my recovery was forgetting the time I spent in hospital and having to fight on my own because, although I had support and help around me, it was my own fight.
“Before, I was shy, insecure and wanted to do everything right and hated myself for everything, but now I love being different.
“I am brave and confident and am able to forgive and learn from everything.
“I do not like to use the word mistakes, because there are no mistakes, only lessons where opportunities can grow.
“I am so thankful that I was able to overcome this.”
8
8
Amanda shares her story on her , where she hopes to inspire her 17,500 followers.
Her advice to others? “No one understands the pain and fight you go through every day. You have to do hard things, the things that scare you.
“That is the secret to success. You'll be amazed at how strong you actually are and you are able to do and accomplish much more than you think you can.”
Amanda added: “You need to choose recovery over and over again, do it for your own sake.
“Not for others but for yourself. You have worth and you need to respect and love yourself, don't let anything or anyone change that.
“Be brave. I know you are strong enough. If I could make it, you will as well. I know that.”
Topics