Student who tried to take her own life three times slams controversial Netflix show 13 Reasons Why for ‘romanticising’ suicide
Critics say the teen drama could act as a trigger for young people with mental health issues, but others – like the mum of a daughter who hung herself – say it opens a much-needed dialogue on rape, bullying and suicide. Fabulous investigates
LATE on a Wednesday night, Catherine Perrin-Griffiths hears her mum, Edith, 44, go to her bedroom in their Preston family home.
Waiting long enough to ensure she’s fallen asleep, Catherine, 20, crawls into bed, props her tablet on her lap and hits play on popular Netflix teen drama 13 Reasons Why.
She knows she probably shouldn’t be watching, and by the time the credits roll she’s almost shaking with anger, her hands tracing the pattern of scars covering the tops of her legs.
“When I realised it would be highlighting teen mental health and suicide, I initially thought it was a fantastic idea to bring such stigmatised topics to the forefront of people’s minds, as it’s something I’ve experienced,” explains Catherine, a student at the University of Central Lancashire.
“But then I watched the first episode and my opinion quickly changed.”
Since 13 Reasons Why’s international premiere on March 31, there have been more than 11 million tweets about it – good and bad.
Based on the bestselling novel of the same name, it opens with one unalterable fact – 17-year-old American high-school student Hannah Baker has killed herself and left 13 tapes calling out the people she blames for her suicide.
The show deals with topics such as rape, bullying, slut-shaming and drink driving, plus a gut-wrenching depiction of Hannah’s suicide.
Within days of airing, there were calls from viewers for the show to be pulled, or at least to have the suicide scene removed.
In the US, the National Association of School Psychologists warned against “vulnerable youth, especially those who have any degree of suicidal ideation” watching the series.
Closer to home, The American School in London sent a letter to parents to express concerns “it may be appealing to students already looking for a ‘way out’’’ and urged them not to let children watch it alone, while St Olave’s Grammar School in Kent also warned parents that students as young as 11 were discussing the series at school.
Meanwhile, a Colorado district still mourning the deaths of seven students who have taken their own lives since the beginning of the year, pulled the novel from library circulation fearing it could be a trigger to mentally ill young people in the area.
Originally only two episodes of the series – which counts singer Selena Gomez as an executive producer – contained warnings to viewers about sensitive content. Last month, however, Netflix bowed to pressure, adding more.
Ged Flynn, chief executive of youth suicide prevention charity PAPYRUS, argues that’s not enough.
“Content warnings aren’t going to stop kids from watching the show. My worry in speaking out against the programme was that I would draw attention to it, but I have a duty to warn parents and vulnerable youth about it and its content,” Ged explains.
“And for those struggling with mental health issues, it could give them the chance to open up a dialogue about a very difficult and taboo issue.”
According to Dr Touroni, issues such as bullying and poor mental health are realistically portrayed in the show.
And considering suicide is still the leading cause of death for people under 35 in the UK* – plus the fact that the current rate of female suicides is the highest it’s been in a decade** – she believes this is an issue we need to start talking about.
Jay Asher, who wrote the book on which the series is based, certainly agrees.
The story, published in 2007, was reportedly inspired in part by a relative of his, who attempted suicide while in high school.
“The only thing that bothers me is when people try to shut down a conversation about it. To me, that’s the most dangerous thing,” he has said.
“To give respect to the people these things happen to, it felt wrong to hold back. It has to be uncomfortable. If it’s not, and we pull away, it felt like the story would only contribute to that problem of not truthfully tackling these things. We’re good at avoiding uncomfortable subjects, and that needs to change.”
Leah Parsons, a 50-year-old former counsellor now working as a rape advocate, says 13 Reasons Why offers families a chance to open up a much-needed dialogue on rape, bullying and suicide.
To give respect to the people these things happen to, it felt wrong to hold back. It has to be uncomfortable. If it’s not, and we pull away, it felt like the story would only contribute to that problem of not truthfully tackling these things.
Jay Asher, Author 13 Reasons why
She’s felt the devastating blow of suicide first-hand, losing 17-year-old daughter Rehtaeh in 2013 in a case that rocked their native Canada.
“Rehtaeh was such a compassionate kid with the biggest heart,” Leah says from her home in Nova Scotia.
“She was a total bookworm, reading everything from Gandhi to Michael Jackson’s autobiography. She just loved to learn.”
That zest for life was snubbed out after a single night in November 2011, when Rehtaeh, then 15, was allegedly gang-raped by four boys at a high-school party.
Soon after, a photo showing the alleged rape was circulated around school and the bullying began.
“My daughter changed dramatically after that,” recalls Leah.
“She went from having dreams of becoming a marine biologist to a bitter, depressed person who cried all the time and turned to marijuana and drink to get by. She once said: ‘Mum, I’m afraid of my own feelings because I’ve never had these thoughts before.’ She was scared for her life and what she might do.”
Rehtaeh received a barrage of cruel texts and eventually checked into a mental health ward for young people, but sadly it didn’t help, and in April 2013 she hanged herself at home.
Watching 13 Reasons Why brought back painful memories for Leah, in particular the scene where Hannah’s parents find her lifeless body in the bath.
“I felt that pain,” says Leah, who was at home when Rehtaeh took her life and was the first to find her.
“I felt pure anguish. It’s such an important scene. I’ve spoken to kids who’ve attempted suicide and thankfully didn’t succeed, and so many believed they were a burden and that their family would be better off without them. That scene shows the devastation for those left behind.”
It took Leah a month to watch the series, taking breaks between each episode, but ultimately she found the show’s message to be a positive one.
[Kids] will see it, so it’s better to be informed and have that conversation so it’s not just kids talking about it – adults can give a different perspective.
Leah Parsons
“I think it was really authentic and certain aspects – in particular how rape was normalised among the students – really resonated with me,” she says.
Leah’s hope is that parents will watch the show with their kids and talk to them afterwards about how the issues within it make them feel.
“Kids have seen those things – they see naked people, they see brutality on TV. If it’s not in your home it’s in somebody else’s and on social media. They will see it, so it’s better to be informed and have that conversation so it’s not just kids talking about it – adults can give a different perspective.”
Catherine, who’s studying to be a mental health nurse, wants any teens watching the show and considering suicide to know there’s light at the end of the tunnel.
“Don’t be afraid to ask for help,” she urges.
“Suicide isn’t beautiful, but it’s OK to talk about it. You owe it to yourself and to loved ones to try.”
If you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health, call the PAPYRUS confidential HOPELine on 0800 068 4141 or text 07786 209697.
Sources: *PAPYRUS **Office For National Statistics