I’m having amazing hot sex with my married boss and long for him to ditch his wife
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Dear Deidre
I AM having amazing secret sex with my married boss.
I want him to leave his wife to be with me but I’m too scared to ask him.
I am 31 and he is 42. We first met eight years ago when I started working as a personal assistant.
He was a sales manager in the team I worked with and as soon as our eyes met I knew he was special.
We got on so well and our friendship soon turned to flirting.
I knew he was married with one child and another on the way so I kept my distance out of respect for his wife and family.
Time passed and he was promoted and moved on to another office in the same firm.
Contact between us stopped and I tried hard to put him out of my mind.
I had a few relationships but I couldn’t stop thinking about him.
He has climbed the company ladder and was promoted back into our office four months ago and now he’s my boss.
All my feelings from years ago came flooding back but I avoided him at first then decided I was being silly.
I saw him as I left the office late one evening and plucked up the courage to talk to him about how I felt when I first met him eight years ago.
He said that he had always liked me too.
We swapped phone numbers and started sending one another sexy texts throughout the day.
None of our colleagues suspect a thing.
We went for drinks one night after work and he ended up coming back to my flat.
We had the most passionate sex and have been meeting up every week since that night.
We really enjoy one another’s company as well as the passionate sex.
I really want him in my life.
I desperately want him to leave his wife to be with me but I am so afraid to approach the conversation. I feel very guilty about his children too.
Should I cut all ties and move on or wait for him?
There is no conversation worth having.
What you currently share with him is a dead-end affair.
MOST READ IN DEAR DEIDRE
If he’s not raised the subject, that won’t change.
You always knew this guy is married.
Are you hoping he saw this as true love and will leave his wife for you? I’m afraid this guy has no intention of leaving, not at least while he can have the best of both worlds.
Don’t waste any more time, let alone years, thinking about him.
Say you can’t see him again and stick to your guns.
You deserve to be number one in a man’s life.
Concentrate on improving your social life to distract yourself and give yourself the chance to meet an unattached guy of your own.
My e-leaflet Your Lover Not Free? will help you to think this through.
Heartbroken after my love got with my best mate
Dear Deidre
MY boyfriend had sex with my best friend after we broke up.
I’m really struggling to cope.
I was with my boyfriend for three years. We have a son together who’s almost two.
I’m 26 and my boyfriend’s 27. We got on well after the split.
He told me he wanted me back but I wasn’t ready.
I had an argument with him and my best friend one night.
They ended up sleeping together and were ready to start a relationship.
My best friend is 26. I am heartbroken.
I’ve since told my son’s dad how I felt and he’s split up with my best friend but I’m still broken by it. It hurts so much.
DEIDRE SAYS: Your ex was a free agent when he had sex with your best friend but maybe this has revealed your true feelings for him.
Are you ready to try again, or is it just possessiveness? You need to be sure.
It’s best for your son if you can be happily together but parting again would just cause him more hurt and confusion.
TOPIC FOR TODAY
FAR more men struggle to climax these days than ever before.
It can damage your confidence in bed and it feels like a handicap if you want to start a family.
My e-leaflet Man Who Finds It Hard To Climax? can help.
Email me at [email protected] for a copy.
Stutter standing in the way of love
Dear Deidre
I’D love to go out and meet new people but my stutter makes it so hard for me to be understood.
My doctor said it is down to stress and a lack of confidence.
I am a guy of 32.
I have a decent job and my own flat.
I had good mates growing up but they all have wives or girlfriends now and I am lonely.
I would love to have a girlfriend but I know the way I speak will put girls right off.
They will just run a mile.
DEIDRE SAYS: In fact stammering is a neuro-developmental problem and not caused by stress.
Girls worth knowing will be more understanding than you imagine but of course the initial contact can feel scary.
Speech therapy and singing can help.
Find a speech therapist and guidance through the British Stammering Association (, 020 8880 6590). Joining a local choir could help you make new friends, too.
Scared to admit my heels fetish
Dear Deidre
I AM a man of 41 but have been fascinated by women’s high heels since I was a child.
I’ve bought lots over the years and also strayed into a bit of cross-dressing.
I got to know an older, very attractive lady ten years ago.
She was then 49 so nearly 20 years older than me, but there was a spark between us and we became lovers.
I told her how much I loved heels and she encouraged me to wear them with her.
That relationship recently ended and I have now found a new girlfriend.
She is 36 and has said she finds men wearing heels weird so I have never told her.
My need to wear heels is growing more and more but I know my girlfriend would leave me over it.
DEIDRE SAYS: Your new relationship will never make you happy unless you can share your love of heels with your girlfriend and she can at least be accepting, even if she doesn’t want to play an active role.
The Beaumont Society supports transvestites, transsexuals and their partners and could help you find the right words to start talking to your girlfriend (, 01582 412 220).
Should I contact father of my child?
Dear Deidre
I WANT my daughter to know her dad but I don’t want to mess up his life.
He may be married and have another family – I don’t know much about him.
I met my daughter’s dad on a website.
He was the same age as me.
I told him I wanted to spend one night together and nothing more.
I hadn’t long split from my ex and I felt lonely. We used a condom but it split.
I realised I was pregnant a few weeks later.
I’m so happy I had my daughter but I want her to know her dad.
I don’t need financial help from him and I don’t want him to have anything to do with me.
I am 28. My daughter is almost one. I am constantly thinking about what to do.
DEIDRE SAYS: It would be best for your daughter to know her dad. You can avoid the hurt of years of evasion if you act now.
I hope he will react in a positive way but you have to be prepared that he may not want to be involved in his daughter’s life, though he does have a legal obligation to help maintain his child financially.
Your daughter may need his support later.
Talk it through with Family Lives (, 0808 800 2222).
BECOME A FORCES PENPAL: My service has helped cheer up our lads for years – especially those serving overseas. Find out how to join in here.
