After maternity leave TV thriller The Replacement, mum reveals her paranoia about handing over her job
JUST when you thought it was safe to go on maternity leave, BBC1’s new thriller The Replacement arrives.
The story follows architect Ellen who goes off to have her baby — only for the woman covering her job to begin to take over her life with horrifying consequences.
More than five million viewers watched the first episode on Tuesday.
Here, The Sun’s LYNSEY HOPE – who starts maternity leave today to have her second child – describes her own paranoia about handing over her job.
IF you think having a baby is hard, giving away the job you love for a year is even harder.
And it’s a dilemma faced by many working mums-to-be across the country.
People expect you to be worried about giving birth, sleepless nights and keeping a tiny human alive.
It’s incredibly painful to hand your job over to someone who’s probably five years younger than you and ambitious as hell
But on my first experience with maternity leave, my biggest fear was losing the job I’d worked so hard, for years, to get. A job I enjoyed and one I did well.
It’s so incredibly painful to hand that over to someone else. Someone who’s probably five years younger than you and ambitious as hell.
You worry no end if that person is only interested in their career and probably not too bothered about family and kids (for now at least).
This is someone who probably doesn’t have to leave the office to pick up their kids at 6pm and who can go to the pub with colleagues after work, too.
It’s only natural that they want a promotion — and for them, that means your job.
It can make you feel incredibly insecure and you do become suspicious of everyone in your office.
People you thought were friends suddenly become your competition.
I had worked for more than a decade to get a good reputation doing my job before I became pregnant with my first child.
That meant leaving to do a completely different job — one I wasn’t paid for and for which I got no congratulations from my boss if I did it well.
Questions spun through my mind when I first went away for a year to have my son.
Would I ever be viewed in the same way again? Or would I now just be another “working mum”?
Then there were the worries about what would happen when I returned to work.
How on earth was I going to be able to leave on time to pick him up from nursery by 6pm?
Would I be a bad mother because I work?
Or even worse, am I an awful person because I enjoy my job and time away from changing nappies, trips to the park and playing Thomas the Tank Engine?
Another thing you have to contend with when returning to the office is the “other mums” who work there.
These are the ones whose babies sleep through the night at two weeks, who never seem to put on a pound during pregnancy and whose child is declared a genius before their first birthday.
If I arrive late looking haggard, half a stone heavier eating chicken nuggets and with sick on my shoulder, my colleagues might wonder why I can’t be more like the “other mum”.
So, on top of worrying about work, you now worry about being a useless mother.
Now, I’ve just started maternity leave for a second time. Many of the same old worries return — and there’s all sorts of new ones too.
Will I be able to juggle my job with TWO babies? What will happen when they are unwell?
Related Stories
I can’t phone up every time they have a cough or cold and say I’m not coming in — but if they fall ill the nursery won’t take them either.
Obviously all these fears add up and take an incredible toll on one’s mental wellbeing . . . . which is not helped by the extreme tiredness.
The only way to survive is to have people around you who care for and support you.
Ones who, when you’re having a tough time, will take you for a glass of wine and tell you that you are valued.
Now, as a second year away from the office looms ahead of me, I keep telling myself that I was employed for a reason — and that I cannot beat myself up for doing two jobs rather than just one.
Survival tips in the workplace
BY PSYCHOLOGIST EMMA KENNY
Before birth: FIRST and foremost, keep lines of communication open with your employer.
Before you finish up at work, ensure you are up to date with everything.
But don’t feel pressured to work right up until your due date.
The welfare of your baby and your wellbeing are the top priorities.
Weeks after birth: YOU have experienced a major physical event and a huge life change.
Accept that this is a big deal and you need time to come to terms with your new situation.
For some, this can be a really challenging time, so don’t beat yourself up if you fail to enjoy the initial few weeks.
Three months after birth: TIME to start exploring your new role and the opportunities it offers.
New social groups and friendships are abundant in this phase and can make a new mum feel connected.
If you have a partner, it’s important they share the strain of sleepless nights even if they work.
Six months after birth: WHEN your leave ends, you can feel grief and a drop in confidence. This is entirely normal.
Contact work and ensure that everything is ready for your return.
And ask your partner, family or friends for help so you can get your sleeping pattern back to something like normal.